March came and went...

If you are an avid reader of this blog then you have probably been thinking..."she's behind again", and waiting ever so patiently for an update. Well the wait is over, and I am here to fill you in on all the raw and unscripted ups, downs, and inbetweens that make up my life!

Monday 4th 

UNI started for 2019

And so begins the 3rd and final year of my Bachelor of Complementary Medicine degree. Having 3 months off has been wonderful, but, it takes a while for the study mojo to get sparked up again let me tell you! Gotta say, I am ultra excited to be so close to the finish line...well, of this one anyway - lets not think about the 5 years ahead of me for part B just yet! I do have a feeling that this year is going to be full on though, but I only have 4 subjects to complete, so thats a little bit of pressure off! It also helps knowing I'm not alone and that the sanity girls are only a PM away...I love our daily chit chat! Be sure to buckle up as I recon we are in for one heck of ride ahead!

Thursday 7th 

Ace got NITS..cue major panic attack, delousing of his hair, checking of our hair and an all night cleaning spree! OMG like seriously, I am not joking about panic attack F*%?!!!

Friday 8th

Holy heck what a day!

Early morning dental appointment for Mark...the first of what we find out will be many *sigh*. Diabetes is NOT friendly to ones teeth...mind you a referral was sent in July last year! I guess thats the public health system for ya hey! Still better than that of other countries, so I can't really complain too much, it's just mega frustrating watching your husband in pain for so long, and growing more and more self conscious...yes, men struggle with that too! 

Looking cool in his shades! 

Then it was home to work before heading out again for my mammogram/ultra sound appointment (I did tell you I found another lump yeah?), which took WAY longer than expected as they didn't have my hospital history GRRR...get on the same bloody page people! 

After that it was a quick stop at shops before heading home to throw on some glad rags ready to head out to celebrate one of my beautiful besties birthday.

Scrub up okay for an old bat? 

But...not before dropping the boys off to Glenns for the weekend and then driving across to Sunbury in peak hour traffic...talk about here there and everywhere today! 

Anyway, it was an awesome way to round off a busy day. I had such a great time just sitting chatting, laughing and stuffing my face on yummy Mexican food, albeit way too much! At the start of the night I said to Bec "Don't you get a hat for your birthday here?", to which her reply was "Don't you dare, I'll walk out!". So, it came to the point where we were all just about done, and would all be leaving soon anyway...and, so I organised to get her a hat hahaha! It's all in the timing LOL!

Love ya Baby Girl!

Saturday 9th

For months and months, maybe even 'years', we have been planning on having a garage sale but kept setting a date and then cancelling it due to not being organised enough. Anyway, because we had planned on a garage sale, all the stuff we (and Mum) have no longer needed/wanted has been placed willy-nilly out into said garage. As you can imagine, it was starting to look like a bomb had exploded and was beginning to burst at the seams. So, I decided this weekend (given Monday was Labour Day holiday) was as good a time as any to get in there and start sorting through it!

What started out as 'just sorting through and tidying', ended up being way more! I took photos of EVERYTHING and posted them on facebook in an ONLINE GARAGE SALE! Holy crap, the beeping from messages and comments was insane, but ultra effective! Before we knew it the items were being sold and our garage was well and truly getting cleared.

NOTE: For those thinking of doing it, whilst a good way to rid of 'stuff' and to make some money in the process, it is ultra time consuming! The photos, the uploading, the answering of comments and messages, the putting aside of items until they get picked up, the following up of people that didn't pick up items and then reposting because they have changed their mind, or just don't bother replying. Not something I would do again in a hurry!

Sunday 10th

As we were on a roll we figured that since we were going to be out there sorting again we may as well advertise that people could come and look through - an impromptu garage sale if you will. We ended up calling it quits early due to a sudden change in the weather. It wasn't completely a wasted day as I got to start sorting through the photography and gym gear (I have to add here that as much as there was a part of me that was a little sad at letting go of things that were a part of my life for so long, it also felt awesome to detach from it) AND we learnt that we needed better advertising for a garage sale to work properly AND that things needed to be displayed and not in boxes!

With that being said, we decided to actually commit and set a proper date...Saturday April 13th! Little did we know, that the garage sale was about to get alot more stuff added to it and the garage that we sorted, was about to become full yet again!

Monday 11th

I decided it was time to do a clothes cull, so everything was pulled out of my drawers and the wardrobe and put on the spare bed for me to sort through. I didn't get much done to be honest, its very hard to try on clothes to see if they fit properly when your belly has distended to that of a 6 month pregnant woman, and you are worried that everything will get blood stained - sorry TMI I know, but its real! TTOTM sucks!

Tuesday 12th

Weather change = A sick me! So...all the clothes that I pulled out of my wardrobe yesterday to sort through, are still sitting there, messing with my head! 

Lucky I can just close the spare room door!

Wednesday 13th

Work cancelled and a day of rest for me! Well physical rest anyway, having to cancel work means I stress over finances and feel like I am letting the team and all my clients down. Add to that the fact that there are clothes yet to be sorted which equals MESS!

Today was our 4 years of us becoming a proper couple and Mark no longer sleeping on the couch anniversary. As much as milestones are nice to look back on and celebrate (if and when we remember - to be honest both of us forgot this one until a week later) everyday together is a true blessing. 

Thursday 14th

Off to docs...needed to go for results anyway.

Viral Infection, swollen glands, fluid in ears, mild fever, lungs sound wheezy...Awesome NOT, I certainly do not do things by halves! Need to book in for a COPD test when I feel better, but for now REST! Sounds silly, but once the doctor actually confirmed I was sick, I felt less guilty resting.

Hot soup is always good when you are sick! 

As for the results...

I have abnormal cells in the cervix so I need a pelvic ultra sound - joy of joys! Mammogram shows changes around the biopsy site and a definite new lump, but as it does not look suspicious and I am going to see surgeon in May its just a matter of waiting, and ofcourse checking for any further changes. Freaking heck...no real answers, just more waiting...that really helps the anxiety NOT!

I cancelled my MHFA workshop for the weekend, spewing too as I was really looking forward to gaining the extra qualification. I've completed the certificiate part online but just need to do the face to face. Hopefully I will do that by the end of the year but at the moment I just can't push through.

Oh and we also had to do a retreatment of hair! Aces hair is so long so it takes ages!!! He is not keen on tying it back as he gets picked on at school, but hopefully knowing now how much me combing through it hurts, he will ignore them (easier said than done, I understand that). Oh gosh, how dirty they make me feel and yet, I know, I know, they like 'clean' hair! Seriously though, even just writing about it makes me feel like I have bugs crawling under my skin!

Friday 15th

Another dental appointment for Marky, poor bugger had a couple of teeth pulled OUCH. He is so self conscious of his smile, but I still think he is ultra handsome - Collingwood smile and all! Anyway as they were worried he may hypo, I needed to be there SO I took my pillows and blankets and rested in the car...yep I even stayed in my PJS LOL!

Monday 18th 

Back on my feet and back to work!

Tuesday 19th

Today was supposed to be my study day, but I decided to declutter/clean/rearrange our bedroom instead. Clothes however, are still sitting in the spare room LOL! 

If you don't already know...when I am anxious, worried, stressed, angry etc..I clean! It helps me to process my thoughts and my emotions.

Before...well kinda, I didn't get a proper before pic darn it! 

BEFORE: The above photo isn't exactly a proper before representation, that is more a before-before-before one LOL. Replace rocking chair with a big pink antique chair (you will see what I mean in after photo). Add another display cabinet on top of the tallboy with a heap more trinkety things on it. And, at the end of the bed was two cube boxes on top of each other with the TV etc in it. Yes, I know, not good sleep hygiene BUT we ensure it is switched off to sleep and I personally like having some alone time every now and then to watch 'chick flicks'. Oh we also had like an old tin chest in there too next to the tallboy, which had all of Marks bits and pieces in it.

Also, I just felt like I needed a change...and so I certainly made one!

After - we are absolutely loving our space right now!

AFTER: I have made a few adjustments since taking these pics. One of them is removing the red artwork and putting up a tram carriage luggage rack which has hat boxes on it. 

Another is putting up black block out curtains. And the final change was made to the piece hanging above the bed as I found a few other wedding things to add to it. 

Speaking of such...one of my favourite things in our room, is that we used the driftwood stick we picked up on one of our travels as the frame for our over the bed art piece. I love having our dream catchers and wedding charms displayed. How blessed we feel laying here looking up at all these beautiful treasures gifted to us by our precious friends. Oooh did you know that in 1 month and 2 days time it will be our first wedding anniversary...makes having these on display even more spesh!

I also love that we have been able to proudly display one of our wedding signs. I left space on each side to eventually print up and hang a couple of wedding pics, which I think will finish off the space perfectly!

This is the sign!

Photo by JJ Photography

Anyway, as is always the case after a mad cleaning frenzy in one room, the rest of the house ends up looking like a bomb exploded...more cleaning ahead!

Thursday 21st

Went for a pelvic ultra sound this morning. Had to drink a shit tonne of water before hand and hold it in for an hour before the appointment. Ofcourse on the way there my darling hubster hit every bloody pothole...well it felt that way at least. By the time we got to the radiographers I seriously thought I was going to leave a trail of wee behind me. Luckily we didn't have long to wait AND they let me go and let a little bit out, which was good but so ultra hard to stop at the same time, I mean how do you shut the flood gates when the waterfall is running rapidly - you get my drift. Thankfully it didn't take too long for her to do both external and internal exam, and then I was able to pee freely and head home to work.

And because the day wasn't already busy enough, I also had to go into bloody centrelink for a random review. OMG like seriously, such a pain in the arse, especially when I keep them updated about everything. It went smoothly really, I guess it helped that I was ultra organised and had all the paperwork (plus some) on hand with me. I also made sure to check my attitude before going in, ensuring I was happy and cooperative and not cranky LOL, hard to do when dealing with centerlink! Whist we were there we also got our medicare cards changed to reflect our NEW family, so that was a bonus! Still have to change our name though BUT I need to finalise my citizenship stuff before that can be done (the lack of $ is preventing that from happening)!

Oh, guess who shared her germs, yep Marky caught my virus...I knew I should of sent him to the couch!

Friday 22nd

Finally finished sorting through my clothes, and it is safe to say I was indeed RUTHLESS!

All off to the opshop! AND there are some for the garage sale!

I even threw away my 'comfort' jacket!

Saturday 23rd 

When the boys came home from school on Tuesday and saw our room, this happened...

1. I love that they acknowledge the work we put in!

2. We must be doing something right if teenage boys still want to have sleepovers with their folks! 

3. I should have known they'd want to do theirs too...but which one first and how to arrange it, and when? Definitely wasn't Tuesday night like Jazz was hoping...he must think I'm supermum!

So the question of WHEN? was TODAY! And the other question of which one first...was for some ridiculously stupid reason...both at the same time! I am sucker for punishment OMG, talk about making things hard for myself!

What this meant for me...is that everything (well except the furniture that stayed in the room) got pulled out of the room so that I had a blank canvas to work with. And, so its easier to clean the walls, skirtings, carpet, windows...you know a good deep clean rather than the usual general tidy - spot clean!

So essentially I made more mess in the process = major headF*#$

Tuesday 26th

I finally finished the boys rooms - PHEW! They look and feel much better. Again, I forgot to take a before pic which is really annoying, but I was so uni focused on just getting them done.

It took a little longer than expected as not only did we put up shelves for their name plates (the ends of their old racing car beds on their first skate boards), we also turned our old computer cupboard into a wardrobe for Aces room. The hinges proved to be a right royal pain in the backside!

Jazz's Room

Ace's Room 

WAS a computer cupboard - NOW a wardrobe 

The boys rocks collected on our adventures - LOVE! 

Wednesday 27th

Back to the quack today for some more results. Cancer HPV Screen was clear thank fuck for that BUT they don't know why they cells are abnormal and they said ultra sound was inconsistent due to an obstruction WTF does that mean? Anyway, I have been referred on to a specialist in Ballarat...how long the wait will be is anyones guess. How long is a piece of string?

We had Marks endocrinologist appointment today with the new specialist, and we both really like him...also a bonus that he is in Melton and all on Medicare!

RIP Jodie

Today I heard that an old flame of mine passed away. It hit me hard! I think part of the grief comes from not reaching out more and staying in touch. I guess that happens when you just decide to let go so you can both move on. I pulled out all of my keepsakes I had of her tonight (yes I kept them, I'm a sentimental softie). Her teddy bear with her name on it; she has (had) my name bear, her old perfume bottle, every single note/letter she ever wrote me, photos of the two of us. So many memories, both good and not so good. There is no denying we loved each other, it just wasn't enough...for me anyway - it was always me that couldn't give all of myself to her the way she did with me. Life was so different back then, so intense, such a big part of my existence and just like that it all changed. I never stopped loving her though and I never will.

A while back we used to message each other on facebook. During one of those times she asked when I was coming to visit, and as always despite me saying I thought about it, it just never became a reality.

If only I could turn back time and jump on that plane, rather than waiting till 2037 thinking that she would still be here!

Hey you! "Come what may" we will meet again! Rest in peace Jodie. Who are we kidding though yeah, you will be up there running a muck beaming your beautiful smile at everyone and making hearts melt, you beautiful soul YOU!

I wrote this for her a while back...

Thursday 28th 

And the decluttering/Cleaning Spree continues...

I decided to swap the study and spare room around, which meant shit was everywhere!

Uni is full on so I should be studying BUT I am doing my forum posts on my breaks so thats something.

I have insomnia really badly at the moment too, there is so much on my mind and the house being turned upside down is not helping.

Friday 29th

We were supposed to be going out to a community festival tonight but there are fires nearby and the wind is really strong, so we aren't going. I'm glad about that as I am in a really shitty head space right now....I just want to finish my house which is taking ages because I am being RUTHLESS!

I think Mum finally got it today when she popped in and saw shit everywhere. I guess its one thing to explain it over the phone and another to actually see it for yourself. My bestie also popped over tonight. I sent her a message before coming to say that the house looks like a bomb hit, but even her reaction was like 'Holy Shit' when she walked in LOL.

Both of them were amazed at the amount of 'STUFF' and wondered where it all came from. That my friends is what you call amazing tetris skills...clutter gets well hidden...good on one hand, not on another!

Sunday 31st

It has been a huge task but I finally have my office all done.

I got rid of 3 garbage bags full of paper and 4 boxes of old treasures! Feeling much more inspired to write my essays for my two uni assessments due in the next two weeks! 

Next on the list is the spare room/sitting room! 

P.S. Sorry about the change in tense from past to present...this catch up bizo is a little tricky, especially when I had written bits and bobs along the way. Anywho, stay tuned as April catch up will be posted soon(ish)!