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Friday, October 21, 2011

So far, So good!!

Well its Week 2,  Day 5 of the Empowerment Challenge and as the saying goes....So far, So good!!

I have noticed some really POSITIVE changes in my attitude towards ME, one of which includes being able to look in the mirror and find things to smile about which is a huge accomplishment.


Today I said out loud that I really like my calf muscles...

Even Glenn commented the other day that I 'looked' as though I felt good about myself, he said that I've been standing taller.  I was so shocked that he noticed and made sure I told him that it was a really nice thing to say because YES he was right. 

Mind you, I had just finished a kick butt Personal Training Session which he came and 'watched'.  It was funny actually because at one point I caught him looking at me shaking his head and when we got out he said "Damn girl, keep that up and you'll be stronger than me".  I just said you bet your arse I will be hehehehe!


I am a WINNER...even with a dorky smile hehe!

Now don't get me wrong, there are still things that I need to work on like dealing with my loose skin issues for instance, but I refuse to let them overtake the positives and will eventally also tackle those demons especially the fact that I think people won't take me seriously as a Trainer because I don't LOOK like a trainer!

This particular issue came up for me on Monday when I did a Yoga Class at the Bacchus Marsh Leisure Centre (in front of mirrors on the stage) as a fill in for Toni's Body Balance class.  Toni is a pocket rocket who looks amazing and then there's me!  Hmmm, see still demons and self doubt but they will be banished soon enough,  I have 4 more fill in sessions to take so that gives me time to work through them.

So anyway back to the positives as small steps = big victories!

If you think my rolls make a difference in my role - KISS THIS!
  
I have also noticed that my general outlook on life has shifted.  I have always tried to be a postive person but lately its not so much a matter of 'trying' its just who I am and how it is.  I realise that you cannot be positive 100% of the time (as the above clearly showed) because such is the duality of life - balance is needed to create harmony.  BUT, how long you choose to stay in that place of negativity before turning the situation around is another question and this is where I am finding that EMPOWERMENT plays a part! 

For Example:  Last week I LOST 1.7kg, which I was overjoyed about as it was an awesome first week result!  Today however, (and yes I know its early and so a 'NoNo') I hopped on the scales and it hasn't moved off the 86.1kg from Monday.  My first reaction was to step off and get back on again just in case it didn't read properly but after doing it for the third time there was no mistaking the reading and so I just had to accept it.

I won't lie to you, at first I was pissed off and started with the whole "if you hadn't of eaten this and that last week then maybe it would be different" and then next came the "I have worked my arse off for nothing blah blah blah". 

BUT, then I remembered my promise to myself and the fact that this time around the challenge isn't about a 'number' it is about Empowerment and I realised that by allowing the scales to dictate my happiness level for the day I was surrendering my power - which is not going to happen!


I SURE AM - This number does not define me!

Goals revisited....

If you read my last blog you would of noticed that I set myself goals for the first week and also for the 8 weeks (committments).

I am happy to say that 'most' of the Week 1 goals were achieved and the committments are also doing well.  Some of them however are still more of a work in progress due to me deciding that it was more important to be kind to myself rather than pushing too hard too fast as I want this to be a LIFESTYLE CHANGE rather than just something I do for the next 8 weeks.

My eating habbits have improved heaps and although there were a couple of endulgences I believe that it will be what makes this time around the one that works.  If I feel like it, I'm going to have it as long as its in moderation and not for emotional comfort as food is not the answer.

I did my PT sessions with Steve at the new PT Studio on Monday and Thursday last week and only Monday this week.  I have to say that I love feeling STRONG.  I am now up to 17.5kg free weights for upright rows which is half way through the rack.  I have decided to take on the extra PT session fortnightly as a little extra boost.

I have found my Gym Mojo again (well not today but I worked out at home instead) and it feels soooo good.  My knee has caused some frustration but its been holding up which is good - wearing 2 braces for extra support has made a huge difference to reducing the pain to enable me to do more.  I go back to the surgeons on Thursday. 

I didn't finish my massage modules, which meant no exam :( but I have 1 month until the next assessment and I will be ready for it, NO If's, But's or Maybe's.  I am hoping that Glenn will take the boys out on Sunday so I can have a FULL STUDY day!

OMG I have cut down my sugar and am suprised at how easy it has been.  I am actually considering cuttng it out completely.

Organising all of my training sessions in advance (with a back up plan) has made a world of difference to the flow of my week and also the training sessions themselves so I am going to continue this for sure.

Balance has been one of those ups and down things which is frustrating, but sometimes life throws some curve balls (little adventures, outings) and you just have to deal with it the best way you can. 

On Thursday night I went out to the Music Showcase and loved every minute of being on stage.  Part of that was because Jimi got up with me and added a whole new dymanic to my music which was amazing.  I am so excited at the thought of getting together to see where this will take us - the festival circuit sounds good to me,


As Saturday was such a lovely day I ditched the housework and spent the day with Tash and the boys instead which was lovely.  I really love spending time getting to know her more so it was worth being behind the eight ball.


Oh and then Sunday was the car show and shopping and so I didn't get to my housework until late, which meant I was up until stupid o'clock (a bit like right now hmmm).

Despite all those side tracks I managed to catch up and this week has been running smoothly.  I love it when my house is clean as I feel so much more in control, its that whole internal reflecting external thing....or is it the other way around? I do have some paperwork to catch up on but I will get there.

Well that's it for now....I will post a blog soon with some rewards that I will be giving myself, I'm still not 100% sure on what they are but I have some doozie ideas.  Will I be game enough to follow through?  That is the question.  Has that sparked your interest?  Make sure you stay tuned for more!

Thanks for reading and for the support, its means heaps.  MWAH XOX

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I welcome all messages and comments that are positive and encouraging. If however you do have some criticism please make sure that it is constructive rather than destructive. Much Love, Light and Peace XOXO Tash!