So it's been a while, and usually I'd fill you in on everything that has happened to this point first, but I feel the urge to write, and so here I am!
This past week, well the past few plus some really, have been ultra tough, and I have been filled with anxious tension from the moment I wake up, till the time I finally close my eyes to get 'some' sleep.
You know those moments when it's not just one thing but a f@/& tonne of them, all at once, and all it takes is one thing to tip the scale from treading, to sinking!?!
Well that point hit me hard today, and I ugly cried majorly, before suppressing it again that is!
Funny how 'suppression' is something I believe in avoiding, I mean it is one of the Naturopathic principles I'm studying, and yet...
Anywho, tonight I finally allowed myself to stop long enough to pick and my guitar and sing a song. Well, truthfully I belted it, screamed it more to the point!
Gotta say though, I do feel better for it!
That's not to say that all those things things that I was feeling still aren't weighing heavily upon me, because they are, and they aren't going to magically dissappear. What it means, is instead of me pushing my anxiousness deeper beneath the surface where it festers causing dis-ease and a sense of drowning, I let the cap off to blow off steam, and boy did it blow!
I'm sharing this post as a reminder to myself to take that time out to sing, scream, cry..., because whilst it doesn't fix the causative factors, it helps me to feel like I have the strength to tread again, it truly does. I hope that if you are reading this, and feeling the same way, that it helps you too.
So yeah, whilst treading is not ideal, for now it is better than drowning and I know that soon enough, I'll figure everything out so I can float again.
These are the lyrics to the song I screamed. It's one I wrote a while back.
You can listen to a scratch track HERE
I may, or may not share a list of everything weighing me down here, but either way, I will be writting one out, as I truly believe that journaling is a powerful tool to help you see more clearly.
