Opening my mind, my heart, to something new....

Opening my mind

Opening my heart

To something new

Now before I continue I should probably say that the concept of GOD is not totally new to me, I have in the past had several in depth conversations with theology teachers (my ex husband is one of them) about the topic, I believe that Jesus was the very first light worker / healer, I've even attended church and Sunday school, although that was mostly because I loved school and wanted to go every day and well if it was on a Sunday even if it was about religion, I wasn't missing out. In saying all that I also nearly became a Hare Krishna too, Oh the memories - I love it when my Mum tells the stories.

I did however, have more faith in God up until meeting a person who claims to be a Christian and preaches words from the bible and attends church and has so many people believing lies but she is so hypercritical in her actions that my faith has been diminished. I have more of a higher standard of morals in my little toe than she has in her entire so called Christian body and yet I am apparently ungodly because I do not go to church and pretend to be someone I am not. Then again I also don't allow my child to be repeatedly traumatized in the most despicable of ways and yet turns a blind eye to it all - GRRRRR she makes me so mad, it is any wonder I question if the GOD they speak of truly exists?  I guess the fact that I am unforgiving towards her and the ones who hurt a person I love deeply makes me unchristian but that I can deal with.

Anyway, despite that little spat, I do actually hold a belief of my own, although I would describe my belief in God/Goddess as more of a 'Spiritual' belief, drawing bits from my Maori culture, Shamanism, Paganism, Buddhism and other 'new age' areas; for a lack of a much better word as I really do not like the stereo typical stigma connected with it. I also think that if we were to strip back all the dogma associated with religion that we may actually believe in the same thing, although in a different concept of it.

Recently I told my partner that I believed him to be very 'close minded' with regards to delving deeper into what I believe and making a judgment based upon a preconceived notion. This I think is in part due his beliefs being something he grew up with so is an ingrained part of him, also because he studied it at university (in order to question and reaffirm what he believes) but mostly because of his past manipulative and narcissistic partners doing. Actually, when we first starting 'hanging out' together he believed that our difference of opinion in 'our faith' would be a point of no return AND yet here we are, crazily in love and very honest and open with each other and both with differing and yet somewhat the sames views on God. 

As fate (synchronicity) would have it, I stumbled across an awesomely colourful site (HERE is the link for you to check it out yourself) that just so happened to have uploaded a 'Scripture Writing Plan'.

What is a Scripture Writing Plan? Well from what I can gather its a guide to reading passages of the bible - which surprisingly I do actually own as I was given it as a gift from my Dad's neighbor when I was 10 and never felt that I could/should get rid of it; despite only really flicking through the pages and not really being open to reading it....because let's face it, really good stories can be written by anyone right? It's just a glorified fiction novel? Hmmm, Maybe, Maybe not - I am about to find out and put my cynicism to the test - ooh I ran off track again ummm what was I saying? Oh yeah reading passages from the bible, writing them out and reflecting on what they mean to you and in doing so it helps understand and gain a better knowledge and connection / relationship with..., yes you guessed it GOD!

As I called my partner out on his 'close mindedness' I thought hmmm, perhaps he is reflecting something within myself and so in order not to be hypercritical, I have decided to give this scripture thing a go (with his loving support) in order to allow myself to be open to what he believes God to be? In return, he is going to be open to my 'spiritual' interpretation.

I don't know yet whether I will be sharing it here or not, I most probably will though as blogging seems to be keeping me sane and gives me something to do when I have a million thoughts running around in my head. Who knows maybe you will find it interesting, maybe you wont and really it doesn't matter because this is my journey towards knowing God - well the one that is spoken about in the bible anyway.

One of my fav songs - I thought it was appropriate!