Hello February 2020

If you follow me on facey or insta, you would know that on Saturday 1st after sitting and thinking about this and that, I wrote the following...

"We haven't had the smoothest of starts to the year with January certainly throwing some challenging curve balls from start to end BUT as the saying goes 'it could be worse', right!?!". 

Now, despite the fact that yes we did all manage to just roll with everything that the past month thew at us (which is indeed pretty darn awesome), it did not mean that I was hoping for more of the same in February!

This year was supposed to be all about my boob operation...that is/needs to be where my focus goes, not here there and every bloody where else (my family the exception obviously). 

Ain't that the truth!

ANYWAY...As I write this post it is Saturday the 8th, so here is a little bit of catch up!

Plumbing up the s%@&! 

Whilst the real estate did in fact respond to my SOS call, and indeed sent a plumber out to us first thing the next morning (aka the 1st), he only applied a band aid (seems to the theme of our year). So, as he was unable to complete the job until approval and other red tape, for the past week we have had no cold water to the main house, and also no inside toilet!

Now don't get me wrong, we are so ultra lucky that we have a shower and a toilet in the bungalow out the back BUT...when you have had Gastro/IBS symptoms full on for the past week, having to run that little bit further (sometimes in the rain and the dark) really is not helpful. Again, could be worse hey...I mean we are truly blessed that we have plumbing at all!

Missing the fun!

I missed out on going to the local car show with my family on Sunday 2nd as I wasn't well, instead I stayed home alone yet again! Yes, I am feeling sad and sorry for myself because even though many would think that alone time without the hubby and kids is the best thing ever, I actually like making memories with my family. Don't get me wrong, alone time is also great but this is about the bigger picture and in this case, its missing the fun!

On a positive though, I was ultra thankful that Damo and Jess (Glenn's neighbour's) caught up with them at the show. What was even more special, is that afterwards they took the boys to Masons Lane and kicked the footy around, which the boys loved!

Progress...Milestone! 

Mia was able stay overnight with us for the very first time on Saturday 1st, which was a very special first milestone. And if I am completely honest, it also makes life a little less hectic as it means we don't have to try and jam pack so much into the day within the time frame that also includes two hours of driving to pick her up, bring her here, drive her home and then drive back home. 

Oh, and just for the record, whilst I may be progressive in some things, I can assure you that Ace and Mia were indeed in separate bedrooms!

Work...What work?!?

Since I haven't been booked in for my boob op yet (I will talk about that more later) I had planned to go back to work this week. BUT, given the relapse, I once again needed to cancel. 

This sucks for a couple of reasons a) as I am sure I have mentioned before, I really dislike letting people down, and b) I was looking forward to earning some money to help us get back on track.

On a positive, it has meant that I have been available for the boys after school, able to catch up on this blog, and um...been able to stay on top of telling Mark what to do around the house? Hmmm, ok so maybe, just maybe, that is not a positive for him LOL!

Top Half!

Firstly, in a previous post I mentioned that the operation to have my boobs removed and then reconstructed would be in February; but IF there is emergency cancer patients then I would be pushed back. As it turns out, that IF indeed happened and I have been told that it will now more than likely be done in March. Again provided that there is no emergency cases.  No denying that it sucks, but to be completely real with ya, if it means that a life has possibly been saved by bumping me, I am totally okay with that.

I had an appointment scheduled with my risk management team and breast surgeons at .RMH on Tuesday 4th, but they called and said there was.no point attending until I had updated diagnostics done first.  Also, given that I am in the process of waiting to have them removed and haven't changed my mind about anything, there really isn't much need for the appointment.  Anyway, I was advised that someone would call and book me in for some more tests soon. As yet, no phone call!

I will just keep waiting patiently, and in the meantime hope like heck that whatever is going on with my gut sorts itself out, OR I get some answers so that the problem can be fixed! I really don't want to be needing to run to the loo during recovery!

Bottom Half!

In addition to waiting on my appointment for the top half, I am also still waiting on an appointment for the bottom half.  This one I think is frustrating me more than any of them because it was the specialist who told me I NEEDED to come back in JANUARY.  I mean, why say it and then not make it happen.

On top of that, since my last appointment in October a few changes have happened and I really want them addressed ASAP.

Things like the fact that the mirena was a flop and therefore didn't solve the initial problem it was used for.  In fact that problem has become worse than it originally was and so I want to get the hysterectomy paperwork sorted so that ball can start rolling (also another time bomb risk reducing measure).

I did briefly talk to my breast care nurse about the possibility of having both done at the same time, BUT she said given the complexity of the op already, it is best to do them separately. 

Another reason, is because I (and my GP) believe the cause of my pain and my bowel related issues is due to Bowel Endometriosis (BE).

Even though I am going in to have a gastroscopy and colonoscopy done this coming Monday the 10th February, BE is a condition that apparently can't be detected via those measures.  But, as we want to rule everything out, it is a necessary step!  Mind you, I am more than open to being wrong if it means an answer sooner rather than later.

Wanna know a positive?  My initial gastro/colonoscopy appointment was on the 10th of March but due to the recent relapse, even though they usually prefer things to settle down, they bumped me up.  Yay!  I'm not at all looking forward to drinking the goop stuff though, or the evacuation process.  I think I may set my bed up in the bungalow instead of trying to run from inside to out!

Generally!

I went to see my GP on Tuesday and was told that there wasn't really any more that could be done other than continuing to address the symptoms until the tests are done *SIGH*.

On a plus though, I am lucky to have a GP that works in an integrative way and embraces natural methods such as; just allowing things to run their course rather than suppressing them.  Mind you, I really would of liked to be able to take a magic pill to stop the poop...I would of even been happy to drink the cornflour water, but alas letting it just flow is/was (finally got a reprieve) best, this I know!

I am also blessed that she is open to me taking supplements as considering the amount of prescription drugs going through my system at the moment, plus the fact that our nutrition has not been as 'on point' as it normally is during the school term (yes, I admit it, I get lazy on the holidays) they will be ultra beneficial in providing gut support.  A huge thank you to the lovely Sonja for setting me up with these beauties.

Done biting my tongue!

The boys are with us again this weekend, which truly is our gain and their fathers loss!

What shits me most about it though, is that if the kids had of done something terrible to warrant it, or if I was a terrible person to deal with and made co-parenting a living nightmare, then it would be understandable.  BUT, to not make ANY contact with your kids because you have chosen to be with a woman who HIT your son, who DISRESPECTED your sons boundaries and who was quite happy to just HIDE away in the dark while you were passed out cold for over an hour...makes no sense to me what so ever!

Seriously, when you have already lost one child and will never ever again get an opportunity to make things right with them, wouldn't you make more of an effort this time around!?!

Honestly, if he doesn't pull his head out of his arse soon and reach out to his kids, it will again be too late!

I am done making excuses for him, done being a sucker!

Conclusion...

And I think that pretty much brings us up to date with things huh?  Not ultra exciting but it is what it is!

Jazz stayed home with us last night whilst Ace, Zac and Louis went to empire, then came back here to stay the night.  This morning (well more like early afternoon) the four of them went off exploring, and now its just the four of us home.

Ace is cleaning his room (he's a good egg really) , Jazz is on his xbox (surprise surprise), Mark is hanging washing on the line and I am typing this whilst waiting on my Choc Banana Bread to cook.

Tonight I really want to get the floors vac'd and mopped and our weekly/fortnightly food menu sorted so that I can do some online shopping (or do I go to Aldi tomorrow because I know its cheaper, but then that means I have to go out in public and deal with people and well...oh its a hard decision). 

No wait...Uni Limbo!

I just remembered that I forgot to talk about feeling like I'm in limbo.  I know I have said that in the past and my sister said something that helped, but of course I've had a senior moment and i can't remember what it was.

I've told you that I finished my first degree (Bachelor of Complementary Medicine), with a grade point average of 6.5 thank you very much (between a Distinction and a High Distinctiond if you were wondering what it meant).  But, did I mention that the graduation ceremony is going to be in May 2020?

As for the next degree, which is approximately 40% complete, I am yet to re-enrol as I don't want to drop out mid subject because of the op!  The other thing is that I don't know if I will really be up to studying straight after the op and whether it will be wise to write essays when high on morphine (could prove interesting LOL).  Also, I will be needing to do quite a few subjects on campus for this next degree, so again I need to be 100% on my feet.  The plan was initially to go on campus during the summer/daylight savings months and do online subjects for the others, but as the saying goes "even the best laid plans, come unstuck".

Take two...

Okay, I think that's it now.

This is me sending LLP out into the universe!

xo Me :)

True That - AMEN!