What the actual f@ck?

Yup...those were the exact words that I screamed out at around 8.00pm on Thursday January 2nd 2020! 

There I was standing in the laundry chatting with Mark as I sprayed stain remover on Jazz's new surf brand t-shirt (the teenagers played hide and seek and Jazz decided to climb onto the red tin shed roof hmm, hence the stain remover!) when WHAM, a major sharp pain in my lower abdomen (left hand side) had me doubled over in massive pain.  Whilst I have never actually experienced what it is like to be stabbed, I recon this feeling would come pretty close.  The pain was so sudden and so intense, starting in the front and radiating all the way through the side and into the back OUCH, OUCH, OUCHITY, OUCH!

Having experienced discomfort in the area when my (ultra heavy) menstrual cycle started just over a week before, which was relieved by using a heat pack, I decided to head to bed with a heat pack.  

Oh that reminds me...in my November blog, on Friday the 15th, I mentioned noticing a rash on my hips.  By the end of the following week said rash (pictured below - after it had started to settle) was over my entire body.  

After not being satisfied with my GP's diagnosis of it being a reaction to pollen due to hanging clothes on the line...

Side Note:  In trying to save money for Christmas/Ace's birthday gifts we decided to not use the clothes dryer and instead hang things on the line.  To be honest, it didn't really help with the festivities saving (we are on a set monthly plan).  THAT (saving for xmas/bday) was achieved by working my butt off - even on the days where the massage room was more like a sauna.  AND I admittedly also used after pay, which I know can be very dangerous but I had done budget projections and had it all figured out...well so I thought, life kind of had other ideas which this blog post will reveal.   Anyway, not using the dryer will make a difference to the overall total electricity expense that we use/owe, and it is also more beneficial for the environment at the same time PLUS I love the smell of line dried laundry.

I digressed, where was I?  oh yeah, I didn't believe it was pollen so I did some research of my own and came across research on mirena allergy.  Long story short on Wednesday the 27th November the mirena was urgently removed.  Within a day, the rash started to clear up.  Not only was it a relief to no longer feel like my skin was crawling with bugs, but it also felt so freeing to no longer feel like I was being constantly violated.  The GP recommended that I contact my Gynocologist, of which I let her know that I will be seeing them in January...or so I thought anyway!

Side Note:  After my last appointment in October, I was told to go back in for a review of the abnormal cells in January 2020, BUT when I tried to make the appointment reception said that they hadn't opened the books that far just yet and they will get back to me with my day/time. I am writing this on the 7th of February and despite calling and asking about the January appointment I am still waiting!  FRUSTRATED MUCH!

I digressed again!  Let's see where was I?  Oh yes, pain occurred so off to bed I went with a heat pack.  An hour later there was still no relief, so despite not really wanting to as I had planned on spending more time with my son (the birthday boy), and still had to run Mia home to Deer Park, I popped an endone thinking that it would at least take the edge off.

Another hour passed, but nope, no such luck on easing the pain.   

Insert a little pep talk from my dear husband here that went something like this...

"So, I know that you don't wan't to ruin your sons birthday BUT if this was me, you would insist that I go to the hospital and have it checked out".

He didn't need to say it twice, as by that stage the pain was over bearing and the tears were flowing.  

SO, we piled the kids into the car (if it was just the boys by themselves we would have probably left them home and checked in on them regularly, BUT its a whole different ball game when there is a young teenage girl thrown into the mix.  Please understand that it is not that we don't trust them BUT more about not putting them in a situation where that trust needs to be tested), and off to BM emergency we went.

Side Note:  A huge thank you to Mel for taking in the three kids for us so late at night, you truly were a blessing for us.

Thursday 2nd - Bacchus Marsh Emergency

I cannot fault the team in the Bacchus Marsh Emergency Department, they were truly amazing.  Upon seeing the amount of pain I was in they worked as quickly as possible to get me a bed so that I could be comfortable.  Bloods and obs were taken, doctor was called, and IV morphine plus anti-nausea medication was given...unfortunately it didn't help and the pain was still intense!

Ambulance

With the possibility of an Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm (triple A), Tumour/Rupture/Twisted Ovary, Kidney Stones, Gallbladder Rupture or Pancreatitis, the decision was made to call an ambulance and take me to hospital.  

Footscray, was full and only taking trauma cases. Ballarat, apparently didn't have the equipment needed if it was Triple A.   So, off to Sunshine we went (much to mine and my families disappoint given the not so great experience we had with Aces Appendix).  Thinking about it now, I can't remember why they didn't send me to Royal Melbourne!?!

The ambulance ride was so bumpy, but 17.5ml of IV morphine later and I could finally take a breath of relief.

Note:  I don't remember all the details about my stay in BM ER or the ambulance ride, but I can remember Mark making a joke about me flirting with ambulance guys, SO every time one of them would give me a shot of morphine, placing my hand on his knee to do so, I would giggle.

Anyway, we arrived at Sunshine Emergency and due to it being ultra busy, my trolley bed (along with quite a few others) was placed in the foyer to wait.  

Note:  Whilst I was flirting in the ambulance and just lying around in the foyer, Mark dropped the boys at Mapa's (yet again, her help was invaluable), Mia at home, and then waited patiently for me in the ER waiting room.

Sunshine Hospital

Friday 3rd 

The longer I waited the more and more the morphine high started to wear off and so by the time I finally got admitted in the ER the pain was back in full swing.

Not happy Jan...have I mentioned that not only does morphine make me vomit (hence, the anti nausea) it also make me all puffy!

My sweet man and I were finally reunited.  It sure has been a big few days!

I was moved to the wards in the early afternoon, that afternoon they sent me off for a CT scan.  No food and drink allowed just in case they need to operate!

Mark posted this on my facebook page...

"Hey everyone, Mark here.  Just letting you all know that around 8pm last night, Tash fell ill. After a couple of hours of being stubborn and not wanting to ruin Aces birthday, she finally agreed to go to the BM emergency. From there, she was rushed by ambulance to the Sunshine Hospital.  They are still not 100% sure what is wrong, but we are hopeful that the array of tests and scans done today will help narrow it down, so that best course of treatment can be determined.  After a sleepless night/day, they have thankfully managed to reduce her pain.  Your prayers and positive vibes would be greatly appreciated Xo".

Note:  Oh, SO today was supposed to be a family fun day at the BM Pool in celebration of Ace's birthday.  Mapa took the boys, but sadly they said it just wasn't the same without Mark and I there.  We were also meant to pick up Hosanna today but needed to cancel for obvious reasons.

Saturday 4th

Mark posted an update on my facebook page...

"Update 2 - Mark again! Letting you all know that my beautiful bride is still in Sunshine hospital, and unfortunately we still have no confirmed answers as to what exactly is going on. They are currently treating her for an A-typical case of pancreatitis, but she doesn't really fit the text book scenario, so they are a little baffled...trust my girl to throw them a doozie! She is booked in for another scan on Monday so hopefully they will know one way or the other then. In the meantime they are working to keep on top of the pain, ensure she is hydrated and trying to keep her blood sugar levels up.  Thank you all for your comments, messages, prayers and positive vibes. I have read them all to Tash and although she is feeling a little flat, she feels very blessed and is hanging in there".

Jazzy sent my owl in with Mark last night to keep me company.  Gotta say, it was so helpful...both a pillow and arm rest for needles.  Bless my boys little cotton socks, he is so thoughtful!  So they took me off the drip earlier today, then put me back on again, and now...

My blood sugar levels kept dropping to low 4's mmol/L which was making me feel shaky, light-headed and extra nauseated, so because the next lot of tests weren't able to happen until Monday they decided to let me eat and drink.  Unfortunately, not much stayed in but something is better than nothing.  No drip also seems to equal more tablets such as magnesium.

Sunday 5th 

Today was a rough day!  The doc changed my pain meds which made me really sick, and so they needed to add anti nausea meds. BUT the docs didn't add it to my chart and so the nurses couldn't give it to me until they were able to get hold of the doctors *blergh*.  I also put back on the drip again in preparation for my next lot of tests.

Monday 6th

Mark posted an update on my facebook page...

"Update 3!  Hey all, this is your favourite reporter Mark, giving you another update on my beautiful girl!  Apologies for not checking in yesterday, but sadly my girl had a rough day, with the pain meds giving her constant nausea and playing havoc with her blood pressure. Then,of course, in an attempt to control that by reducing her meds, the pain returned. Been a bit of a rollercoaster really.  The boys and I are doing okay, missing our Queen terribly, but we know she is where she needs to be right now to get better.  She'll be going for more tests at some stage today, so we have everything crossed that we will get answers. Once family are advised and everything processed, I'll be sure to post again.  As always, your comments and messages of love and support, along with positive vibes and prayers are treasured greatly".

I didn't get a pic but the boys came in on Saturday and visited, Mr Jazz brought me the yellow balloons to cheer me up.  Poor Acey is struggling with me being in Sunshine as it brings back too many trauma memories for him.

I had a rough night last night just couldn't get comfy and was in so much pain.

Oh today they sent me for an ultrasound (off drip), mind you I really feel like it was a waste of time because they didn't even look at the area where I am feeling the pain.  I understand referred pain and all, and I get that where they looked was in relation to my gallbladder/pancreas because of the elevated enzymes BUT I do not feel like they are listening and being thorough enough!  

Also I'm back on the drip again just in case the results show that they need to operate.

Another thing, TMI but you'll get over it...I can't poop!  Doc said probably because of the pain meds and so they are going to give me a softener med.

Today they moved me next door into a shared room with three other people, so this is now my view *humph*

Tuesday 7th

Mark posted an update on my facebook page...

"Update 4 (Day 5).  This is your favourite reporter Mark, updating you from Sunshine hospital.  Tash saw the docs this morning and yesterdays ultrasound/tests gave no conclusive answers as to whats going on with her.  So, all they are really going on is her initial bloods, which showed that her pancreatic enzymes were elevated, hence why they have been and continue to treat for pancreatitis.  She is on strong meds for pain which creates nausea, so shes on another tab to deal with that, but as she said, better nausea than pain!  In other news, her inflammatory markers have come down, her blood sugar is stable and BP normal; all good signs!  The doc's plan is to manage pain, then send her home (when? who knows...she is hoping tomorrow) with a management plan and come back in a few weeks for a review.  To say that we are frustrated at not getting proper answers is an understatement, but we will keep investigating and make sure we get answers to fix the problem rather than just relying on the bandaid.  Tash is taking it in her stride graciously and trying to stay her positive self".

Sooo apparently there is acute and chronic pancreatitis, and it seems that MAYBE my acute episode may perhaps be a chronic disorder as they don't know why it happened and why I still have so much pain.  

The boys came in to visit today.  I miss them so much and love getting to see them, but its all feeling a little too much for me at the moment.

Oh still no poop!

Wednesday 8th

Docs came around this morning and told me that I'm still not going home yet as I haven't pooped.  So, they are going to give me something to help...an enema to be exact!  

Oh funniest thing.  I had this awesome young Asian nurse named Jess who told me what was going to happen re the whole poop thing.  Anyway, I say to her "Let's hope that your shift if over when they decide to do it, because it would be a pretty shitty job to do".  Anyway she seriously LOL'd.  Then after that, everytime she had to come back into our room for something she would look at me, say "good one...shitty job" and walk out laughing again.  

As it turns out, poor Jess was the one who indeed got the shitty job.  Which was way worse for me that it was for her, eeewww so gross!  Mind you, it wasn't as gross as what came out...biggest poop EVER!  Not completely empty, but better than before.

Well, I thought that was the case anyway, until the pain increased yet again!

Thursday 9th

This morning the team of docs plus a Mr. Miagee lookalike specialist came in to see me.  Mr. M asked if they had rechecked my enzyme levels, to which the answer was NO.  I knew this as I had asked them about it a couple of days earlier and was told that they only take it at the beginning...hmmmm obviously not.  Then, Mr. M asked if I had had any lower abdomen scans yet, to which the answer again was NO.  So, the breakfast that was in front of me was taken away and I was put back on the drip to fast.

Mark posted an update on my facebook page...

"Update 5 (Day 7).  This is Mark yet again reporting from the Sunshine Hospital...yep she is still unwell.  I will keep this short and sweet, just like my beautiful girl.  The pain has increased and so they are sending her for more tests which will be done either today or tomorrow.  Will let you know more when we know more!".

Friday 10th

So late last night one of the doctors came and told me that they were unable to find anything conclusive with the recent tests and that there really wasn't much else that they could do for me in hospital other than to manage my pain.  Given this, I was given the choice of staying in hospital OR going home with a pain management and follow up plan.  You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know what I chose to do!

Mark posted an update on my facebook page...

"Update 6 (Day 8) - This is a very happy Mark reporting to you from HOME!  Yes, our beautiful girl is back home again! However, whilst having her home is wonderful and we are so happy, we are unfortunately also a little frustrated and still concerned.  The bottom line is, they were unable to figure out what is going on with her and causing her pain; so they gave her the choice of staying at hospital or going home...are we really surprised that she'd choose to wave goodbye to the hospital?!  She has a management plan, however if she doesn't improve, they have said to go straight back in.  Praying that being at home will see much healing happen".

OFF TO THE GP I GO!

So the hospital suggested that I get referrals to a few specialists for some other tests to rule out some other possible diagnoses, so off to the doctor I went to get the ball rolling.

The GP was as baffled as I was with them not being able to figure out what the actual cause was, and was very empathetic to my concern of just using the pain meds as a bandaid BUT reminded me that it was important that I stay on top of the pain so to assist with the healing process.

So the specialists it was suggested that I see are:

Gynecologist - possibility of bowel endometriosis, more abnormal cell growth

Gastroenterologist - possibility of diverticulitis, ulcerative colitis, bowel cancer.

I asked why they couldn't have just done this in the hospital, and the answer was because it was a specialist area with long waiting lists.  Still seems odd to me but oh well, I'm out of hospital now and the ball is rolling.  

I am however feeling so frustrated at not knowing wtf is going on with me, but I have to breathe and trust that it will all be okay.

Sunday 12th

With hand on heart, I just wanted to say thank you to those who showed their love and support during my recent hospital adventure, it truly means the world to me.

Whilst I am still not feeling ultra awesome, I feel truly grateful for the abundance of blessings in my life.

Soooo what else can I tell you?  Oh yeah, the stains came out of Jazz's t-shirt = winning!

I will be sure to keep you all up to date with what ever the actual f@ck is going on with me!

In the meantime, sending LLP to you all xo