April Update

Our house is in isolation!

The only time we will be leaving is for groceries/neccesary items, medical appointments and maybe a slow stroll!

Please respect our decision and do not come to visit (as much as we miss ya'll heaps)!

I hope many, if not all of you are doing the same...we're all in this together!

I forgot to mention that last night (Tuesday 31st March), I watched a webinar presented by the Pink Hope organisation callec Coping With Stress During A Pandemic, for Cancer & High Risk Patients, with Dr. Leah Collins.  Anyway I found it ultra handy, and really resonated with the presenter, which is a good thing considering she is my new psychologist.

Here are some notes I took:

- Limit noise (media info sites on covid-19), times and when  they are checked. Eg.  Only watch the evening news for updates!

- Focus on what you can control rather than what you cant.  E.g.  We can control our own cleanliness.

- Acknowledge steps in place for saftey are positive rather than a negative eg. We are safe by staying home - not in prison and isolated.

3 TIPS
1.  Self compassion
2.  Mindfulness
3.  Cognitive Thought

Self compassion - towards self first, as you cannot fill from an empty cup.  Self kindness is important, as is openness - if stressed, acknowledge it but don't dwell on it!  Also remember, we are one globe as such suffering is a normal part of humanity, a shared experience therefore we are not isolated.

To be mindful, notice, pay attention, not over identify as meaningful, what really needs to be acknowledged or engaged?

Cognitive thinking errors are
polarised thoughts eg. black and white, where there are no grey shades. Catastropise  e.g..  making a mountain out of molehill.

Tip is to be more discerning.  Notice thinking and examine evidence of the thought.  If evidence is clear it allows us to not go down a rabbit hole of thinking which increases anxiety.

Notice but do not absorb e.g.  watch like clouds in the sky.

Stress equals the impact, whereas anxiety equals the thinking.

Heightened stress response affects the whole body all levels.  Exercise (editation, relaxation)  is the antidote for stress and anxiety. 

Be creative in behaviours that bring resilience to the mind e.g. what sparks joy?

Practice Diaphragmatic Breathing!
Inhale through nose

Hold breath
Exhale through mouth
Purposefully and intentionally do deep breathing, drawing diaphragm down whilst engaging in calming cognitive thought such as the Mantra "I am calm".

You don't always need a trigger to have a panic attack, sometimes they just happen.  Knowing tools to help is the key!

Wednesday 1st April

Well here we are, one whole week post my last op, and what a week it has been.

I have done some netflixing (Self Made - Madame CJ Walker is awesome), crocheting (one square a day LOL), lego sorting, jigsaw puzzling, colouring in, drinking yummy smoothies with all my essential goodness included, and ofcourse a whole lot of resting!

Colourful rug now fixed and used as chair cover

Squares for my colourful blanket, which is growing slowly! 

Vitamin C, Iron Mineral Essentials, Hemp Powder, slippery elm powder and then coconut water, spinach, avocado, celery, cucumber and raspberries and kiwifruit. 

The sunshine is soooo good! 

Earlier in the week my graft site started bleeding and I thought we needed another dash into the hospital, but nope, some verbal instructions over the phone from my health nurse and all fixed...out of sight, out of mind!

Graft site...upper right thigh 

Today I went into the RMH to the complex wound clinic where I had the heavy vac dressing swapped for a lighter one (and now, I no longer need to stress it will lose battery on me phew!). 

Thankfully all areas are healing really well and the road to recovery has begun!

Right leg, Left leg, Right Breast, Graft site upper right thigh, left breast with skin from graft site. 

There is still a long way to go I know that, but I am feeling confident that I can well and truly navigate the road ahead.

I had a telehealth appointment with my GP today.  A what you ask?  Well, its a doctors appointment over the phone.  Some clinics use video calls, some don't...this one was just via phone.

I had to do a mental health plan and also get my GP to fax off a referral to my new Breast cancer psychologist.  Hoping it will get that ball rolling soon as I think it will make a huge difference!

Thursday 2nd April

The smile says it all really, feeling so special and loved. Thank you A.M.L

Friday 3rd April

As we finally colour sorted all the lego, the rebuilding of all that I pulled apart last year in my cleaning frenzy (I will never ever be forgiven) could begin! Such a fun technology free family activity! Apart from having to sort through and find a tiny piece...all I can say is, imagine how hard if I didn't sort into colours!

Unfortunately my playing time was cut short when I kinda sorta got stuck on the floor under the table...thanks to my King for rescuing me. Needless to say I am now in bed drugged up...LOL funny AF! 

Saturday 4th April

Remember how I started taking Primulot to stop my period?  Well, coming off it had to happen eventually and we figured that since all wounds were now closed and healing nicely, now would be the best time.  Well Wednesday actually, now was the time it began.  Fingers crossed it will be over before next weeks appointment...talk about back with avengence eeewww!  It was the reminder I needed to follow up the Gyno!

Sunday 5th April 

Not a great deal to report at the moment; healing coming along slowly but surely, and I am resting ALOT although probably still not quite as much as I should be...I like to potter about adjusting and tinkering with this and that! I, am loving all this time at home with my fam! Mind you, I implemented the technology free hour so that we actually spend time together for more than a few seconds as we pass each other in the hallway on the way to the loo, or to the kitchen for snackage!

Teenagers + technology + dark bedroom = I am pretty much home alone! 

Whilst I am well aware of the gravity of the situation which impacts us all, I am choosing to focus on being positive, which for me is always centred around HOPE!

Despite this though, I do have moments where I 'worry' that winter and the colder months are fast approaching (I mean today is a bbbbrrrrr day) which means colds and flus!

However, as I believe that worry itself is a wasteful emotion; meaning that it doesn't achieve anything on its own, I like to get proactive and think of ways to tackle the 'what ifs'. 

For me, that means boosting the immunity with good clean nutrition (remembering I am all about balance, well more 80/20), supplements, meditating, praying, daily affirmations such as 'my body is healthy, my immunity is strong', good quality rest (quality over quantity is my jam), and then basically just ticking off my daily non-negotiables and ensuring my cup is full; which I've gotta say, this whole isolation thing is making a whole lot easier with no work, study, or running here there and everywhere. I do miss hugs from those I love though, but...modern technology is 'da bomb' and I'm not missing out on social interaction all together so that I believe makes a huge difference. 

Could you imagine isolation with no mod cons? Now, THAT would be a whole other level!

Whilst my sweetman ventured out today to do some shopping, I decided to have a mini spa day AKA: do a cleanse and put on a face and hair mask. I love that my boi joined me

Watch Video Diary

Tuesday 7th April 

Yesterday was six weeks post mastectomy op, and tomorrow will be two weeks post fix the patch that was just NQR! All in all recovery is going well! Yes even with the few hiccups I've had (open wounds, cocktail of infections, additional unexpected operations), I am so proud of my body for doing such a great healing job! Not to say that each and every day is a breeze, far from it actually. Even with the myriad of pain medications I am on, sometimes it feels like the pain just won't go away and it consumes me. Please don't misunderstand me, I am not complaining, and I certainly wouldn't have my boobs back, they were a ticking time bomb and the anxiety was just too much to deal with. I am just simply acknowledging that the pain is real, that there is a valid reason why it is there! This journey was never going to be easy, and even though I try my hardest to smile my way through it, I'm also about keeping it real with you. 

Tonight the pain is strong, so I'm giving myself some reiki, and just simply breathing! I've got this!

Wednesday 8th April

Today we went out on our weekly adventure into the RMH to the complex wound clinic. I must admit, even though we are quite calm through these crazy times, going into the hospital does makes us very nervous...thats why Mark runs my wheelchair from one set of lifts to the other as fast as he can whilst making car sounds.\

Despite last weeks graft site swab coming back positive for yet another infection, and a few areas not closing like they should, healing is progessing well! Vac dressing was removed from grafted foob on LHS and stitches were removed from both sides of my groin, and from under my right foob OUCHY! 

As I am highly sensitive to adhesive I was sent home with a tape test on my arm in the hopes that at least one will be okay for next week. 

Oh, I was also sent home wearing a very stylish and flattering tubigrip - NOT! It is surprisingly comfy though, very warm and helps with the pain.

Lastly, how amazing was that supermoon WOW.

P.S.  Plumber came out today to fix up blocked toilet aka sewerage smell in yard.  Still waiting on the other plumbing issues to be fixed though...the ones since February!

Thursday 9th April

Blisters under the dressing again - OUCH!

Our special hand made masks by the very talented Jess arrived in the mail today. Thank you so much clever lady xo

Friday 10th April

Today was Good Friday, which is usually spent watching the Royal Childrens Hospital Good Friday Appeal, which has been telecast every year since I can remember.  Today however, because of the whole Covid-19 stuff, it was not on WOW!

Saturday 11th April

Took the tape tests off. A little welty and so therefore itchy, but no blisters so thats a plus.

Sunday 12th April

The Easter Bunny visited us last night, and despite being big teenage boys now, Ace and Jazz woke up very excited!

Today we plan on doing a great deal of not much at all! 

Although, I must say the highlights of my day so far are: a) reading an easter book via duo to my niece and nephew, and, b) messenger video chat with my inlaws.

Wishing you all a very hoppy easter!

Monday 13th April

Today we picked up the newest member of our family...see next blog HERE!

Wednesday 15th April 

I attended my weekly RMH Complex Wound Clinic appointment this morning and am happy to report that healing has come along in leaps and bounds. Not to say that I am completely mended, but, I am closer than I have been. So much so that next weeks appointment is going to be via telehealth - whoo hoo!

The groin wounds are still seeping a little and so require steri-strips and tape (which I only slighly reacted too...basically no choice but to use them; nothing phenergan doesn't soothe) ensure they don't open. This also goes for the wound on the right inner thigh where the stitches were removed today. Sadly, until they have knitted together properly theres no crazy high kicks for me!

The graft site is healing awesomely, not quite completely there but the silver foam has really made a huge difference.

As for my foobies, apart from a couple of areas that are refusing to heal (I now have a special ointment to use), they are looking good. Until they heal though, physiotherapy exercises are restricted, as is my daily activity *sigh*, 

What else can I tell you...I am off all antibiotics and have reduced my pain meds. This has meant pain has increased at times, but it is nothing I can't handle and it has just meant making some adjustments to find the sweet spot.

I may be a little loco, but other than missing catching up with family and friends, iso life suits me perfectly. I love being at home with my family, and as for term two being done via remote learning, I've been wanting to home school since the boys started high school - I say that now but it may change...time will tell! Either way at least it got me reading again, Aces Year 10 text was quite an eye opener.

Watch Video Diary

Oh Marky did his usual run my wheel chair through the hospital making car sounds trick LOL!

P.S.  Took a detour on the way home - find out why HERE!

Thursday 16th April 

It has been 3 years since I lost my beautiful Tatty boy, and I miss him still 

Friday 17th April

Yesterday was our first day of term 2 (hospital on wednesday meant late start)! It was certainly a whole new learning experience thats for sure, and I am ultra proud of the boys for taking it in their stride (okay so hanging with kittens was used as an incentive...bribery at its finest)!

Not to say it was all smooth sailing as believe me, there were definitely moments of frustration; mostly at the technology aspect, hearing "I cant" before an attempt had been made (pet peeve), and at feeling like I needed to be cloned so both boys could have my assistance 100% of the time (remembering at school Jazz has an aide).

Despite the challenges mentioned, I am personally ultra glad that my boys are learning at home from a safe environment. And, it is cementing my desire that going forward homeschooling (for Ace especially) is something I truly want to consider.

Today is a new day and whilst I would love to stay in bed and snuggle with my fur babies its time to get my butt ready for school! Day 2 here we go!

And this sums up 'some' of our home schooling experience today - I never said patience was my strong suit. Here's to not going with the stubborn cranky pants point of view in the heat of the moment and throwing in the towel. And yep, despite the 'moment' I still believe it is a valid option to consider...perhaps I am completely nutso!

Monday 20th April 

OK, I wasn't going to share this and instead just deal with it offline, but what good is sharing only part of the journey right!?!

The past couple of days I have been really sore...I'm talking like ultra bloody ouchy...the tears to ones eyes kind!

My Breast care nurse has assured me that it is normal considering everything my body has been through (3 operations in 5 weeks), but I guess I just hadn't had the space to truly feel it, until now!

Despite the pain though, my body is doing an awesome job of healing.

Anyway, I just need to rest, breathe and let things be what they are, this will pass soon enough!

I had a telehealth appointment with my Gyno today...he is booking me in to have a scan of my ovaries, and then booking me in to get the paperwork started for a hysterectomy.

We all went for our flu injections today.  I thought that they were going to give them in the carpark, so stayed in my PJs BUT change of plans and we had to go in to the clinic instead...how embarrassing!

Tuesday 21st April 

Well we didn't do anything special to celebrate, all my fault as I wasn't up to it.  But, we have the rest of our lives to make up for it.

Two years ago,

We stood on the shore

And vowed from that day on

We'd be together forevermore

Two years later

We're still going strong

Despite moments that should have seen us just holding on

Like the chaos of iso

That could have seen life turn rotten

Instead its made us stronger 

Like woven threads of cotton 

And whilst we cannot celebrate 

At our significant site

I'm just ultra blessed 

To be here, at home with you, tonight.

Happy two years of married life my sweet man. Thank you for loving me.

Ilysmmsmttaynaf

My gorgeous girl, 

IT...HAS...BEEN...APPROX...

(Takes a deep breath!!)

Years: 2

Months: 24

Weeks: 104

Days: 731

Hours:17,544

Min:1,052,640

Secs:63,158,400

Since we both said "I do"!!

Happy anniversary, my beautiful bride!

Two years ago we said "I do",

On the gorgeous, golden sand.

Vows of deep devotion shared

And rings placed on our hands!

Seems sometimes, so "long ago"

Our life was simpler then. 

Days turned to weeks then into months

Glorious times that would never end.

But life would scarce have meaning,

If it didn't have some downs.

How could we tell what a smile was

If we didn't have some frowns!

So today I re-affirm my love

To you, my Deni Dear!

For us it has been quite a ride,

As we celebrate two years!

Lookin forward to at least 48 more!!

Wednesday 22nd April

Complex wound dressing appointment via telehealth...awkward much LOL!

Saturday 25th April

Be in as many photos with and without your kids as possible. Make 100s of embarrassing crazy home videos. You never know how much time is left and photos and videos allow your memory to live forever!

https://youtu.be/3Og9ZG_j4OE

If only the tears could bring you back!

Monday 27th April 

Its 9 weeks since the initial op! Healing is going really well, and I am feeling somewhat normal again. I say somewhat as I am still dealing with intense pain, fatigue and limited mobility, but all will improve over time.

I've been given the all clear to massage the scars and have noticed a calcified seroma in my left thigh, and left foob so I'm hoping that gentle massage will gradually break it down...will discuss it with surgeon too.

Have I told you that I'm having physiotherapy and psychology, both of which I feel are ultra beneficial?

Next week I see my surgical team and I'm hoping that the paperwork for the next phase can get underway...op won't be for a few months though.

Tuesday 28th April

Selfies with my furbabies!

Thursday 30th April 

So this week...this happened!

Yes, I'm a sucker for punishment; possibly 6 more years of it too, less if I take it on fulltime!

I don't officially start until June 1st AND I am only doing 1 subject as I'm still not 100% back to my usual crazy energetic self. 

But, I am super excited albeit a little nervous too...but meh, I've got this!