New Years Eve 2020

Friday 31st December 2020

I think its safe to say that 2020 will go down in the history books as the unforgettable year of social change. The year that forced us all to adapt to a new 'pandemic' reality; touching all of us in unique ways - lockdown/isolation, restrictions, social distancing, remote learning, telehealth appointments, mandatory mask wearing, over usage of hand sanitiser, travel bans/border closures, a divided state, and panic buying to name a few.

Whilst many things about 2020 were downright shitty both on a personal (it has been the year of plumbing issues for us) and global level (not at all an ideal time for a loo paper shortage), there were many positives to focus upon.  The biggest of those for me personally is the shift to a lower gear.  Whilst many found the hiatus difficult to navigate, I was thankful that I was ground to a halt.  In facing my own set of challenges which at times felt like they came hard and fast, one after the other (random hospitalisation, myriad of medical tests, mastectomy/reconstruction, triple infection, wound opening, rehospitalisation, further surgeries, severe pain, recovery process, Mark hospitalised,  pneumonia, abnormal cervical scan, hysterectomy, premature menopause, anemia, and drug detox to name a few) the change of pace allowed time for guilt free much needed rest, recovery, and quality time with my family including our new kitties; the best medicine ever!

I sit here reflecting on the 365 days that have past, feeling a little gobsmacked and relieved; there is certainly no denying it/I was a hot mess, but I got through - we all did!

I have to say that like so many, I am looking forward to closing the book on 2020, and starting 2021 on a blank page and a whole new chapter.  As I have said before though, I hold no false hope that everything will magically become 'perfect and covid-19 free' at the striking of the clock at midnight.  Life will simply be what it is, until it is something else, and hopefully just as we have already successfully done, we will all continue to put one foot in front of the other to get through the other side!  

If this year has taught me anything at all, it is to be genuinely grateful for the smallest of blessings, and to always have hope in a better tomorrow.  As the saying goes, what lies ahead is far greater than anything we leave behind, and with a positive mind and an open heart anything is possible!

Whilst my amazing three boys are my pillars of strength, I honestly don’t think I would have gotten through this year as unscathed if it were not for the weekly zoom chats, social media interaction, texts/calls, random goodie drops and the treasured catchups with family and friends that were actually possible.  Thank you all for helping me through the shit storm of 2020!

And now for my traditional closing...

Whatever 2021 may have in store, I am praying for it to be filled with an abundance of love, light, and peace for us all!

LOVE that is unconditional and unlimited!

LIGHT that makes the shadows disappear and guides our way!

PEACE of mind that brings a stillness to the soul!

How blessed I am to see the end of another year and welcome in a new one!

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Hot Mess City

Hey there, been a while!  Can you believe that this friday (13/11) it will be six whole weeks since my hysterectomy?  Six (plus) weeks of being a mega hot mess! 

Remember how in an earlier post I mentioned that my haemaglobin levels were up the creek, and I needed to visit GP to figure out what to do next?

Well, on Friday 9th October I did indeed go to GP and had bloods taken...

Then, on Monday 12th October my GP called and said that I didn't need a blood transfusion as my haemoglobin level was steady at 85.  

My iron level on the other hand, was so low it was not even registering (yes, despite supplements).  Given this, an urgent request for an iron transfusion to be done at the BM hospital was sent.

Still smiling despite feeling like crap!

On Tuesday 13th October, despite my GPs pleas, the BM hospital could not do the infusion for me as I didn't fit the changed covid times eligibility (by 5 freaking points; need to be 80 or under); remembering the hospital administration is in Melton (metro).  

Anywho, it was a good thing I was at the docs when they called as even though she couldn't get me on the list, she could fax a new urgent referral to Ballarat. 

Another day, another medical waiting room.

Here we were all hopeful they would get me in the following week..., um nup - the urgent wait list was weeks long.  Sigh, patience is not my strongest attribute!!!

Whilst waiting ever so 'impatiently' I spent my time resting, resting, oh and yep, resting!  Yes, yes, I know that is exactly what I needed to help with recovery!  

Mind numbing rest!  

In all honesty though, if I could have gotten up without feeling like crappola, I would have.  But almost non existent iron levels equals very little oxygen to blood, which equals fatigue, and dizziness, and nausea, and general blahness!  

Thank goodness for netflix, social media and my fur babies is all I can say!  

Anyway there I was resting away when BAM, massive toothache!  So on Thursday 22nd October, I visited the dentist next door.  45 minutes and $350.00 later my tooth was extracted OUCH! 

Anywho, the tooth pain finally settled and things were going okay...well as okay as can be considering iron levels blah blah.  Then on the morning of Saturday 7th November I woke up to the room spinning at warp speed.  Fast forward to Sunday 8th where I ended up in the BM ER diagnosed with Vertigo...eeewwww so sick!

After getting it somewhat under control (another pill to add to my collection FARK ME, thank goodness for probiotics), home I went!

The next day Monday 9th November I had to go into the Woman's hospital to see my breast surgeon.

All is okay and I'm on track for next breast op (liposuction/sculpting/grafting/scar reduction) within the next six months.  

And here we are, finally iron infusion day - Tuesday 10th November.   Considering I have been looking forward to this day for 4 weeks (longer really) I was ultra bloody nervous;  once candula was in I settled down though!

Oooh I forgot to mention that on Tuesday 27th October I had my final Psych appointment with Leah, whereby she revealed that she had nicknamed me 'Trooper'.  Have to admit, after writing this, (and thinking back on my year) I think its quite fitting!

Well thats that, now I wait a week or two for the iron to kick in. Have to get bloods taken again around 6-12 weeks and go from there.

I do have to say though, as much as I am still not fully pain free and back on my feet from the hysterectomy, I am hoping that my lapband operation (unflip port and take out fluid) happens sooner rather than later *fingers crossed*..., as I am so sick of spewing after every meal.  LOL, that is a turn up for the books coming from the (ex)bullimic huh!

OK thats enough for now, thanks for checking in, LLP Me aka Trooper Tash, not to be mistaken for Tripper hehehe xo

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October Blessings

Monday 26th October 2020

Heres a little poem from my best friend, my soul mate, my lover, my husband...

After a night of fun, when we first met.

Did I think that you might be the One? Hmmm... You bet!!

Being kept in the "friend zone"? Well, I didn't mind!

But ALL the nay-sayers, I said kiss my behind!!

For me it was simple; Twas love at "first sight".

But you took a while to admit it was right!

I'm ever so glad I rode down for some beers

Even though you were SURE I was "King of the Queers"!!

What a blast it has been; best of "mates" for 6 years!

We've seen lots of triumphs and a fair whack of tears.

I'm glad you accepted my Facebook request.

Of all my friends, Denigirl, you are the best!!

So, thankyou My love, for becoming my wife...

I look forward to spending the rest of our life

Together, forever, whatever the weather

Knowing our love cannot EVER be severed!!

ILYSVMMBBBBNAF!!

Before

Wednesday 28th October 2020

To the man who has made all my wishes come true,

I am sending the biggest heartfelt wishes to you.

I hope that today you feel like a King,

As just like court jesters today we all sing.

Happy birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to our Marky,

Happy Birthday to you!

Whilst I've been unable to go buy you a gift,

I have booked you in somewhere special to give you a lift.

I hope you enjoy your time to sit back and be pampered,

But most of all I pray all your wishes are answered.

Please head on down to @yobarbershop this afternoon at 2.30,

I look forward to you coming home looking all purty!

Happy Birthday baby we love you xo

After

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Back to school...

Monday 12th October

As covid-19 case numbers are low here in regional Victoria, it was declared by those in power, that all kids are to go back to onsite learning.

Today is their first day...

Have to be real with you here, as much as it means I get to have a proper rest, Mark can maybe get stuff done, and the boys get to see their mates, "we" aren't really all that excited about it.  Alas, off they went, but there were no happy dances here!

Thankfully the masks hide their distain!  Mind you, wearing them all day is not at all appealing, despite being a neccesity for safety.

I know I haven't been working due to having the ops and then the recovery process, but given the whole covid stuff, I would of stopped work anyway to make the boys my priority...I've always said they come first!   Therefore, their safety is paramount, and if that means keeping them home and us having to do the schooling, well it is totally worth the lack of rest or work not getting done. 

In saying that, it is possible that part of our lack of joy jumping is due to fear.  Whilst I don't feel it is totally unwarranted, we currently have no active cases here in regional Vic, so that is a positive and eases the anxiousness.  If there were active cases here in Bacchus Marsh we would have certainly reconsidered sending them.  Actually, should circumstances change, they'll get their wish and be staying home again.  As much as we loved having them home, heres hoping that doesn't happen hey!

And there's another reason we aren't all that thrilled about school returning; we have enjoyed our family time together at home.  Not to say we have lived in each others pockets, no siree, we each like our own space and company too much for that.  But, the times we've all been together has been special; whether it be schooling, walks, movies and snuggles, or just chit chatting about this, that, and the other.

Whilst I like being involved in their education and knowing exactly what they are learning, it has admittedly been more so when we have not been homeschooling.  As I've said before, patience isn't my strongest attribute and Ace tends to procrastinate and give up before actually trying; a pet peeve of mine (I have a long list of those...a whole other blog)!  

In saying that though, there were days that were absolute gems, where all the praise and encouragement saw them rise above all challenges.  My favourite part of all is watching them put head down and bum up and having those aha moments when they 'get it' and are then filled with a tremendous sense of empowerment, which inspires them to do more.

Yet again time has flown and it is now Monday 19th October and the 2nd week of onsite learning for term 4.  

The first week went well, although truth be told, from Wednesday they both asked each day to stay home.  It took all my strength to be strong and say no!  But as much as I would love them home, school is important for them.  Also, rest is important for me (there will be a blog coming about that soon)  And, I need Marky to get some shit done out in my poor neglected garden!

So with all that in mind, I am going to continue to be strong and deny the requests to stay home and snuggle with Mama.  And Mama is going to try really hard not to mope, but instead embrace the time to rest and recouperate!

As always, thanks heaps for reading.  LLP xo Tash

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