Happiness / Control

August 26th

The meditation for today as per the Meditations For Woman Who Do Too Much book by Anne Wilson Schaef, is about Happiness / Control.

"They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods" - Edith Waharton

"Happiness is a gift.  It comes like 'a butterfly in the winter woods'.  Let it sit with us a while".

I have a quote up on my living room wall that says "Happiness is not a destination it's a way of life" and every day when I see it, regardless of the daily struggles I may be facing it helps to remind me to be 'happy' and 'thankful' for the positive blessings that are in my life at that present moment. 

If you have read my previous blogs you may have seen one called MY HAPPINESS GOALS. This is a list of things that I need to do in my life NOW in order to be HAPPY on all levels Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, Spiritually and Essentially. 

Does this mean I'm not happy now because I am yet to accomplish those things? No! It simply means I am choosing to work towards a higher level of happiness that I am currently experiencing.

Sounds a little contradictory hey? Let me try and explain it a better.

From a scientific approach 60% of our genes determine our happiness level and the other 40% is up to us.  I am however going to choose to skip over that thought for the simple fact that I believe that science is an ever evolving thing and, also because it could open up a huge debate that I am not willing to enter into at this point in time.

The definition of happy is: the state of being happy, defined by positive emotions of joy, contentment, satisfaction, bliss, euphoria...

It is a sociological belief that happiness is the only worthy emotion and that the rest are signs of a weak character.  So if we were to remove all the other emotions and amplify only the pleasures in our life everyone would just automatically be happy right? Wrong! How can we know true happiness if we don't also know what makes us feel the opposite - sadness. 

Even if we were to only have those pleasures in our life, it is our innate human nature to still want them to be better or to achieve something greater, and as a result we become more unstuck.

It is important to see the whole tapestry of our reality in order for happiness to be attained.

If we know that happiness is not:

- only experincing positive emotions and feeling good all the time

- something brought with money / an accumulation of stuff

- a final destination

What then is it and how do we experience it?

The key intention is to simply be happy - it is a choice that we make.

- To show gratitude for what we have, whether that be a possession or persons 

- To cultivate a sense of purpose, belonging, optimism

- To practise deliberate acts of kindness; nurturing; forgiveness of both yourself and others

- To genuinely and graciously savour all of life’s joys; be an active participant in the mosaic of our life

- To practise mindfulness; taking care of your needs on all levels mind, body and soul

I could enter into each of the points above in more detail but in short....

Happiness is not a one size fits all approach.  We, each of us have the power to take control of our state of being; to choose our thoughts, our behaviours, the direction of our life.

It is about being present and observing the NOW moment.