Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Start Week 4 12WBT

So today I decided it was time to get back on track and I am looking forward to a week of positivity, motivation, inspiration and dedication.

This was posted on Reach your best's facebook page this morning and I really loved it so thought I would share.

You can choose to make this week a great week! Here's 10 easy steps:

1. Smile (seriously, like all the time- to the point where people may question your mental health)

Cheesy enough for ya?

2. Stay positive (there is ALWAYS a upside to the downside. Look for it)

Out of limitation, comes creativity

3. Be grateful for all that you have (not disappointed for all that you want)

I have already achieved so much

5. Get outside (Yes it's cold but the sun will come out- chase it!)

I achieved this today =)

6. Take 5 minutes every day and just be still (don't roll your eyes you mama's out there. It can be done, find a way)


7. Eat to nuture your body this week (cut out the packaged crap and get back to basics. Your body will thank you by Friday)

I am happy to report that I am back on track and feeling much better for it.

8. Call a friend you haven't spoken to in forever (DO NOT TEXT THEM. Call them. Means more)

I called a family friend who sent Jazz a birthday card despite not seeing him in over 2 years. It really is the small gestures that mean the most.

9. Make a list of everything you want to achieve this week (and start ticking them off)

I managed to tick of 3 things from my list this week. Still got several more items to go but plans have been put in place to make them happen.

10. GET ACTIVE (30 minutes a day, that's all you need. Don't make excuses. Everyone has 24 hours a day. It's your choice what you do with them).

Today I didn't achieve this but I plan to do the Michelle Bridges DVD tomorrow.



Monday, June 25, 2012

Update with End WK 2 Weigh In Results

So as you can tell by the lack of blog posts, life has been crazy busy - and so here is a quick update.

Friday 15th June
I went to the Physio and was told to once again limit activity with my knee and to start using my stick again as it was overworked and the muscles had once again stopped responding.

Sunday 17th June
Bec and I did an 8am Bootcamp ran by Danyel of Reach your best health and fitness.  Despite having to modify the exercises I managed a 650 calorie burn and really enjoyed the session.  It runs for a total of 4 weeks.

 Photo Copyright: Simon Shaddock
Photo Copyright: Simon Shaddock


Instead of doing another workout to achieve my SSS of 1000 Calories I spent my time studying and managed to complete another module :)  

Tuesday 19th June
My baby boy turned 7 today and he asked to celebrate with dinner at McDonalds - I had the Sweet Chilli Seared Chicken Wrap,Garden Salad (with a little dressing) and a Diet Coke = 387 Calories


As well as a little slice of birthday cake (with a freddo frog) made by yours truly.


Wednesday 20th June

WEIGH IN DAY...


So as you can see I put on weight and despite an awesome body fat loss & muscle gain this really disappointed me and the self sabotage began with 2 tablespoons of left over chocolate frosting (which I threw in the bin the next day).


OVERALL RESULTS SO FAR....

Weight Loss - 1.1kgs
Body Fat Loss - 5.2%
Skeletal Muscle Gain - 1.1%

Thursday 23rd June
I saw my surgeon tonight and he thinks that he may have to remove the screws from my knee as they could be doing more harm than good.  He wants to leave them in for at least this year as he wants me to continue with physio to improve strength and he also needs the swelling to come down more before he can see what's really going on with it.

 Ignore the trees in the background LOL


Friday 22nd June
I cancelled my PT session today as my physio session was intense and my head was not in the game :(

Step 1 - Electrotherapy:  Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation (TENS). 

Step 2 - Dry Needling


My dry needling bruise

So as per last week the best thing for my leg right now is to REST it so that it can RECOVER.  

I have to say that this has really thrown me through a loop and has been the catalyst for me not training at all in 5 days and also one of the triggers for my self sabotage over the past 5 days :(

Another reason for my blahness (warning this contains a little too much information)

If you have been following my posts you might remember me saying that I had been experiencing stomach cramps and I wasn't sure whether or not it was hunger pains...well,  I no longer have to wonder as NO it's not hunger pain but pain due to ....

Thankfully after some intervention from a trusty little chocolate square (9 of them - 3 doses hmmm), the bag of concrete that was stuck in my gut no longer feels as big.

Anyway update complete :)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

12WBT Inspiration Board - Challenge 2

This weeks surprise challenge is to create an Inspiration board - a place to put photos, quotes, websites and basically anything that helps to inspire, motivate, drive me and keep me focused towards reaching my goals.

When I first read the challenge I blew it off thinking everyone else is going to come up with amazing things and I don't have the time blah blah blah BUT I am happy to say that I gave myself a whack with my rubber mallet and made a start on it (gotta love pinterest for it's ease).

There are so many things that I find inspiration in and so as this board grows it will be one that is very eclectic in nature.

Some of the things that inspire me are my boys, my mum, my friends, random things around me, human kindness, music, art, photography, the list goes on and on but most of all and without sounding full of myself - I find it in ME...in the things that I have already overcome.

My main goal in life is to be HAPPY with who I am and to APPRECIATE everything that I am blessed with - which is mostly life itself. There was a point in my life that I wanted to end it and now 'I LOVE LIVING'.




I found this on another site and thought it was really well done

12WBT End Week 1 Results


WEEK 1 RESULTS

I achieved the Trinity - Weight Loss, Fat Loss and Muscle Gain!


12WBT End Week 1

Random Week 1 Thoughts
  • I am so happy with how I am going and I am sure I will see good results. 
  • I might be eating too little calories and am a little worried about going into starvation mode so will need to work harder at sticking to my 1200 calories. FOOD DIARY
  • I have had really bad pains in my tummy for a couple nights in a row and it took me a while to realise that it was a hunger pain as it had been so long since I felt it. 
  • I have started training with Bec again and it feels like old times. I can't wait until we do a session with Kerriann too. 
  • I cleaned my study and it feels like a much more productive space - I am really looking forward to getting in there and working at finishing my courses. 
  • I am so excited about my Photography venture with Eleisha, I have a feeling that we could really take it somewhere special. 
  • I am so proud of how the boys have done this week with a change in the food and schedule (Glenn has worked back most nights). 
  • Next year I am going to enter the Rotary Art Show - Photography & Painting sections.
Week 1 Random Pictures

Greek Lamb Salad from The Border Inn - Yummy

My FREE Meal - Calamari Salad

Have to say that despite this being delicious, I was really disappointed when it came out crumbed and obviously fried as I checked the menu over several times and this sounded like the best option.  I have learnt to never assume but to ask questions before ordering.


Decided to treat myself to a Manicure and Pedicure as a reward in advance as a way to not spend my money on chocolate and junk food.


My family had Fish 'n' Chips and so I ordered 'no oil' Grilled Fish and served it with a salad instead of having chips and potatoe cakes.  I must remember if I have it again to ask for no flour.



Look what my very clever man made up for the boys toys.  I am also getting him to make some in the Gym for me.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Walking the Talk

I am proudly walking the talk...

Hi, I'm Tash, Although I am still currently on the journey to reaching my ultimate goal and may not 'look' like a personal trainer, everything I share with you is from life experience. I have had my days where its all too hard, where I wait for motivation to hit, where I comfort myself with food. I know what it feels like to carry the weight of two people around with you every day, I know what its like to go from one extreme to the other, to live with an eating disorder, to put on most/if not all of the weight that you have lost. I have made all the excuses you can think of, I have dealt with sickness, depression and injury (this one I am still dealing with), the list goes on and on - I have lived it / I am living it. It is for all these reasons that I believe I am great at what I do. I am dedicated to being the best that I can be and I want to inspire and motivate you to achieve the same.


Do not put off until tomorrow that which you can do today

See it, Believe it and Achieve it

12WBT Task 7 & 8

In order to know how far you've come, you've got to know where you started. 

PRE-SEASON TASK 7 - Fitness Test

1 km Time Trial - This is a measurement of your cardiovascular fitness. The fitter you are, the healthier your heart. 

Push UpTest - This is a measurement of your upper body strenth and endurance. How many push-ups can you do in 1 minute? 

Wall Sit - This test measures your lower body strength.

Sit & Reach - This test measures flexibility

Crunch - 5 stage abdominal test to determine your abdominal strength
  • Stage 1: Wrists to kneecaps 
  • Stage 2: Arms folded across your chest. Full sit up, Elbows to thighs 
  • Stage 3: Hands linked behind head. Full sit up. Elbows must stay wide 
  • Stage 4: Arms crossed behind your head. Hands on opposite shoulders. Full sit up. 
  • Stage 5: Arms fully extended crossed behind head. Full Sit up. 


PRE-SEASON TASK 8 - Measure Up and take some statistics

Weigh, Measure and Take a 'BEFORE' Photo

SOME TIPS:

Weight - Choose your weigh in day and make sure you weigh in on the same day and time each week. Mornings are the best - straight after your first pee and in the nude.

Measurements - Make sure that you are wearing the same clothes (including bra for girls) and measure exactly the same way each time, and at the same time of the day.

  • Chest: on the nipple line. 
  • Waist: on the belly button and measure around that point. 
  • Hips: at the widest part (not on the hip bones). 
  • Thighs: With feet apart and arms by your side point thumb downwards - this is your measurement point. 
  • Arms: 4 fingers above elbow crease, arm relaxed down by your side as you measure.




So if you pay attention you might have noticed that I have shrunk by 2cm....old age or the wrong initial measurement hmmm.

I am currently a tight Size 14 which means my jeans are uncomfortable.

I have to say that I am totally disgusted in my body fat percentage.  In Feb 2012 it was 33% and in 4 months it has increased by a shocking 17.9% - hence the reason I am looking like a saggy baggy elephant girl.

Unfortunately my loose skin on the inner thighs and arms and my upper tummy will require surgery but in the meantime I plan to just tone up the underlying muscle as much as possible.  I will consider surgery if when I reach my goal I am still not happy with how it looks.

Well, that's the end of the Pre-Season Tasks...now to get on with the challenge.  No luck needed as I am one determined and stubborn woman!


Sunday, June 10, 2012

12WBT Task 3, 4, 5, 6

PRE-SEASON TASK 3 - Gear Up

Get geared up with some sports gear, a gym membership, personal training sessions, water bottle, fitness dvd's, a heart rate monitor and some basic gym equipment.

PRE-SEASON TASK 4 - Say It Out Loud


Saying it out loud and sharing it with friends and family makes you more accountable to make the commitment to yourself.  


I Natasha Hurst, commit 'out loud' to put in the hard work towards a fitter, stronger, healthier version of myself which in turn will provide me with a feeling of empowerment and allow me to proudly 'walk the talk'.

I am committed to achieving my goals with the use of healthy food and exercise and I promise myself that I will not slip into negative patterns of behaviour as they are only destructive.

I am committed to praising myself for even the smallest of victories and achievements as I have earnt it and they all add up to the grand prize.

I am committed to not allowing a figure on the scales determine whether it is a good or bad day but will continue on my journey with the same dedication and motivation regardless of the result.

I am committed to following a healthy nutrition plan consisting of 5 - 6 small meals per day and sticking as close to my 1200 calories as I can.

I am committed to not over endulging.

I am committed to allowing myself 1 free meal per week and will not feel guilty for doing so.

I am committed to forgiving myself for being human should I experience any slip ups along the way (no matter how big or small) and I agree that I will not allow them to trigger any self sabotage episodes (binge/emotional/comfort eating). Instead, I am committed to picking myself up, dusting off and getting straight back on the wagon.

I am committed to exercising for a minimum of 60 minutes (1 hour = 4% of my day), 6 days per week which includes a minimum of 2 PT sessions.

I am committed to allowing my body to have 1 day of rest.

I am committed to maintaining a food and exercise diary on a daily basis and to blogging my journey at least once per week as doing this makes me more accountable.

I am committed to making time to study so that I will finish my courses as this is an important step for my future.

I am committed to giving myself adequate rest and will ensure that I am in bed with lights out by 11pm on weeknights.

I am committed to hydrating my body by drinking at least 1 - 2 bottles of water per day.

I am committed to stepping out of my comfort zone and embracing change.

I am committed to accepting the limitations that my knee operation has produced and be kind to myself. Should I experience pain (in the joint) I will stop as it is not my friend and will only cause more damage and thus more recovery time.

I am committed to not allowing my excuses to stop me and will use my solutions to help me push past them.

I am committed to loving myself for who I am no matter what shape or size I am and I will look in the mirror everyday and say 'I love you Natasha Hurst, you are beautiful to me'.

I am committed to giving my all to this challenge from Day 1 to Day 84 and I will finish it and achieve the results that I desire.

As a reward for all of these commitments I will be the best version of myself possible which in turn will make be a better person all round and a great role model for my children.

PRE-SEASON TASK 5 - Kitchen Make Over

Clear your house of anything that is processed, not nutritious, high in sugar, high in fat and replace it with foods that are healthy, unprocessed, low sugar and low fat.


Nutrition makes up 80% of the equation (with exercise being the other 20%) and if there are no temptations in your fridge / pantry then you can't be tempted.  


This part was pretty easy for me as I had made the switch to low fat, low sugar and unprocessed alternatives a while ago and of late have stopped buying any chocolate or soft drink.  The one area in my pantry that wasn't so healthy was the kids snack box so I have stocked up on celery, carrots, dips, cheese, rice crackers and fruit and will take some extra time to prepare them a healthy lunch rather than taking the quick and easy option of processed pre-packaged snacks.  I will admit that I did allow them one treat and they chose roll ups.


PRE-SEASON TASK 6 - Organise and Diarise

Organisation and Planning is the key to success

  • Schedule your workout sessions
  • Plan your weekly menu in advance
  • Buy all ingredients in one shop once a week with only 1 top up shop if needed
  • Mark all RED FLAG events (anything that could disrupt your routine) so that you can plan around them
  • Set Mini Milestones - an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.


MY MINI MILESTONES

WEEK 4
  • Ftiness Test
  • Do a Body Pump Class

WEEK 8
  • Fitness Test
  • Do an Acrofun PT session

WEEK 12
  • Fitness Test
  • IF I have reached my goal I will attend the Finale Workout & Party in Perth



12WBT Task 2

PRE-SEASON TASK 2 - Take Control and Set your GOALS
WHY are you doing this challenge?  WHAT do you want to achieve? and HOW do you plan to achieve it?

Break goals down into blocks - Overall, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months.


Goals should be S.M.A.R.T!!

Specific
What exactly is your goal? To feel healthy is not specific. To Lose 2kg in a month is.

Measurable
Make sure you can measure your improvements along the way. For example you might have body shape measurements such as weight and blood pressure, or performance measurements such as running 4km without stopping.

Achievable/Attainable
Is it actually possible to achieve your goal? In your heart you need to believe that you can actually get there.

Realistic/Relevant
This is one notch higher than achievable. It might be possible for you to run a marathon (with the right amount of training) but is it realistic given your lifestyle factors?

Time Based
You need to set your goals against a time frame - when do you want to achieve them?


At the moment I am finding goal setting a little difficult due to not really knowing from day to day what is happening with the progress of my leg but I have set what I believe is achievable.

MY GOALS:

OVERALL:
  • I will lose 14.5kgs and 25.9% BF - Goal 71kgs & 25% BF
  • I will be able to run 10km's

1 MONTH GOALS:
  • Walk 1km without my walking stick
  • To lose 4 kilos
  • To finish my Cert 4 in Massage, Cert 3 and 4 in Fitness and Cert 4 in Nutrition

HOW I WILL GET THERE:
  • I will get there by doing my physiotherapy, hydrotherapy and resting when needed in order to rebuild the the strength in my leg.
  • I will lose 4 kilos by following a healthy nutrition plan and exercising
  • I will manage my time better so that I can study

3 MONTH GOALS:
  • To walk further than 1km without my walking stick
  • To lose 8 kilos

HOW I WILL GET THERE:
  • I will get there by doing my physiotherapy and resting when needed in order to rebuild the the strength in my leg.
  • I will lose 8 kilos by following a healthy nutrition plan and exercising.

6 MONTH GOALS:
  • To be able to walk around Moon Reserve without my stick
  • To be able to do a slow jog for at least 100 metres
  • To be at my goal weight of 71kg and have a body fat of 30%

HOW I WILL GET THERE:
  • I will get there by doing my physiotherapy and resting when needed in order to rebuild the the strength in my leg.
  • I will lose 14.5 kilos and body fat by following a healthy nutrition plan and exercising.

12 MONTH GOALS:
  • To be able to run 1km or more
  • To have a body fat percentage of 25%
  • To have maintained my weight and still be at my goal weight of 71kg or less

HOW I WILL GET THERE:
  • I will get there by doing my physiotherapy and resting when needed in order to rebuild the the strength in my leg.
  • I will continue to follow a healthy nutrition plan and exercising.
  • I will not slip back into negative patterns.




I have only listed my health and fitness goals for the purpose of the 12WBT but a few personal goals are:
  • To finish my Website
  • To see an accountant with regards to my businesses
  • To build up my businesses
  • To pay off my credit card ($5000)
  • To buy a block of land


12WBT Task 1

So after going out for brunch on Tuesday and over endulging on Pancakes with Ice Cream and Maple Syrup I reached a point that enough was enough and decided that it was time to turn things around and get the me I like back. SO, I bit the bullet and joined the the Michelle Bridges 12 Week Body Transformation Challenge!!

Before getting stuck into the challenge, Michelle sets 8 Pre-Season Tasks which need to be completed in order to prepare you for the journey ahead.  Usually, these are done over a period of 4 weeks prior to the round beginning (it actually started on Monday) but as I dove in head first at the last minute (I started on Wednesday 6th June 2012) I needed to do these asap.

PRE-SEASON TASK 1 - Time to Get Real and Get Rid of the EXCUSES



So I have to admit that I needed a little help from my friends to get me started and I am so thankful for their brutal honesty as it helped me to really look at the road blocks that have been preventing me from reaching my goal/s - which let me tell you, is not an easy task to do.


Here I was thinking that I had my excuses under control but my list clearly shows that this is not the case.  I also have a feeling that more will arise as I go along and I will be sure to acknowledge and add them to this list rather than just ignoring them.

My Excuses and My Solutions to overcome them

Internal Excuses
(negative self talk)
  • Too self critical as I need  to be perfect at what I do
  • I punish myself too harshly for small slip ups
  • I expect big results too soon
  • Fear of not being defined by my weight
  • Fear of giving up what I find comfort in
  • Scared to train alone for fear of injury
  • Scared of overdoing it and relapsing
  • I feel too fat and yucky


Solutions
  • Remember Perfection is a state of mind
  • Mistakes happen its how you amend them that counts
  • Patience - small victories add up to the grand prize
  • I will define myself by who I am on the inside
  • Nurturing myself will prevent seeking comfort in food
  • I will find training buddies and do PT sessions
  • I will listen to my body and allow myself to have rest days if needed
  • In 12 weeks time I will look and feel fabulous

External Excuses
(within my control)
  • I need to study
  • I need to get the housework done
  • I am too tired and sore
  • I don't like wasting food - especially if someone else pays for it
  • I have to juggle my workouts around my clients
  • I treat/reward myself with food

Solutions
  • Manage time better or arrange study day/s on my exercise free days
  • Delegate jobs and do the basics
  • Exercise will energise me and the soreness will pass - it is best to keep moving
  • It is better to waste it then to deal with the guilt of eating it & I can always pay for it instead
  • Workout with them or in between them or schedule around my schedule
  • Come up with non food rewards eg. New outfit, Manicure

External Excuses
(outside my control)
  • I can't drive to Melton to go to the Gym or do PT session
  • Medical Appointments for myself and family members
  • Weekends, Curriculum Days and School Holidays 
  • Social Outings
  • My loose skin makes progress hard to see

Solutions
  • Get a lift with someone, use my home gym or dvd's
  • Be prepared food wise and work around them exercise wise
  • Stock up on good food options for snacks
  • Choose options wisely or use my free meal
  • Pay attention to the Body Fat and Skeletal Muscle % 

They are mine....What are yours?
Be honest and really look deep inside, it will be worth it.

As Michelle says 
there are no more excuses JFDI!!  
Yep that's right 
Just F**king Do It!!

Monday, June 4, 2012

Food v's Exercise and vis-a-versa

So I am the first to admit that nutrition is my downfall and so this is a little reminder to myself....on those days when I am not doing as well as I would like to be.



Exercising everyday to compensate for an unhealthy diet means that you are just continually chasing your tail. 

I train because I enjoy it, NOT to over compensate for my occasional guilty pleasures. 


'Exercise is not a punishment, 
it is a reward 
Bad Food is not a reward, 
it is punishment'

Struggle Day

Friday was my struggle day and from the minute I pushed myself to get up out of bed I was wishing it was time to get back in again.  

Despite feeling like this however, I pushed through...

  • Morning Photography jobs for the Moorabool News
  • Collection of my book gift card
  • P/T session with Craig
  • Lunch and quick catch up with my Jhanine to check out her new Cake Studio.
  • Physiotherapy Session
  • Shopping
  • Music Rehearsal
  • The usual Mummy and Wifey stuff

Last weekend my name was drawn on a facebook competition to win a $20.00 Collins Gift Card.  I don't know what I am going to buy yet but I am curious about this Fifty Shades of Grey that all the girls are raving about.


PT Session with Craig.

2 X Resistance Band walks - Sideways
2 X Resistance Band walks - Forwards
2 X 10 Full TRX Squats
2 X 10 Wall Ball Squats with VMO Ball Hold

CROSS FIT CIRCUIT X 5
5 X Calorie burn on Cycle
10 X Steps Ups (once again I needed to use the TRX to help me but I got better with each one)
20 X 6kg Ball Slams
30 X 8kg Kettlebell Swings

I really struggled but continued to push through.  There were so many times that I wanted to say that's it, I can't do anymore but I didn't and even though I felt that I was really slow, I was proud that I didn't pike out. Besides pushing myself to do it, I have a feeling that there was no way Craig would of let me give in anyway LOL!


Physiotherapy

This session was with Henry who specialises in Exercise Prescription and he was really encouraging and helpful.  

One of the questions I had was whether or not I should be pushing through the pain or whether I should be stopping before it...the answer was a blunt STOP before it - 'IF' it is pain in the joint.  Muscular pain of course is a different story.

He was really happy with my progression of exercises and added in a couple of others to further advance my progress.  As well as continuing to work on my VMO I also need to strengthen my Glute Medius Muscle so that it can assist shorten the outer thigh muscles therefore pulling the knee cap over so it tracks properly.  I also need to be really conscious of the knee caps position when doing my other exercises eg.  Knee in line with second toe when squatting.

Clam Shell - 3 sets of 10
Lying directly on side, knees bent to 90 degrees
Keep feet together, lift top knee towards ceiling
Keep pelvis still, don’t let  it roll backwards towards bed




Hip Raise with Leg Extension - 3 sets of 10 (each leg)
Lying on back knees bent.
Tighten butt muscles and lift butt so shoulders, hips and knees in a straight line
Hold hips up, lift one foot off floor and straighten leg so it is in line with knee
Keep pelvis level and hold for 5 seconds
Lower slowly



One of the negatives of the session was that he isn't convinced that the operation has worked due to the laxity in my joints.  So, it means tighting (shortening) the muscles that work the joint as much as possible in order to keep the knee cap from popping out.  

Another question on my mind was whether he felt that it was possible to strengthen my left knee enough so to avoid further surgery - unfortunately he wasn't very optimistic due to the same reason he isn't sure whether or not this surgery has worked, but he said that anything is worth a try and to just see what time presents.

Notes from Session with Danyel

I really liked some of the new and challenging exercises that I did in my Thursday session and just wanted to make a note of them before I forgot.

Suprisingly enough one of the exercises is one that the Phsyio is getting me to do....Hip Raise with Leg Extension.  This one takes so much mental concentration to make my leg do what I want it to do and also strength and control to hold my body up.  With Danyel, we advanced it into a leg lower (taking leg straight up and then down).

Resistance Band shoulder throws (similar to torsonator) and lunge power punch - these would be awesome with a plyo component thrown in.

Push ups with knee/brazillian crunch - these take push ups to a whole new level and I love it.

Plank variation - toe taps, knee touches - I've done these before but had forgotten so it was nice to have the memory refreshed.


Mental v' s Physical



After last weeks training sessions with Craig (Wednesday / Friday) and Danyel from Reach your best health and fitness (my first one was on Thursday), I am more convinced of this than ever!  

Half of the battle comes down to our mental state, we can either think we can't,  in which case we won't OR we can think we can and then we do. 

For me its all about the willingness to TRY and the determination and drive to SUCCEED.  Even though I am finding the simplist of things (eg. walking, getting dressed, lifting my foot, putting shoes on, getting in and out of the car, sitting down and then standing up - to name a few hehehe), so frustratingly difficult; I refuse to quit because its then that I will fail.


Not only is it frustrating but its also tiring, both mentally and physically as everything has to be thought about before doing it, nothing comes easily for me any more BUT I am positive that it wont be long until its all second nature again, until then its all a learning curve - a big one at that.