August 2018

Month 8 of 12...recap!

1st - Holy frog shizzle...its August! You know what that means for us here in the southern hemisphere yeah...only 1 more month of winter whoo hoo! I don't know about you but it seriously feels like the year has just swished past, albeit jam packed full with a smorgasbord of all its offerings from the ups, downs and everything in between - which reminds me, I need to update my blog (Hahaha better late than never right?). Anyway peoples, its a glorious day and its my last day off before starting back at work tomorrow doing that which I have worked hard to achieve and love passionately SO I am going to go and make the most of it. 

Ok so today I stayed in my pjs and did a whole lot of "Sweet FA". Yes, my never ending mumma-wifey-student-businessowner to-do-list was neglected for the day and thats A-Okay with me!

**Stillness soothes my soul**

Imbolc blessings - Imbolc is the celebration of all that is fresh and new with the imminent arrival of spring.  As well as planting seeds into the earths soil to be nurtured for growth, now is also a great time to focus on your own inner seeds; your dreams, directions, desires.  Allow this time of thawing to inspire and motivate you to look at the world with fresh new eyes, taking the time to give thanks that the warmth is returning to the earth.  Love, Light and Peace to all at this time of awakening.

**I have the power to manifest my dreams**

2nd - My favourite part of the day is snuggling on our bed chatting about this that or the other. I love my family to pieces even if somedays they do drive me to the brink of insanity.

**I am filled with happiness, gratitude and contentment**

3rd - We got another curve ball thrown our way today that totally knocked me off kilter for a little while...okay so I'm still not quite back in the game BUT I, we will work it out! We just need to process it mentally to release fear, and have faith that all is as it is meant to be!

**I handle lifes challenges with effortless ease**

5th - My kid sister is 37 today!

The night she was born, 7 year old me prayed over and over for a little sister. Ofcourse at stages during my early teens I can remember thinking 'why, oh why did I pray for you!' - you know all the usual joys of having a younger sibling. There is no doubt that for the most part we are Felix and Oscar (the odd couple). But there are moments of resonance where duality no longer exists - a bond that only sisters can share. So, as I sit here now as an adult reflecting upon our times together during her 37 years around the sun, I give my eternal gratitude that my prayer was answered!

Happy birthday Kiddo, may your prayers (wishes) today and forever more also be heard and answered.

13th - Pottered about in the garden today.

**I am thankful for the beauty that surrounds me**

14th - I am having surgery tomorrow. Healing prayers and thoughts for its success and a restful (quick) recovery would be most appreciated.

**All is as it is meant to be**

22nd - Its been 1 week today since my nose job haha well an inside one anyway...deviated septum, sinuses and a whole heap of other complicationed otolaryngological stuff. Whilst I feel and look a little better than yesterday and a little more than the day before that, etc etc, I will be honest and say I still don't feel amazing but baby steps are okay! I see the surgeon on Friday...fingers crossed its a good review. Whilst I still can't breathe properly, I am confident that once the swelling goes down the improvement will be phenomenal. 

**My body is constantly healing**

24th - There is method in the madness and madness in the method! Whether its the path full of potholes or the one thats smooth rolling, at the end of the day it matters only that you are actually moving forward toward the desired outcome! Check out the view along the way, stop to refuel if needed, question the route you are on, kick a flat tyre or two to get out the frustration but most of all keep your eye on the prize!

**I trust the process**

25th - Saw surgeon today - it f#=king hurt like hell! Gotta go back in 3 weeks. He pulled out some stitches and a bloody booger that was like 2ft long...his words "wow thats an impressive booger" haha...mind you with the forceps up as far as they were I'm not sure it wasn't my brain stem. It will take a good month for swelling to fully come down and nasal bones to heal but I am healing well and bruising is fading...mood is still low but its okay to not be okay, bp is also still low which isn't helping me feel any less blergh. Headaches, face and teeth throb is still horrible but he said thats normal from surgery trauma...little pills make it bearable. As much as I don't like taking them I also know that sleepless nights due to pain prolongs the healing process and I need to be on my feet and fighting fit by mid Sept, so on that note goodnight!

26th - Spent the weekend in bed...boys set up camp next to me!  I love those moments of togetherness so much!

27th - Whilst yes, there is an abundance of blessings in my life. Yes there is most likely someone out there in this big wide world wishing they had even a smidge of the good fortune I am so honoured to have. And yes sadly there is probably, a poor bugger suffering far greater adversity than I. I feel like I am living on quicksand! I have fought against it for weeks now, keeping it tucked inside the pandoras box within and there is a part of me that feels I need to keep wearing the mask, keep hiding the overwhleming emotion that feels like it might devour me. But, I know that in order to move forward I must surrender to that which isn't all moonbeams and unicorn farts and truly allow myself to feel, to express, to release that which will only cause more dis-ease if suppressed. Despite the fact that it is a dense, dark heavy load to bear!  So here I am being ultra real and admitting to myself that I'm not 100% okay and thats A-okay! I will not unpack and stay here! I have not lost focus of my gratitude, faith or hope, I am just simply too exhausted to pretend right now!

Whilst I can count way more than only one, my GOOD for today is sucking it up, pushing through the blergh haze and getting the house back to where I like it. I must say though that Mark did okay at staying on top of it all considering he's unwell but it was just missing that final touch...besides, looking after the boys really is the main thing and at that he gets an A+. Anyway in doing this simple thing I know it will help to clear my mind.

**I acknowledge the abundance of good in each day**

28th - Tonight we were watching a movie and there was a scene in it where they were having a "Math Debate". Ofcourse I found it funny and said outloud 'Hehehe they are mathdebating". Ace sitting beside me puts his hand on his head, shakes it and says disapprovingly with a smirk "'Mum!'. I'm like "But...but...its funny". We then both start laughing. Jazz looks up from his laptop and asks what's funny. In unison Ace and I answer "Just something silly mate, don't worry about it", which makes us giggle even more. I think what makes it funnier for me is that it was a Christian movie...hmmm might have to say some Hail Marys now!

29th - TWO weeks post op today. Whilst mentally I will admit that I'm not 100% okay, I am happy with my physical healing. Yep, its still tender, yep the swelling hasn't come all the way down, yep part of my face is still a bit numb...I can give a small smile now though and yep my BP is still low which makes me feel light headed, nauseous and just generally weak and icky (seeing GP today) BUT there has been progress and that is awesome.

**I believe in my ability to heal and have the patience needed to recover fully**

31st - It is the last day of winter here in the Southern Hemisphere. Whilst I do enjoy the snuggles, hot chocolate, cosy socks, warm scarves and hoodies that is all part of winter, I am so excited at the thought of warmer days and nights ahead AND the fact that summer is getting closer!

My little man Jazz (Mr. 13) was blessed to see snow for the very first time a few weeks ago. When asked what it was like his response was "Bloody cold!"...haha this coming from the kid who has worn shorts to school everyday throughout winter.

Hopefully next year we will be able to take Ace to experience the snow also. Although he's a bit more like his Mumma and prefers the warmth, he is super keen to see it and maybe even try snow boarding...lord help me!

And thats a wrap for month 8 of 12...stay tuned for more recaps!