Day 7, Week 6

Calories HERE

I am really disappointed in my food intake today and it wasn't until after I purged for the 3rd time during dinner (Roast Chicken and Vegetables), that I realised it was the only thing I had eaten all day.  And as my Mum said there is no excuse it is just plain slack!

The only exercise I did today was more cleaning both inside and out and for me that means alphabetising, colour coding and making sure everything is symmetrical and all is in order - yep OCD and yet another thing that I need to look into some help for!

Well that's all for me tonight, I am nervous about tomorrows weigh in and measure. Wish me luck!!

Read more "Day 7, Week 6"

Day 4, 5 & 6, Week 6

Day 4 & 5 I felt like absolute crap and so slept the days away!

Today I am feeling a little bit better :o).

I went for a walk this morning and only managed 15 minutes before I had sweat pouring off me and I got a stitch but it still felt good to be moving.

I mananged to clean half of the house today, including my wardrobe and I threw out 3 garbage bags full of clothes.

Tomorrow I plan on getting back on top of everything again so that next week can be smooth sailing as I have an extra task of feeding my friend's animals while they are away.  I am also hoping that I will be able to do at least a 30 minute steady paced walk.

Well I am buggered, its been a big day after not doing anything and as always I threw myself in headfirst.

Goodnight XOXO

CALORIES HERE

Read more "Day 4, 5 & 6, Week 6"

Day 3, Week 6

Calories HERE

Woke up this morning with a sore throat and feeling really tired but still generally well. 

Spent the day at Jhanines doing a whole lot of nothing, despite good intentions to walk/jog around the oval. 

Missed lunch again so was feeling a little ordinary by the time I got home at 3pm but decided to hit the treadmill first and do some 4km training and then have an early dinner. 

I only made it to 1.6km (20 minutes) before I had to get off and go and lie down.  At first I just figured it was because I hadn't eaten but when I started swallowing razor blades I decided to go to the doctor to get it checked out knowing how quick things can hit me. 

The diagnosis:  Throat Infection! 

No antibiotics given as it wasn't pussey enough and since I am allergic to penicillian he would rather see if I can fight it without intervention.  "Go home, get plenty of rest, keep up your fluids, take some nurofen and if it gets worse then come back" - the usual bullshit!

So now Im in bed feeling like shit and hoping that I will be well enough for my PT session and Zumba tomorrow.  

Anyway, thats it for today.  Will keep you posted! 

Read more "Day 3, Week 6"

Day 2, Week 6

After yesterday's workout I decided that today I needed to do something low impact and so swimming it was.  I did 35 minutes of non stop laps, swapping between strokes.  I timed my very last lap and managed to do it in 30 seconds which is rated as a 'Medium' lap lane time.  I have to admitt that I am pretty happy with that considering I was already feeling fatigued by that stage.  The other thing I am really happy about is that I managed to do 2 non stop laps (freestyle), which if you can recall was one of my goals. 

My new goal is to be able to do 3 non stop freestyle laps and to ofcourse better todays time.  

Calories HERE.  The past 2 days I have skipped lunch which isn't positive, so tomorrow I plan on rectifying that and have already made it just in case its another busy / run around day.  Tonights dinner was a picnic for the Preps and so my calories are on the high side due to delcious splurge on BBQ Chicken and Pre-prepared Salads.

RANDOM THOUGHT:  I am a little excited about doing the weigh, measure and photo thing this coming Monday so I have my fingers crossed and double crossed hoping for a good result.

Tomorrow I am going to train for the 4km.  I have decided to keep my walking speed down so that I can build my jogging endurance.  Look forward to sharing the result with you tomorrow night!

Addition at 12.12am....Arrrhhhhhh, I just had my first binge in ages and even though I am still within my calories I feel like a big fat blimp and am still unsatisfied WTF?  To top it off, I can't bloody sleep and am exhausted.  I'm also sore so it seems as though both the weight training and the swimming has kicked in at the same time LOL!

Read more "Day 2, Week 6"

Day 1, Week 6

Check out my daily Calories HERE

I got a new Gym program today and it is really going to make me work to my fullest potential so I love it!  It has both resistance and cardio training, so I am planning on alternating day by day and of course working around my PT sessions and other fitness classes. 

I ran with my little boy again today and words really can't describe how great it feels to be able to do that.  There is no way that at 127.5kg that I would of been able to do that.  I so often forget to look at the bigger picture and I really should acknowledge it more because even though I am not where I was a year ago (Skinny Fat and Malnourished) the main thing is that I am not where I was 9 years ago (Disgustingly Obsese and unhealthy) - I am 42.5kg lighter and that is an amazing achievement.

I didn't weigh or measure again today but next week I will be so be sure to stay tuned!

Read more "Day 1, Week 6"

Day 7, Week 5

Today was yet another day of much needed sweet 'FA'.

However come 3.30pm I decided it was time to get motivated and so I did a quick clean, made school/kinder lunches, got uniforms ready, tackled the washing (folding, ironing and putting away), got dinner ready, got the kids PJ's ready and ran them a bath.  Before I knew it, it was 6.30pm so I gave Glenn some instructions on what else needed doing and told him I was hitting the treadmill to watch The Biggest Loser.

Since there is only 11 weeks to go until the Mothers Day Classic I decided to do another training session.  I uped my speeds in order to bring down my time, and by the half way mark I was ready to give up.  I told myself that I would stop when I got to 30 minutes, but when I got there I was already at the 3km mark and quitting was no longer an option so I reduced my speeds and kept on going.  I am so glad that I pushed myself because I managed to beat my last time by 3 whole minutes - Whoo Hoo Go Me!! 

After the treadmill I still had 15 minutes left of my 1 hour of me time and so I decided to do some light weights focusing on the upper body.  I did 3 different exercises of 3 X 12 repetitions.  Tricep Extenstion, Butterfly Press, and Shoulder Press.

Food wise today I did OK - Check out what I had HERE.

Tomorrow I get my new program and I am so excited, I can't wait to see what it is.  Mind you, I have a feeling its going to really push me and so I am really nervous about that part.  What an awesome way to start a new week though!

Read more "Day 7, Week 5"

Day 6, Week 5

Firstly let me just say this....OUCH!  My Arms and Shoulders feel as though they have lead weights in them.  Other than that though, all is good!

I did a whole lot of nothing today other than lie on my bed and catch up on all my missed episodes (which is most of them) of the Biggest Loser.

It was a really hungry day and if I had of let myself go I could of easily eaten myself silly but I am happy to report that I stayed in control.  Knowing that today was a 'No Exercise' day made it a little easier.

Mum popped in this evening and told us all to get up and dressed because she was taking us out.  First stop was Red Rooster for a quick dinner and I am very happy to report that I avoided temptation and ordered a Side Salad which I really enjoyed.  I did have one chip though which was all I needed. 

After dinner we went to the Circus and it was awesome.  Mum said she couldn't pick whether my face or the boys was funnier to watch.  Let's just say that I was in awe of their athletic ability and strength.  The kids had some fairy floss and so I of course had to have a little bit and that was enough.  The hardest thing foodwise was that they had Hotdogs on a stick, you know the ones they cover in batter and then put tomoto sauce on - yummo!

Well thats it from me for today, tomorrow I plan on doing a 4km walk/jog, however if my body isn't up to it then I will just take it easy and work something else out.

FOOD HERE

Read more "Day 6, Week 5"

Day 5, Week 5

I did a step class this morning with Sarah and it was hard but I still loved it.  I wasn't able to keep up with some of the moves and my legs got really fatigued at one stage so I cheated and didn't use the step but I still kept moving.  We are planning on going again next week so I am hoping to improve on this weeks performance.  Mind you, I really don't know how I even managed to get through it considering I was sore this morning from the PT session and Zumba yesterday not to mention the rest of my week which has been full on.

I don't have a great deal planned for the weekend but I do need to do another 4km walk/jog at some point.  At this stage I am thinking that will be on Sunday as I really should have a rest day tomorrow to be able to recover fully or else I will just burn myself out and end up back at square one again!

Other than the usual pic's I spent the rest of the day with Jhanine and we sat and did a whole lot of nothing in particular which was lovely.  For lunch we endulged ourselves with a Turkey and Cheese Salad topped off nicely with a weight watchers Carmel Pecan Sundae and both were equally satisfying.

You can check out the rest of my food ect HERE

Well thats it from me for tonight as I am absolutely buggered, mind you the cleaning frenzy this evening didn't help thats for sure - phew!

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend.  Be kind to yourselves!  XOXO

Read more "Day 5, Week 5"

Day 4, Week 5

Ok so I have admitted it out loud and now I will officially share it, I weighed myself yesterday and it was down by 2kg - WHOO HOO!!

Today was massive.  PT session this morning and Zumba this evening and even though I know I worked hard because my poor old body is a little on the sore side, I am feeling FANBLOODYTASTIC!!

Todays PT session was my favourite out of all them and I am pretty sure that it was the most intense as my heart rate watch was beeping like mad.  Lots of conditioning work today which was really good as well as some upper body strength which is somewhere I really am lacking. 

Here's a brief run down (what I can remember anyway):

PT Session Feb 18th 2010

Warm Up - 2% incline at 6.0kph - 7 minutes

Cardio

*Down the steps and back up by two's down again

*Jogging with a sprint finish
*Up steps again by two's

Upper Body Workout

*Step ups

*Barbell press X 12

*Step ups

*Barbell press X 10

*Step ups

*Assisted Chin Ups X 12

*Step ups

*Assisted Chin ups X 10

MORE Cardio (as per above)

Abs

*Step up knee touches X 10 each leg

*Swiss Ball Crunches

*Step up knee touches X 10 each leg

*Swiss Ball Crunches with Medicine Ball

Cool down - Walk

Stretches to END!

By besties daughter Paige came with me to Zumba tonight and it was so nice to spend some fun time with her.  I am so glad that she really enjoyed it and it was so cute to watch her showing Neen all her groovy new moves.

RANDOM thought:  Paige told me tonight that she is on a health kick and to be completely honest it scared me a little.  Now it is even more important that both Neen and I be sensible with regards to our Eating and Exercising as the last thing I would want is for her to head down the same path that we have been on.

Food wise today I did really shit!!  I am in negative calories and I purged my dinner again, although not deliberately.  I think it was because I was rushing and not relaxed enough because the same thing happened last night.  If it continues I will look at getting some more fluid taken out.  Check out my Food ect HERE!  Tomorrow I am going to try my hardest to eat small nutritious meals often to help with my recovery and metabolism.

I brought myself another new toy today - its a Pedometer that also measures distance travelled and calories burnt so it will be my new best friend when it comes to training for the 4km - as well as my new watch of course.

Talking about the 4km, I also officially registered for the MOTHERS DAY CLASSIC 4km Run today!  But I won't be going it alone as Jhanine, Sarah, Paige and Kerriann (my Personal Trainer) will also be joining me.  We are the DETERMINATORS how exciting!!  I will be dedicating my run to my Nana who passed away from Breast Cancer when I was 10 years old and also to my Mum who was right there by her side the whole time.

Well thats it from me for another day, tomorrow morning if I can still walk I am going to do a Step Class - gotta say I am a little scared, hoping I will be able to keep up and not fall off the step hehe!

Read more "Day 4, Week 5"

Day 3, Week 5

Today Ace Riley, Mapa and I went to the Mums and Bubs Session at the Movies and saw Valentines Day which I really enjoyed despite Ace being worse than a fart in a bottle (in others words he didn't sit still OR stop talking). 

I was a little nervous about the whole Candy Bar thing but we got around that by popping into Coles and grabbing some healthy alternatives to take with us.  I will admitt that I couldn't resist grabbing a handful of Ace's Popcorn which was very yummy and so worth the calories. (Used a great deal of willpower there believe me - I love love LOVE buttered popcorn)!

Oh I also stopped off at K-Mart and brought myself a heartrate watch - YAY!!  Now all I have to do is figure out how to use it!

This afternoon was a lazy one as Glenn got home from work early and agreed to watch the boys while I had a Nana Nap - how spoilt am I.  It was just what I needed as my energy levels and body are a little low, sluggish and sore today - which is a really good feeling.

After dinner and the usual maddness I gave Mapa a call and asked if she wanted to join us for a family walk which she agreed to.  We ended up doing a 30 minute leisurely walk around the block and then played with the kids at the park.  We had planned on playing tennis but the courts no longer exist after the flooding from last week which is a bit of bummer.  It does however look as though they are going to put new ones in!

Food wise today you can see how I did HERE!

The next couple of days are big ones so be sure to check in tomorrow too!  Thanks for the support!  XOXO

Read more "Day 3, Week 5"

Day 2, Week 5 - Part 2

I have realised that there is only 12 weeks to go before the Mothers Day Classic and I am no where near ready for it and am scared shitless!  So today I decided to just grab the bull by the horns and start training.  

I am following a 6 week training program written by Brian Schepisi (Training Director / Sporting Spirit) which has been designed to help build me from walking to jogging 4 kms in 6 weeks.  The program consists of 3 training sessions per week which gradually builds week by week.  It also recommends that I mix it up with some cross training so it will work really well with my new Gym Program (very exciting about going through that on Monday).

So I got home from my lovely day with Neen, ran around like a headless chook doing all the usual Mum and Wifey things and then it was time for ME so I hit the treadmill!  I managed to walk/jog 4km's in 46 minutes and 30 seconds and when I stepped off the treadmill I could feel that I had worked hard and even now as I write this my legs feel like jelly and I love it!  I know its not the best time but its a start and the main thing is that proved to myself that I can do it - YAY!! GO ME!!  

46 minutes and 30 seconds = 538 Calories

 My Goal for the day of the marathon is to be able to jog at least 60 - 70% of the 4km and to complete it in the 30's, which I think is realistic. 

Tomorrow I will officially register for the Mothers Day Classic 4km Jog in Geelong and I am so excited.  The best bit is knowing that Neen and Sarah will be right there on the day with me!!

Read more "Day 2, Week 5 - Part 2"

Day 2, Week 5

Today was AWESOME!!

This morning I practically jumped out of bed and got everything I had to do done in time to be able to make the boys a special Pancake Tuesday breakfast which they loved.

On the way into school we ran from the car to the crossing and then Jazz and I ran back again.  I love being fit enough to run around and play with my boys the way that I do, the smile on their faces is priceless and mine too for that matter.

The rest of the day was spent with Neen who suggested that we go for a walk down the street.  So we put Jazz in the pusher and off we went.  After looking in the Sports shop we decided to treat ourselves to a coffee and were also joined by Mapa (my Mum) and Sarah.  It was so wonderful to spend time with some of my favourite people. 

After our coffees we headed off to the op-shop and grabbed a bargain then it was shopping at coles and back to Neens for some lunch, which was delcious.  By the time we finished lunch and had a cold drink, it was time to pick up Ace from school and so we decided to walk up to the school which of course meant walking back again. 

When we finally got back and had yet another well deserved cuppa, we estimated that we had walked 30 minutes in total which I think is just incredible as it didn't even feel like we were exercising. 

It was so good to spend some quality time with my bestie doing nothing but being our selves and enjoying each others company and I can't wait to do it again!

Check out my Calories for the day HERE

Read more "Day 2, Week 5"

Day 1, Week 5

I didn't weigh or measure today because as I mentioned previously due to it being that time of the month I don't think the results would be accurate and so I will just wait until the start of March which at this rate will be here before we know it. 

For the most part, today was kind of boring.  I did the School and Kinder run and then went food shopping which suprisingly only took me an hour.  Then I came home unpacked it and put it away.  Jumped on Facebook for a little while and then nuckled down and did some Yoga Study and just as I got right into it, it was time to pick up Jazz and from there it was go, go, go!

Oh, I am a little proud of myself because this morning I parked at the kinder put Jazz in the pusher and walked (even jogged a little) up to the school and back.  Then this afternoon when I picked Jazz up I had an hour to spare so I put him in the pusher again and walked up (jogged a little again - with Jazz saying go faster Mum go faster - hehehe!) and had a cuppa with Neen.  And then, we walked to get Ace from school and then back to the car again.  All up it was only 15minutes but every little bit counts.

Tonight, I did my first ever Boxing Circuit class and I am so glad that Neen came with me because I felt a little out of my depth so having someone there that I was comfortable enough to go at my own pace with was really good.  It was hard, but it was Awesome and I plan on going again.  Oh Oh, exciting news - I managed to do a couple of push ups (Girl ones) which is mind blowing.

I also wanted to share something else.  As much as I really enjoyed the class, I walked out really annoyed and dissappointed in myself for not feeling as though I worked it enough.  I seriously felt that I could of gotten on the tready and done a session too and even though I am tired now I'm not body tired and not sore either (that could be different tomorrow though).  I keep thinking that maybe I shouldn't of stopped to catch my breath or I should of pushed just a little more or punched a little bit harder.  I discussed this with Neen and she assured me that I was working hard and so WTF is up with feeling like that? 

After my exercise today I only managed to get my calories to 619, but if you take away the exercise I reached close to 1400 which is good.  Actually while I'm here I will admitt that I have been using my exercise in order to negate things and I have a feeling that doing that is just as bad as not eating at all.  So I am aware of it and will work on finding a balance.

Food, Exercise, Calories can be found here at my : CALORIE KING SITE

Dinner tonight was a HUGE HIT!!  All 3 of my boys had seconds and told me how wonderful I was for making them such a yummy dinner.  That is just the best feeling and it my Happy Thought for the Day!!

Well, thats it for now.  Thanks again for sharing my journey with me.  XOXO

Read more "Day 1, Week 5"

Day 7, Week 4

I'm posting this early today as I am planning on having an early night.

Its day 3 of my moontime and it is flowing like a flooded river; so as you can imagine I am feeling very drained.

I did 35 minutes of Step+ on the Wii this morning and then spent the rest of the hour playing some of the balance games trying to beat Mum's scores which I succeeded in doing - Whoo Hoo!!

This afternoon while the boys were watching their Fishing show, I decided to jump on the treadmill.  I only managed to do 15minutes but I was happy with that considering the mornings Wii playing.

15minutes = 173calories

View my Calorie Intake for the day HERE:

As you can see its a bit on the low side food wise today, but I am planning on having some fruit and custard later on.

Oh, also tonight was the first time in a while that I purged after dinner.  I can promise that it wasn't self inflicted and it wasn't a great deal but it hurt like heck all the same and so I have decided to cancel my lapband adjustment for this Wednesday.  How silly is it though, I ate heaps more yesterday and no purge today up it comes.  Actually I think alot of it was because I wasn't relaxed and was feeling like crap anyway.

I can't believe that tomorrow is Day 1 of Week 5.  I was considering weighing and taking my measurements as I think that I am in a pretty OK head space (6.5 out of 10), BUT since I have my moontime I really dont believe it would be accurate and so I will just leave it and update you on my usual Food, Exercise, Wellbeing instead.

Thanks heaps for all your support, I appreciate it more than words can say!

NOTE:  I checked my Goal Calender today and on the 22nd Feb I was hoping to be at 83kg - I have a feeling that it won't happen which is dissappointing.  Mind you, since this is a lifetime journey and not just a short term fix, the main thing is getting there and not how long it takes to get there!!  All good in theory but I will need to work on believing that one.

“Happiness is not a destination it’s a journey “.

Read more "Day 7, Week 4"

Day 6, Week 4

Check out my Food Diary HERE

I had a lazy start to the day which was a really nice change to the  usual 'up and at em' run around like crazy mornings.  My afternoon was spent pottering around doing a general clean which included stripping & making beds, dusting & disinfecting, vaccuming, mopping, washing, folding, ironing and then putting away.  Whilst not all that exciting it really does help to make me feel good.  The external reflects the internal - well it does for me anyway.

I decided to just have a shake for both breakfast and lunch as I wanted to save up my calories for dinner.  Which was at Stoneys (local pub) for my friend Anne's birthday. 

I was really looking forward to going out all day but that all changed when it came time to getting dressed.  Everything I put on I felt uncomforable in, which then just made me feel hot and flustered.  In the end I just said "Stuff it this will do"!!  NOTE:  I want to be able to fit into everything in my wardrobe again which is mostly size 12's (some 10's).

When I got to the pub Sarah asked me what I wanted to drink in which I replied "Water please" - this was replied to with a "Come on!" and so instead I had a Stongbow Clear which I suprisingly really enjoyed even though I still think it tasted like beer.

Choosing a meal was really hard as there were so many delicious things on the menu.  I was so tempted to order the "Stoney's Chicken" (Breast of chicken, stuffed with Mozarella Cheese, wrapped in bacon, covered in bread crumbs and topped with a creamy garlic sauce) but I just kept thinking of all the calories and so I went with the Thai Chicken Salad and a bowl of vegies instead and had 3 of Sarah's chips (yum).  I managed to polish off all of my meal (minus the tomatoes) and although it didn't look as good as the chicken (which both Anne and Sarah had) it was still nice.

After dinner, I suggested that we head to Baby Black for a coffee and yes dessert too.  It seems really silly ordering a skinny milk Cappuccino with equal and also a Carmel Cheesecake with Cream but that is exactly what I did and it was delicious.  I only managed to get through half of it before feeling sick and ready for a sleep.

I came home from a lovely relaxing and enjoyable evening determinded to get on the treadmill and burn off my dessert.  Instead, I got on the computer and then decided that one night off and a little splurge here and there wasn't going to kill me.  I have to admitt that it also helped to know that my Calories hadn't gone over - luckily cleaning the house accrued for some extra calories!

Well that is me done for the day and since its now 12.30am I am going to go to bed.  Oh thats another thing I must work on - Getting to bed at a decent hour!

NOTE:
In my food diary I listed my dessert as 3/4 of a Caramel Slice because I couldn't find a Caramel Cheesecake and even though there was an Average Cheesecake calorie amount which (for 1/2 a large slice) was less than than what I have put in, I believe that it was more like a slice than cheesecake and so thats why I did it that way instead!!

Read more "Day 6, Week 4"

Day 5, Week 4

All the days are merging into one they are going that bloody fast, OMG slow down a little will ya Geez!!!

It was a struggle to drag my butt out of bed this morning but I did it and as stupid as this sounds when I realised that I was sore, it was an even better excuse to make myself get motivated and start moving.  I have to say that I am soooo happy to be able to feel that I actually worked out, I was beginning to think I was doing something wrong.

Today I did my usual Photo run around and other than a quick visit with Sarah I really didn't do much else other than stroll around the shops.  I brought myself 3 workout outfits at K-Mart and also various items at the 50cent Op-Shop Sale. 

Food wise today I don't feel that I did very well 'nutritionally' despite my calories being under the limit (although not in negative) - check out Food etc HERE!

My biggest achievement today is pushing myself to do an hour workout even when I really didn't feel like it and now I am feeling really good - exhausted but good!

Tonight I did some interval training in my home Gym.  I followed a  program that Jhanine gave me to try as she found it too easy and I have to say I can understand why because it was even a little slow for me.  Although in saying that I think that it would work really well as one of my 'off' day workouts.  Mind you I ended up changing it towards the end and also added a little extra to it.

After the treadmill I did a 'Power Cycle' or as I now like to call it a 'Kaine' (Cycle instructor who is just utterly mad - I have never seen legs move so bloody fast) for 4 minutes and then I did some upper body (light) weight training for 15 minutes.  As I like to finish hard, I decided to finish up with a 60 second Plank - ouch but I have a feeling that these will help heaps with getting me to being able to do a proper pushup...just one is all I am asking for OK maybe 5 or 10 hmmm nah, 8 hehehe!!

Well, that is me done.  Tomorrow I am going to get up and vac, mop, iron etc - although I suprisingly don't have to be as manic as last week.  Mind you, I did do a clean mid-week which is why I needed a new Gym outfit because silly me sprayed the Exit Mould and it splattered on me and now I have a navy blue outfit with reddish splatter dots all over it - arrrrhhhhh!! 

Other than the clean I am going out for dinner tomorrow night (not looking forward to the whole menu choice thing) and that's that.  I am thinking that perhaps I will take the boys to shoot some hoops tomorrow or something fun anyway.

Read more "Day 5, Week 4"

Day 4, Week 4

Massive exercise day today and so I am in negative calories, mind you I still haven't had any dinner as I have a really bad tummy ache, moontime is on its way.  Food / Exercise / Calorie Diet HERE:

Awesome PT session this morning, Kerriann was taking no prisoners today and worked us (Sarah and I) hard.  I think that I could of pushed a little harder, but as my bestie said to me today I am always going to think I can push harder, its just who I am.  Nothings worth doing if its done half arsed, you gotta give it 110% or don't even bother.  I think its the Brereton in me (Mums side of the family).  I did manage to get my speed on the treadmill up to '10' which is amazing - have to say though that I am in awe of Sarah for pushing herself to do '11' - I whimped it.  Oh, I really need to REMEMBER TO BREATHE...sounds stupid but I need to be reminded, hence the reason I get dizzy.

Zumba, I dont feel I got alot out of apart from enjoyment value.  Next week I am going to have to push it hard and shake my hips and jump around more in order to get my heart rate up. 

I watched Biggest Loser tonight and all I can say is that the guys and gals on there are so F'n unbelievely brave and inspirational - I take my hat off to them.  Watching it has really helped me to make the decision to put some goals and plans that I have been considering into action - I can do whatever I set my mind to regardless of what size I am. 

Anyway I have so many things rushing around in my head right now and its all just ending up a jumbled mass of words because I can't type fast enough to get it all out so I am just going to head off to bed and leave it until its all processed properly.

Read more "Day 4, Week 4"

Day 2 & 3, Week 4

I really don't have much to report. 

I still haven't weighed or measured and I still don't plan to until March.  I do know that it will be hard to resist tomorrow at the Gym so I am going to need to use all the will power I can muster as I don't want to risk getting down over a result on the stupid scales.

Actually since I mentioned 'Will Power'.  The past couple of days I have felt so hungry and it is a feeling I am really unaccustomed too (the band elimates it, at least on a physical level) so its taking some getting used to.  To be honest my first thought was to go and get more fluid in my band, however on second thought this would mean reducing my food intake which would be taking a step backward and since I am doing so well right now I have decided that as hard as it is I just need to use my own will power and control my food intake on my own.

You can view my Food / Exercise / Calories HERE:  Just use the back arrow to view yesterdays!

Yesterday I went swimming with Mum and Neen for my daily exercise and I am really looking forward to going again because it was awesome.  My goal is to be able to do 2 non stop freestyle laps and at the moment I am struggling to complete 1 without my heart beating out of my chest.  Mind you in saying that I managed to keep moving for a full 40 minutes doing proper strokes, admittedly they were slow ones and mainly breast stroke but its a start.  I don't think I would have pushed as hard if Neen hadn't of been there, and whilst her and I normally have this competitive thing going on, yesterday I felt that there wasn't any of that which was fantastic.  We were simply pushing each other to do the best each of us could, but not pushing to be better than each other - if that makes sense.

Its 9:30pm now and the only exercise I have done today is walking up and down Main Street and Grant Street in the rain getting photos of the storm damage for the local paper.

RANDOM!!  I discovered today how many  muscles you use to stop yourself falling over.  In my case - nearly all of them; and I know this because I didn't just slip over in the mud once or twice but four times LOL!  It must of looked so funny.  Luckily I didn't  hurt myself but I am a little stiffer now than I was earlier and since I have a huge workout day tomorrow I have decided to just call in a day.

Hehehehehehe, I am still laughing at myself slipping in the mud.  By the time I got home I was covered in it, yes it could of had something to do with me walking through and splashing in the puddles too but it was so much fun!!

Read more "Day 2 & 3, Week 4"

Day 1, Week 4

I woke up this morning feeling really good and because I wanted to remain feeling that way I decided that skipping my weigh in and measure was the best thing to do.

I have also been thinking about how much time my 'statistic updates' take each week and whether that time is really worth spent obsessing about.  I worked it out to be approximately an hour and a half which includes the weigh in, measure, documenting, uploading, and blogging (more if you count the obsessing afterwards on the same/loss/gain factors).  

Anyway, cutting a long thinking process short - I will no longer be doing weekly weigh in and measurements.  I do however still believe it is important to track my process and so will do it at the start of each month only.  I will still be updating my blog regulary though so please keep following my progress as your support is awesome. 

Todays Update!!

I decided to allow myself to spurlge a little today being that it is Day 1 of the new week and so I had Cabonara for dinner.  All I can say is that thank goodness we use light cream because it is jampacked with calories. 

Exercise Wise I was going to be lazy and have the night off but Mum called to ask if I wanted to go and hit the Tennis Ball around so I said why not.  I am so glad that I did because I had so much fun.  We spent most of our time chasing after the balls that ended up on the other side of the courts next to us.  I am very much looking forward to doing it again as it was nice to spend some quality time together.

Well I am going to finish up as I have promised myself an early night and I still have some work to get done.

If you want to check out my Food/Exercise/Calories you can do so 'HERE'.

Read more "Day 1, Week 4"

Day 7, Week 3

OMG the week is over already, time is just flashing before our eyes....see, there it goes!! ZOOOMMMMMMM!!!

Went out for lunch with Terry and the Girls to Back to Bacchus - I think it is now one of my favourite places to eat in town (perhaps not the best atmosphere wise but the value for money is fantastic, food is delicious and the service is just as good).

We spent a couple of hours at the car show with the Smith Clan and apart from stopping to take photos I was walking the whole time - my legs now feel like jelly.

Tonignts dinner was a BBQ with Faith, Gene, Linda and the boys which was really nice and Mum popped in quickly too.

On top of that I also managed to do the weekly shopping,  finish all the washing (which included an hour of ironing), general tidy (usual day to day stuff) and catch up on some bits and pieces in the office.  All in all I would say that it was a very Productive day and I am feeling pretty good!!

Click HERE for the usual update!!

Apart from a little bit of fine tuning being needed here and there, overall I am really happy with my weeks progress.  I am considering not weighing and measuring tomorrow morning as to be perfectly honest, regardless of feeling happy now, I am not sure that I won't allow the result to affect my emotional state if it isn't what I am hoping for - which off course is a loss in all areas!  Anyway I will just see how I am feeling in the morning as these days taking each day one at a time seems to be the best way to get through.

Thanks to you all for the wonderful support this past week your friendship is truly appreciated.  XOXO

Its been one year since BLACK SATURDAY

Sunday 7th of February 2010

Please REMEMBER those that were affected by

last years devastating fires.

Read more "Day 7, Week 3"

Day 6, Week 3

I have spent the majority of today cleaning my house and for me that means scrubbing the walls, cleaning inside cupboards and of course alphabetising and colour coordinating stuff and so I am absolutely exhasted and so sore, but it also feels good at the same time.  I started at 2pm, it is now 12.30am (I still haven't finished) and I have only stopped for short cuppa breaks (and of course FB check) before getting straight back into it again. Because some of it was organising stuff whilst sitting I decided to only account for 4 hours which is all the things that made me sweat.

Calorie wise, I am in negative as the cleaning has burnt off 'heaps'.  I was a little naughty and had a fried dim sim today (cooked at home) but it was totally worth the 177 calories because it was delicious.  I actually went back to have another one but the boys had already scoffed them (lucky for me).  For dinner Glenn cooked Beef & Vegetable Stirfry with Rice which I tried to eat but for the first time in a week I ended up in the loo straight after.  I have been meaning to get myself a soup but I keep getting side tracked.

I also went for a walk this morning to the Market with Mum and the boys (which includes Glenn) which was a nice way to start the day.  I brought myself a new hat for after the shave and some new headbands.  Glenn brought me a present too which I still haven't tried on but am so excited about because I have been wanting them for ages - harem style pants that can also be worn as a jumpsuit!

Well while I remember I  am going to get me that soup and then I am going to finish up for the night - the rest can wait till tomorrow, its only folding the washing and ironing (ewww).

Check out Food etc HERE:

Happy 'WAITANGI' Day!

Read more "Day 6, Week 3"

Day 5, Week 3

All I can say is that I am so glad that I can finally sit down and actually relax - phew, what a day!! 

Despite setting my alarm for 6:45am the boys woke up before me and Glenn got home from work before I was even out of bed (he started at 4am).  I have to say though that once I am up even though it is best not to try and engage in conversation with me straight away I am very productive and so it wasn't long before the kids were fed, dressed and in front of the TV (I love ABC Kids) and I was showered and dressed and ready to go.

School run first followed shortly after by the Kinder drop off and then straight to the hospital to take Baby Pictures.  From there it was a mad dash to Melton to sort out some queries with Centrelink, then back to the Marsh for a photo at Pentland Primary School followed by one at the College and then the Church.  By this time it was 1am and so I had enough time to have a quick look in the opshop (50 cent sale day so I couldn't resist) before picking up Jazz from Kinder.

By this stage I was so hungry and for the first time in ages I don't only mean mentally so Glenn took Jazz and I out to lunch at Back to Bacchus where I had Tandori Chicken, Rice and Salad with a Yogurt Dipping Sauce and it was so delicious I ate everything on my plate and did not once get up to go to the toilet to purge.  I have to admitt that it felt GOOD! Oh the meal was only $10 which is super good value I highly recommend it!

After lunch I had enough time to pop in and say a quick 'HI' to Neen (I didn't even stop for a cuppa!!) and then back home to do some photo uploading before picking up Ace at 3:15.  Then at 4pm it was photo's at the Pound followed by more photos at the PAHQ and then finally back home to run around madly getting dinner and PJ's ready for the kids when they got home from swimming.  Then after the usual cactus hour, I finally got to sit at the computer to sort through everything, write the Pound Poem and email it all off.  By the time that was all completed it was 9pm.

As you can imagine the last thing on my mind was working out but when I got a message from Neen asking if I was up for some Wii Personal Trainer I said 'Why Not'.  During the first 15 minutes I was wishing I'd said 'NO' and I thought there was no way I was going to get through the full 45minutes but I kept pushing and having Neen there to chat to and laugh with made it easier and before we knew it time was up.  I have to say that once it was over I felt the best that I had all day.

Food wise today I did Ok, mind you most of my calories were made up of Coffee and Tea because of the 2 sugars in each.  I am going to try and replace it with equal or at least cut down.  You can check out my Food/Exercise/Calorie Diary HERE!

I am so glad that Glenn came with me today because even he said that he was exhausted from running around (and he didn't work out afterwards).  He also realised how easy it is to get behind on the housework just by being away from home that one day and how much juggling I have to do in order to get things done.  I don't know how long he will remember it for but at least for this one day he walked in my shoes for a little while and it was nice to share it with him.

Well thats me over and out, tomorrow I only have one photo to do and then I plan on working out a weekly menu so that I can go shopping and get myself organised for the week ahead.  And, ofcourse I will do housework but I figure I will use it as a workout - it burns some good calories!!

Oh and guess what.....I went - FINALLY!!!  YAY!!

Read more "Day 5, Week 3"

Day 4, Week 3

View my Food / Exercise Calorie Diary HERE:  I'm not in negative calories like I thought - whoo hoo!  Feeling quite happy about that (strange feeling, being happy that I got food in, rather than the other way around).

After feeling shitty for the past couple of days I decided that only I could change my reality and so I opted for a day full of positivity and productivity.  I woke up early (6:45am), jumped in the shower and got everything ready before the boys even woke up, a very rare occurance.  After school run it was time to hit the Gym with Sarah, a good friend of mine who is also on a journey of her own.  We decided that first thing was first and that we needed to have a chat.  I am so glad that we did because she really helped me to feel better about myself and put some things into perspective, it is so interesting getting an outside view on things.  

Today I worked on my Treadmill Interval Training which involved me keeping track of my heart rate and getting it into the Fatburn zone and then pushing it up into Cardio and then dropping it to Fatburn and then back up again and so on and so forth.  Its amazing how fast 30 minutes goes when you are busy concentrating on something other than walking/jogging.  I also managed to do 6.5 minutes on the rower to 1000 meters at a resistance of '8' and then 10 minutes on the Elipical Trainer doing one of the programs which spices things up a bit.  This won't seem like much for some but for me it is a huge achievement; I ran for 2 minutes @8kph and 1 and a half minutes @9kph - amazing!!

After Gym we headed out for a coffee (or, in my case Chai Latte - skinny of course).  My afternoon then consisted of running around town taking a picture here and a picture there, school pickup and some work on the computer.  Hence, the reason Dinner was a Pie and Chips - Glenn threw something together so I could work - he can be such a sweetie! 

Tonight I hit the Gym again but this time to do an hour of Zumba which was awesome.  I was as red as a beetroot and as sticky as anything afterwards and I think I even managed to sweat a little which for me is a very rare thing.  I can't wait till next weeks class, there are 8 in total so I am hoping that I can increase my own intensity and fitness level at each one.

After Zumba I decided to pop in and see my bestie of whom I had been a little shitty with over the past couple of days, actually who I am I kidding it wasn't just her I was shitty with but the world in general and me most of all.  Anyway, I am so glad that I popped in because we had a night of music and it was just what the doctor ordered.  I must also admitt that getting paid compliments from the opposite sex is always a good boost for a deflated ego even if it was only the booze talking, and I got a double whammy too Looks and Music - I am suprised I got my head out of the door hehehe!!

Oh I also hopped on the scales today at Gym and before you start to lecture, I know that I shouldn't have BUT I am glad I did because it has come down 1.1kg since the last Gym weigh in on Monday night.  87.6kg - 86.5kg....maybe there is something to be said about actually eating.

Antoher thing (for those who don't like too much information do not read this part), I still haven't used my bowels and it has been over a week.  I am feeling quite yucky so if nothing happens by tomorrow night I will have no choice but to help it along and I am hoping that this time that works because the last lot I took didn't. Mind you there was no food in my stomach then.

Well thats my day, tomorrow is massive and so I had better go and get some rest.  Thanks so much for sharing my journey and encouraging me each step of the way.

Read more "Day 4, Week 3"

Day 3, Week 3

This morning I cancelled my 'AM' appointments as I just couldn't face going out and if it wasn't for the fact that I would of been charged a cancellation fee I would of done the same for my LapBand appointment too. I dragged my butt out of bed at about 11am, (lucky for me the kids were happy enough to sit and watch a DVD), and then I pottered around doing a general tidy which is not something I usually struggle with doing but today felt like a major effort.  When I got home this afternoon my head was thumping and so I laid on the couch and Glenn did everything, I just couldn't motivate myself to get up and do it.  It wasn't until the kids went to bed that I was able to help him out with the dishes (whoo hoo big deal).  I have also been really snappy at people around me and I can't be bothered talking to or seeing anyone which again is not like me.  Anway my head is still pounding but at least I can open my eyes and so here I am sharing this useless boring information because for some reason I feel it is important somehow. 

LAPBAND ADJUSTMENT:

I told my Doctor about my lack of Calorie intake and that my body was in starvation mode and that on most days I purge all solid food and so she suggested that we take out .2ml's of fluid, which is only minimal but could make a huge difference.  She suggested that I aim for 1200 Calories as she felt that the RMR of 1600 was too high.  I asked about a dietician but she said that she is confident that I know what I should and shouldn't be having but that she would like to see a food journal (which I have been doing anyway).  I also asked about the 'pin scrapping feeling' that I have been getting under my skin near the port and she said that its the stitches/staples pulling on the muscle and to just be careful with anything that would aggrevate it eg. cruches, lifting - I just said OK!  So anyway I have another appointment in 2 weeks time to see how things are going.  My heartburn was the most of her concern so I need to pay attention to when I get it and if it is food related.  Oh she also said to try to eat when I am not stressed which she realised was easier said than done as my kids were running a muck in the room around us.

Oh, according to the scales today I weighed 85.5 which means that I lost 1.5kg since the last appointment which was on the 15th of Jan.  I told her that I had a feeling they weren't right because thats a 1.6kg discrepancy and the Wii, My Scales and the Gyms Scales can't all be out by that much surely.

Total Fluid in Band = 10.3ml.

That's enough for me today, I didn't exercise today obviously which now makes it 2 days in a row and I am feeling blah about that too.  Tomorrow I plan on making up for it with a Gym session in the morning and a Zumba Class in the afternoon.

So far I have managed to get just over 1000 calories so I am going to have a yogurt or something else before I go to bed to bump it up a little.  You can check out my Food/Exercise/Calories Diary HERE:  I am still not convinced about this eating to lose weight thing but I really have no choice unless I break my promise which is just something I don't do.  Gotta say I am shitty I ever made it!

Read more "Day 3, Week 3"

Day 2, Week 3

I am exhausted on all levels - Mentally, Physically and above all else Emotionally.

Right now I am feeling extremely disgusted in myself because I managed to force feed myself (and believe me it was forced) 1443Calories.  There are so many other things I can say about how that made me feel but right now I am just not in the mood.  I wasn't going to even bother with this blog tonight but here I am!

I went to the physio about my knee today and as we were finishing up she asked me if I had considered trying to loose weight.   I wanted to scream at her, because I had already told her at the beginning of the session that I had the lapband and that I had put on weight due to it stuffing up and that I had been training at the Gym...why ask me questions if you aren't going to listen?  Anyway, So basically she said to just stretch more and that if I lost weight it would get better!!  Big waste of time that was!

OK, I can't be F*#)@ed writing anymore, I am shitty and upset and just want to crawl into a hole and not come out until I am so thin that I can dissappear and then I won't have people judge me for being FAT anymore!! 

Read more "Day 2, Week 3"

In pain and sorrow lies truth....

....but with the realisation and living of that truth - comes the joy!

Tonight Jhanine (my bestie) asked me to remember and believe that line.  She also made me promise her to change my destructive patterns and to start to eat and allow the food to stay in my body.  This is easier said than done.  I am terrified for so many reasons that to me seem valid and logical and yet to others will just sound completely stupid.  I can't even express in words exactly what is going on inside this head of mine and the amount of mixed emotions that I am experiencing.

If you read the last blog you would see that I have put on weight despite my measurements coming down because of working my arse off in the Gym.  This is not because Muscle weighs more than Fat because this is not true; it is because my body is in Starvation Mode which means that my metabolism has slowed down so much that my body is storing anything that I allow it to have as fat.

In other words, I am sick!  I have an eating disorder called Anorexia!!  OMG that just sounds so F'n stupid to me, I associate Anorexia with people who are skin and bones Skinny and when I look at myself all I see is Fat! Fat! Fat! Bulimia I can accept, although now the band does that for me, no more self induced purges.  Hmmm not entirely true because on another level it is induced! 

Why I am in Starvation Mode:

The amount of Calories I need to live = 1648

The amount of Calories I had today   = <40>

And this hasn't just happended today it is most days and on the days that I do allow myself more calories I either feel so guilty about it that I end up so depressed that I cant be bothered doing anything, seeing or talking to anyone OR I work my arse off exercising so that I can burn it off.

I am going to change this destructive behaviour!!  As much as I feel as though I am trapped in the fog and can't get out, I honour my promises. 

Jhanine ended her blog tonight by saying that there is no substitute for your health. No number on a scale or a tape measure, measures your worth as a person. No weight loss goal is worth reaching if it is at the sake of your health and well being. I wish I could believe it!

One thing that did hit hard though was when I saw her crying in pain along side me and then saw the tears well in Glenn's eyes when I told him.  When you put yourself in danger through unhealthy habits and extreme measures to achieve a goal, you are not the only person that you hurt.

I do not want your pitty or sympathy, this is not why I am sharing this information.  I am just asking for you to be there with me on the tough days ahead and to lend a hand when I stumble or to push me a little when the hills are more live mountains. 

Glenn said to me tonight:  "I met you when you were big and I loved you then so that won't change now if you put on weight....I love YOU silly!!".  He will never truly understand how much it meant to me to hear him say that.

Anyway I don't know what else to say and this has taken me over an hour to write as it is, so I am going to head to bed and get some rest. Tomorrow I need to get up and eat 1648 Calories and my guts is in knots just thinking about it.  But as the saying goes....The first steps always the hardest!!

Click "HERE" to read Jhanines blog!

Read more "In pain and sorrow lies truth...."

Day 1, Week 3 - An Update!

WEIGHT & MEASUREMENTS:

This is how I started my day......

Weight has gone UP and Measurements have come DOWN - totally frustrating and ridiculous - I just can't grasp the theory of it......arrrhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! PISSED OFF!!!

In total I have Gained 1.4kg / 3lbs and Lost a total of 10cm / 4"

I can only see a slight difference.

FOOD:

For Brunch (Breakfast & Lunch in one) I had a Chocolate SlimRight Shake made with Lite Milk = 230 Calories.

For Dinner I made Bangers and Mash with Tomatoe and Brown Onion Gravy and although I ate half of it....the amount that I actually kept in was ZERO!!

I had 6 Coffees each with Lite Milk and 2 Sugars Each = 330 Calories.

Total Calories = 560

EXERCISE:

*5 mins Cycle (92cal)

*10mins Elliptical Trainer (103cal)

*8 mins Jogging on Treadmill @8 kph (94cal)
*14 mins Walking on Treadmill @ 6.2 kph (205cal)
*8 mins Walking on Treadmill @ 5.5 kph (106cal)

Total Exercise Calories = 600

My Daily Calorie Total = <40>


REASSESSMENT RESULTS:

My initial Assessment was on December 3, 2009 (2 months ago).  In that time my weight has increased by 3.6kg(8lbs) and my measurements have increased by 14.5cm(5.75") which of course means an increase in my BMI.

However,  my Skeletal Muscle Mass has changed from 25% to 26.4% and my % of Body Fat has changed from 42.3% to 40.6% and my Viceral Fat is unchanged at 7.

The other thing that was calculated was my RMR (Resting Metabolic HeartRate).  This is that amount of Calories that are burned while the body is at rest. These calories are needed just to maintain life.  My RMR Total = 1648 cals.

Read more "Day 1, Week 3 - An Update!"