Perhaps there are other questions peeking out from behind what comes next?
What do I enjoy doing?
What makes my heart happy?
Not because I've lost myself.
Far from it.
Studying towards my dream gives me purpose.
Being a "super" mum gives me purpose.
Being an "attentive wife gives me purpose.
Caring for others gives me purpose.
And therein lies the paradox.
The things that give me purpose are also the very things that can stretch me thin.
Not because they are burdens.
But because the things we give ourselves wholeheartedly to inevitably ask something of us in return.
And truth be told, I'll study again.
Learning is part of who I am.
Just perhaps not with the same intensity or all-consuming capacity.
There will be other goals.
There always are.
Maybe the next season simply looks a little different.
A little more balanced.
A little more spacious.
Perhaps that's why I find myself wondering what else might flourish when there is a little more room in my days.
Not to replace the things that give my life meaning.
Simply to sit alongside them.
I know I love writing and music, and especially when the two come together.
I also love deep conversations, laughing till I almost pee, road trips with no destination, and moments that remind me how beautiful ordinary life really is.
But perhaps there are things I don't even know I love yet.
Things I simply haven't had the time or space to discover.
Perhaps I don't need to find something else at all.
Maybe I simply need to make more room for the things that are already there.
For so much of life, we focus on reaching the next milestone.
The next achievement.
The next season.
The next version of ourselves.
But maybe this season is inviting me to pause before rushing towards another.
To appreciate how far I've come.
To make space for the things I love.
To embrace the season I'm in.
The doorway is there.
A new chapter is waiting.
And maybe it isn't asking me to have all the answers.
Maybe it's simply asking me to embrace whatever comes next, whether it arrives as certainty or exploration, stillness or a gentle swaying ebb and flow.
L, L, P xo
