Back to school...

Monday 12th October

As covid-19 case numbers are low here in regional Victoria, it was declared by those in power, that all kids are to go back to onsite learning.

Today is their first day...

Have to be real with you here, as much as it means I get to have a proper rest, Mark can maybe get stuff done, and the boys get to see their mates, "we" aren't really all that excited about it.  Alas, off they went, but there were no happy dances here!

Thankfully the masks hide their distain!  Mind you, wearing them all day is not at all appealing, despite being a neccesity for safety.

I know I haven't been working due to having the ops and then the recovery process, but given the whole covid stuff, I would of stopped work anyway to make the boys my priority...I've always said they come first!   Therefore, their safety is paramount, and if that means keeping them home and us having to do the schooling, well it is totally worth the lack of rest or work not getting done. 

In saying that, it is possible that part of our lack of joy jumping is due to fear.  Whilst I don't feel it is totally unwarranted, we currently have no active cases here in regional Vic, so that is a positive and eases the anxiousness.  If there were active cases here in Bacchus Marsh we would have certainly reconsidered sending them.  Actually, should circumstances change, they'll get their wish and be staying home again.  As much as we loved having them home, heres hoping that doesn't happen hey!

And there's another reason we aren't all that thrilled about school returning; we have enjoyed our family time together at home.  Not to say we have lived in each others pockets, no siree, we each like our own space and company too much for that.  But, the times we've all been together has been special; whether it be schooling, walks, movies and snuggles, or just chit chatting about this, that, and the other.

Whilst I like being involved in their education and knowing exactly what they are learning, it has admittedly been more so when we have not been homeschooling.  As I've said before, patience isn't my strongest attribute and Ace tends to procrastinate and give up before actually trying; a pet peeve of mine (I have a long list of those...a whole other blog)!  

In saying that though, there were days that were absolute gems, where all the praise and encouragement saw them rise above all challenges.  My favourite part of all is watching them put head down and bum up and having those aha moments when they 'get it' and are then filled with a tremendous sense of empowerment, which inspires them to do more.

Yet again time has flown and it is now Monday 19th October and the 2nd week of onsite learning for term 4.  

The first week went well, although truth be told, from Wednesday they both asked each day to stay home.  It took all my strength to be strong and say no!  But as much as I would love them home, school is important for them.  Also, rest is important for me (there will be a blog coming about that soon)  And, I need Marky to get some shit done out in my poor neglected garden!

So with all that in mind, I am going to continue to be strong and deny the requests to stay home and snuggle with Mama.  And Mama is going to try really hard not to mope, but instead embrace the time to rest and recouperate!

As always, thanks heaps for reading.  LLP xo Tash

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Filling in the gaps...

So there was a little bit of a jump between my 'Dam good day' on August 20th to 'Fathers Day 2020' on September 6th, and today is September the 18th so I thought I would quickly fill in the gaps.

Now let me see...

Remote Learning...

Our weekdays have been spent mostly doing remote learning with the boys.

Depite the funny face, and the fingers up in the background (cheeky shits), there has really only been one or two days that can be put in the 'this sucks balls' basket.

Even though we haven't been working to proper school time schedule, nor following the time table of subjects as they would be doing at school, the boys have managed to 'pretty much' stay on top of their work. I actually believe that during this time they have probably achieved and learnt more than they would have at school; Ace more so than Jazz as he doesn't get the one on one, someone sitting beside him the whole day helping and encouraging (like Mark and I have done), support at school.

Today is the last day of term 3 (18/9/20)...let the two weeks of school holidays begin!

As the restrictions have eased for Covid-19 in the regional areas, they are due to go back to onsite learning for Term 4 (date to be confirmed). You would think we would all be jumping for joy hey, but no! Although they miss their friends and crave the social aspect, both the boys would quite happily do another term of remote learning. Us too, although them going back to school will give me more study time! If it wasn't for the fact that Ace will be doing VCAL next year, we would have seriously contemplated moving into homeschooling. Oh well, at least having the remote learning aspect, we can say we did it, and loved it!

Uni Study...

I take Tuesdays off from being a 'teacher', to be a 'student'.

My day looks a bit like this - minus the boring household chores, eating and elimination stuff!

8.00am - 10.00am - Botany lecture (via zoom)

Quick break

10.30am - 12.30pm - Herbal Manufacturing lecture (via zoom)

Lunch time - wander the garden and get some fresh air!

2.00pm - 5.00pm - Materia Medica lecture (via zoom)

Break

6.00pm - until I simply cannot do any more!

Hahaha despite THAT face, I actually really enjoy the whole day.

I'm loving the subjects, and foraging (wildcrafting) in my own garden is ultra awesome! Do you like my fancy plant pressing setup LOL!?!

I will be honest with you, it is full on!!! I am trying really hard not to stress over it, but...

Stuff all really...

So, other than those two things, plus the normal day to day stuff like household chores, physio exercises and the odd walk out in nature (the last two are ones which I need to ensure happens more often, I've been a bit slack), as we have been in lockdown due to the Covid-19 restrictions there really isn't a great deal to share, as we've done stuff all really!

New Specks...

On August 26th, Ace and I went and got our eyes checked.  Wasn't that an interesting experience when wearing a mask that fogs up the optometry lenses - FAK!

Ace didn't require a prescription just yet but I did, and so on the 3rd of September I picked up my new 'reading only' specks!

Ace picked them out for me :)  Not fancy CK's or anything but for $45.00 (throught the VAS), I'm not complaining!

Over did it...

So after spending the day before fathers day, and also fathers day out in the garden (c'mon the weather was absolutely glorious), on Monday 7th September, I ended up paying for it!

When the f@&% will I learn that just because I can doesn't mean I should! Actually, I think the pain I felt was the icing on the cake.

Needless to say that the other half of the backyard and the front yard remains looking shabby!

Food glorious food...

I ended up getting another box of both Hello Fresh and Dinnerly so dinners have been one less thing for us to think about. As per last time, Hello Fresh wins hands down for taste.

Pictured below is pork tacos with pickled onion and crushed peanuts.

Dinnerly however, is much more affordable...this time around the meals have been a little nicer.

Picture below is Haloumi San Choy Bay with crushed cashews.

I love that Mark and the boys have been working together on Tuesday nights to make dinner!

What else...

Like I said earlier there really isn't a great deal to share. Oh wait...so as of yesterday (17/9/20) regional victoria moved steps on the road out and so that means we are now free to leave home 'just because'. It also means that elective surgery reopened AND...

Hospital booked...

As I was category 2 (within 90 days), I was one of the first to be offered a spot, which is - Friday 2nd October. Yep, in two weeks time, 15 days I will be having a Hysterecomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy! Goodbye cervical cancer cells!

What was I saying before about trying not to stress about uni stuff...eeeekkk, maybe I should drop out before concensus, BUT I have already done so much it just seems like a waste of time. I might just get the doc to fill in some forms so I can get an extension...that should work? Hmmmm, I will think it over! They said I should expect to be in hospital for about 4 days. Which means that if the boys do go back to school for start of term 4 on the 5th October I won't be home. And if they do a staggered start and they don't go back straight away I wont be able to do remote learning with them...so many thought racing in my head. It's okay, I will sort it all out!

Anyway, depite all the racing thoughts I'm glad it is happening sooner rather than later. Not only because of the trouble I've been having but also because it means that I can rest and recover and get back on my feet enough to be okay for the next foob op, which should be at the end of the year or early 2021. Oh, and hopefully in between the two, the lapband operation can happen.

So much for getting back to work anytime soon though. Not that I'm ultra keen to be in such close proximity with people with the whole covid-19 thing. Money would be good though...

Covid-19...

Well since its been mentioned a few times I thought I would share a bit more about it.

I personally have really enjoyed the lockdown phase! I love how the world has slowed down allowing me to catch my breath and just take time to get back on my feet.

Vader reminding me to take time to smell the roses...camillias!

And Simba reminding me to take time to bask in the glory of the sunlight!

It has also given us a heap of quality family time together, which is always a blessing.

The worst part for us has been not physically being able to see those we love...family, friends!

Actually, because metro is still in lockdown I still can't visit Mum!

Funniest thing though, I sent her a message today saying "I miss you". Her response, "Why? I'm not dead"!

Hahahaha trust her to put it into perspective!

She's right though, we talk every night on the phone, text throughtout the day and have a family video call once a week. How blessed we are to have modern technology...imagine if we were in lockdown without that stuff - now 'that' would be hard!

Anyway, I think that's it...so much for a quick gap filling post LOL!

I will leave you with another pic of my furbabies.

Look how much they have grown! WOW!

I will try and pop up another post before heading into hospital, and ofcourse will keep you updated also. Thanks heaps for reading my ramblings all the way to the end.

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Federation Track

Wednesday 12th August 2020

Todays walk/ride was along the Federation Track; from the end of Holts Lane (Melbourne side) to Darley Bridge, and then back again.

It was the first time that Mark had been to the track, and he found humour in the rhyming sign.

We certainly weren't aiming to break any records for furthest distance in quickest time.  It was just nice being outside away from the school books.

The boys even ditched their bikes for a second to climb a tree.

  

This was possibly inspired by stories we were sharing about tree climbing adventures earlier in the day.

How cool to see a goat on our stroll.

I love seeing my boys hang out together.  As much as it freaks me out, it is also really heart warming to watch Ace teaching and encouraging Jazz to do MTB manouvers.

How pretty is this?!

Wanna know another special thing about going for our walks?

Walking hand in hand with my sweet man!

Be sure to stay tuned to see where our feet take us next time.

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Remote Learning 2.0

Wednesday 5th August

Day 1 of remote learning saw me working with Ace and Mark helping Jazz.

Which kid do you think is more co-operative?

My talented boy happily doing his school work.

Meanwhile...music is NOT one of Aces school subjects - this is called PROCRASTINATION!  Little shit knows that because he's playing guitar I'm going to let things slide!  I so wish he took music as a subject because he's got talent, but he didn't want to 'have to' perform.

A 'its not, not coffee', 'it's hard coffee', is the perfect beverage at the end of the day.  Aka Irish Coffee oh yeah!

Tuesday 11th August

We haven't really been following the school timetable as we have a work pack so can be a little flexible.  

Because of this things have been going okay...

Well, up until today when I lost my shizzle completely at a certain Mr.16!

But, after a break from each other we were able to push past it and just get the work done.  

Have to admit, confiscating that certain someones mobile phone until it was done helped with the achievement!

Yelling, or more to the point screaming, is certainly not a behaviour I am proud of.  I plan to be more mindful of the frustration rising and just say 'stuff it'.  Whilst the work needs to get done, its just not worth the turmoil to push it like I did today.  Not to say it means he/they can be lazy.

Hopefully, like me, he has learnt from todays experience and continues to put head down, bum up and JFDI!

If he invested half the energy he uses complaining about doing the work, into the actual work, he would be finished everything by lunch time!

All jokes aside, having them at home where they are safe, makes losing fists full of hair worth it!

Tomorrows a new day...positive polly pants on!

Wednesday 12th 

We've got this, half way through the day and so far, so good!

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Nether News

When I say nether, I am indeed referring to the nether regions!  Yes, this is a Gynocological update!

On Wednesday 5th August, Mark and I made our way up to the Ballarat Base hospital. 

Whilst not as scary an experience as going to RMH, Covid-19 protocols were in place.  These included being asked a series of questions, temperature check, checkin process at the main desk, and no support people allowed.

This meant Mark had to wait in the foyer, and I was a big girl and went upstairs all on my lonesome.

Notice a mask change?  This is because every time I would smile or laugh, the elastic on the other mask would fly off my ear.  So freaking funny but not safe - so a hospital mask it was!

I didn't have to wait long before I was called in...I was the only one there.

So, here I was thinking that we would just be discussing results, filling in paperwork, and booking follow up appointments for cervical check.  Oh boy was I wrong!  He decided that we may as well do a papsmear, and take a little chunk of my insides then and there!  Wowee!  That was fun NOT!  And so starts the bleeding *sigh*.

After that, we discussed my 'cancer' risk factor based on family history (file sent from the Familial Cancer Centre (FCC)), my previous abnormal findings, and all the problems I've been experiencing.  As per the FCC, it was his recommendation to remove the uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes via laparoscopic surgery.  This is called a Total Hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. No way I can pronounce that, I have enough saying my name somedays LOL.

Anyway, I agreed, filled in the paperwork and so the admission process is now underway on a category 2, which means within 90 days.  Mind you, with elective surgery on hold due to Covid-19 when it will happen is anyones guess (unless my status changed to urgent (category 1) based on test results).

Another brief area of discussion was the possible need for pharmaceutical menopause relief (hormone replacement therapy).  At this point I enquired about whether he could/would recommend Complementary and Alterative Medicine.  His answer was, "Yes, BUT they don't work"!  Needless to say that I walked out knowing exactly what my focus area would be for any future university assessments.  As I've said in the past, I'm not a one or the other gal.  Both types are beneficial and have their place.  Used together in an integrative way, I believe you get the best of both worlds.

These are the exact words I said on Monday (10th August) when I received a phone call from the hospital.

Why?

Because, they informed me that the tube they used for my pap smear was out of date.  Which means, I need to have it done again! Wahhhh!!

Oh, and just when the bleeding stopped from the wonderful chunk removal, TTOTM started...joy of joys!

In all seriousness though, as much as they are unpleasant...early detection saves lives, so that alone makes it worth it!

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Mixed Emotions

Language warning!

Sometime in July...27th I think!

I have spent so many nights tossing and turning for several hours, so I decided to get up  (its 4.00am) and roll with the punches by acknowledging that which is doing acrobatics in my mind.  I am hoping that the process of writing it down might help to ease the anguish that has built up inside.  I am however, discovering that it is much easier said than done and I am struggling to find the words to clearly explain what I am feeling.  To say 2020 has been one that has had everyone experiencing a myriad of emotions, is a complete and total understatement.  Basically, I'm here, starring out into the abyss totally bewildered!

 

I'll be honest with ya, most of everything I'm thinking and feeling, has to do with Covid-19.  Frustratingly, it consumes/overwhelms me!  That alone, really pisses me off!  I really dislike this fear based reality I am in at the moment, it's not me!  I'm the eternal optimist, the one who believes in staying positive and in raising energy vibrations.  I do have to say though, I do not believe that 'all' of it is just me making a mountain out of a molehill.  Also, I have not lost focus of my many positives, I've just simply become a little um, rigid?!

Okay, here we go...

List of things keeping me awake!

Firstly, I am ANGRY, although pissed off is a more accurate description!  I am pissed off at the lack of compliance I've seen, read about, heard about.   Things like: 

a) people NOT social distancing!  I get its hard to not show affection when by nature we crave human to human contact,  but FFS stop the spread and stay 1.5 metres (or as far as possible) away from those you don't live with. 

I haven't seen my family since last visit as its just too hard not to give them hugs.  Same goes for my friends.  I miss them and its sad, but it is what it is, and it will pass IF people do the right thing!

b) people NOT wearing a mask -  those with medical clearance the exception!  As an asthmatic and claustrobe, I get that they suck; I feel like I'm going to faint when I wear mine.  But, I'm pretty sure a ventilator due to having contracted Covid-19 will suck more, so I wear my mask when I have to.  Basically what I'm saying is, if you don't have a valid reason just shut the fuck up and wear the damn mask!

As for those claiming the mandatory mask rule is taking away their human rights, I can't even find the words!  

Here's an idea, don't want to 'have' to wear a mask, easy fixed, just stay the fuck at home! 

c) people NOT staying at home and instead going out for more than just the four reasons; medical, food, school, work!  

Why in hell would you risk it!  Why put others at risk by 'potentially' spreading germs from place to place!

And worse, it infuriates me that people are so stupid, selfish, or both, that they don't self isolate after being tested, and instead cross suburban lines just to be arrogant c#€@s!  

Additionally, those out there carrying on about the virus not being 'real', also gets my blood boiling.  I mean, how insensitive can they be!  Especially when there are people fucking suffering and dying, from said 'fake' virus!

Secondly, I am sad for the lives lost to this horrible virus, and for those suffering.  Sad for those fighing to save others and suffering as a result. 

I'm also grieving all the missed opportunities; outings, visits with family/friends, the way things were, the simple pleasure of living life to the fullest! 

And then, the anger rises again, because if people just did what is recommended, chances are we would not be seeing, experiencing these devastating consequences.  FFS, just do what you are told!

Thirdly, I'm worried about the virus spreading further to the point of being uncontrollable.  This makes me scared for my family.  I fear them getting sick.  I fear them...I can't say it, it crossing my mind is bad enough!

My Mum is still working at Bunnings, which really stresses me out as so many customers just dont give a shit about others!  I am also feeling sad for Mum given she is by herself.  I know she is missing her grand kids and talking to them via video call just makes that feeling stronger, but as hard as it is, its for the best.  If she ends up stopping work, I might just bring forward her move into the bungalow.  Or maybe, I could just go do a carer visit. 

I'm worried/anxious about my nephew and niece, and my two boys having to go to school.  Remembering, we are both in a regional zone, so kids are technically supposed to be at school.  Personally, I think they should be doing remote learning like Metro kids!  I know its not easy, but its so worth the headache knowing the kids are safe at home!  Theres another thing that gets my goat...people who bitch and whinge about having their kids home!

A reason I believe remote learning should be in place, is because at school there is no social distancing expectations.  Is it any wonder that kids aren't following the guidelines on the weekends and instead posting pictures of themselves huddled together with arms around each other.  Just another thing that has pissed me off,  c'mon, why are parents allowing it FFS!

Monday 3rd August

It is 2.00pm and I am eagerly awaiting Dan Andrews breaking news announcement on TV.  I am hoping that "strict" stage 4 restrictions are put in place for  both Metro and Regional Victorians (or at least Shires with over a certain number of Covid-19 cases; say like 10+).

  

Okay, it is 3.00pm and Dan Andrews (The Premier) has declared Victoria 'A State of Disaster'.  

In a nutshell, other changes which will run for six weeks, until September 13, include:

*  Melbourne: 

From tonight there will be a curfew.  You must be home between 8.00 p.m. - 5.00 a.m.

Only one person from each household allowed out to shop once per day. 

 

Recreational activities are no longer allowed.  There is a one hour limit outdoors.  No more than two people allowed.

No one allowed to travel more than a five km. radius of their home.

  

*  Regional Victoria:

From Midnight, Wednesday 5th, stage three restrictions will be enforced and remote learning will commence. Aka, back to how it was in March!

* Generally:

 

No impact on supermarkets and similar.  Despite this, people have started going crazy and panic buying again.

More restriction details such as business closures will be revealed tomorrow.  Well, technically today as it is now 4.20am  on Monday 3rd.  Yup, still feeling all the 'feels' and as such, I can't sleep!

I am happy with the tougher restrictions BUT...

Personally, I think we should ALL be in lockdown, as when you give an inch, people take a mile and If people don't follow whatever is put in place, then we will continue to be screwed for longer than needed! 

Make it so we cannot leave our homes at all (emergency medical care the exception)!

Want fresh air, step out your front or back door, or open a window.  

Get the defense force to provide food/care boxes - everyone gets the same thing and that way panic buying is no longer a problem.  

As for those who get caught breaking the rules, forget a fine, lock em' up in an old warehouse somewhere...back to bread and water, bed on straw, non covid and covid all together with no medical help provided - I mean it doesn't exist right so they shouldn't care!  Concentration camp style comes to mind, which makes me ashamed of myself, but they just make me so angry!

Whilst the above may be a bit harsh (good reason I'm not Premier), I truly do believe that the tougher restrictions are the only way to eradicate this virus, and for life to get back to some kinda normal again sooner rather than later!  

Saturday 8th August

So far I've pretty much only focused on those things that make me feel not ok!  But despite these, or more to the point as well as these, there has been many moments of gratitude.

During these strange unprecedented times I am grateful for:

- Guilt free time off work to recover

- My kittens

- Time with my precious family of four.

- My husband's hilarious banter

- Social Media 

- Netflix/Stan

- Telehealth/Zoom Meetings

- Online Shopping

- Those doing the right thing

- Talented mask making friends 

- Living in regional Victoria

- Telephone calls/messages

- Medicine (both natural and pharmaceutical)

- Check in messages from friends

- Books, Crafts, shit to keep busy with LOL

The list goes on really!

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