Day 2, Week 2 Aim to Change

I lost 500grams, which isn't much but is still a loss and so therefore still something to =) about.

Whilst I am happy that it is a win I know that had I not veered slightly off the track over the past couple of days it would of been a better result.  But, in saying that I know that I am allowing myself to enjoy life and to not deprive myself in the hopes that it will prevent a binge sesh - which has worked thus far.

So let me tell you about my day....

I did my very first Tummy, Hips and Thighs class this morning and survived 60 minutes of ouchiness.  And!! Even managed to do a Boxing Class straight after it where I was praised for a good intensity level - gotta love compliments.  So it was 2 hours of intense exercise and 1294 calories burnt - WOW Go me! 

So if you follow this blog you might be thinking 'but I thought you said no double sessions' and you would be correct in thinking so.  However I made an exception because for the first time in I can't even remember I worked out with my little sister Marketta (Skeet) and I LOVED IT.  We don't get to spend alot of time together and have little in common and so to be able to share something I am passionate about with her was an incredible feeling.

After Gym I went shopping for fruit and vegies but am dissappointed to say that I made a 'moment of weakness' buy at the register of a 'Cherry Ripe'.  It didn't even hit me until it was devoured and then the guilts started.  In the past I would of beat myself up over and over agiain but, instead I decided to just own it, get over it and get back on track. 

It was such a beautiful day today and so I walked to school and picked up the boys.  They weren't too impressed about having to walk (rather than ride their scooter) but we talked the whole way and played a game of not stepping on the cracks and we were home in no time.

Tonights Fitness Class was about Business stuff and I picked up a few good tips.  I only have 1 more class left and then I can just focus on getting my modules completed.  I have to admitt that I am feeling as though I have bitten off way more than I chew (AGAIN) but I will get there!

Well I had better finish up so that I can get some sleep as tomorrow I have a 30 minute PT session and after it I am going to do Cycle with Skeet.

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Day 6, Week 1 - Aim to Change

My body is so tired right now that even typing is a struggle, suprisingly though my mind is still feeling pretty good - proving I don't have to think too much LOL!

Here a quick catch up...

Thursday

Exercise - An awesome 60 minute Fat Blaster class

Food - Under 1200 Calories and had 5 lollies as a treat.  They were delicious and I am so proud of myself for not eating the entire packet.

I wagged school tonight, not for any reason other than I just couldn't be stuffed!

Friday

Exercise - 45 minute workout with IFW which saw me run 2 full laps of the athletic track, do 1200 jab crosses, plus deadlifts, duckwalks, burpees, sprints, squats and ofcourse lunges.  Let me just say that my Hamstrings are killing me!

Food - Not the best of days but not as bad as today.

I had a gig tonight for the NEW HOPE CAMBODIA campaign and so I was treated to a delicious Cambodian 3 course meal which consisted of:

Entree: Papaya, Carrot and Mango Salad Ball

Main: Chicken Curry and Rice

Dessert: Rice Balls with Ice Cream and Berry Sauce

It was a fantastic evening and I came home feeling very fulfilled :)

And that brings me to TODAY!

This weekend consists of an Intensive Massage Workshop which runs from 9am - 4pm and I find them to be mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting but rewarding at the same time.

Food:  My son Ace (7yrs) cooked me 'Egg, Bacon and Vegie Pie' for dinner tonight (with help from Mum) and although it was totally high in calories I couldn't (wouldn't) say "No sorry mate but Mummy can't eat it because shes on a diet".   So I ate it and it was delicious.  I am so proud of him and it felt lovely to be spoilt just because he loves me :)

With that said todays food intake hasn't been the best but, it could of been worse.  I have decided not to dwell on the negatives or to beat myself up because the week as a whole has been positive! 

Exercise:  Despite getting home and just wanting to have a shower and crawl into bed I made myself do a 45 minute workout.  Luckily Glenn agreed to holding the mitts for me and after some persuasion offered some encouragement to push me a little harder.  I have to admitt that I felt much better mentally after it.

10 rounds

5 x Star Jumps

5 x Squats

20 x Jab Cross

10 rounds

5 x Dips

5 x Push Ups

20 x Upper Cuts

200 Hooks

20 rounds

4 x Jab Cross

4 x Uppers

4 x Hooks

1000 Jab Crosses (non stop)

25 each leg Hip Abductions

15minutes - Abs

I have Yoga in the morning and am hoping that someone actually turns up because its getting a little disheartening.

Oh well time to just chill for the evening, will write again soon!

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Fat, Skinny, and Inbetween!

Just wanted to share a thought...

OK so I know that I don't have as much to lose as others do, and that realistically where I am isn't that bad in comparrison but it totally sucks to have lost weight and experienced 'skinny' and to now feel 'fat' again. Emotionally for me it is worse than just being fat because at least then I didn't know what it felt like to be skinny. But knowing what its like to be skinny and then to be here - inbetween both of them, well its torture!

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Day 3, Week 1 - Aim To Change

Its Day 3 and so far I am doing OK.

I have gone over my 11.30pm lights out curfew once - which considering I am a night owl and usually still up at 2am, that is pretty good.

I haven't been drinking enough water so I plan to be more conscious of that and fix it.

I did my BMR calculations today and it worked out to approx. 1500 calories for a 1kg loss per week.  I am currently averaging 1200 which means that I could afford to come up a little.  You can view my Food Diary  HERE.

Exercise wise I am right on track....

Monday - 45minutes of Impact Boxing

Tuesday - 30 minutes of Swimming, 10 minutes Treadmill (6mins@6kph / 4mins@8kph Jog), 2 rounds of Medicine ball throw downs and Step Ups, 20 Medicine Ball Ab Throws.

Wednesday - 45 minute Spin Class

I am so proud of myself for todays Spin efforts.  Not only because I have figured out how not to get a sore toosh (padded bike pants AND padded bike seat) but also because I was stood up by my Gym Buddies and still stayed and did the class anyway.  I think my 'frustration and pissed off energy' helped as fuel to burn more calories LOL!  I am so glad that I stayed because it was a new program based on cycling to the beat of the music and I really enjoyed it. 

Well thats it for now, got lots of study to get done as I have a Massage workshop this weekend!

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Day 1, Week 1 of AIM TO CHANGE Challenge!!

Today I joined a 12 week challenge on Facebook called 'AIM TO CHANGE'.  Put simply its an online weight loss group with the focus being on helping to inspire and motivate each other to work towards achieving our individual goals. 

Although I know that I said 'No more challenges', I feel that this one is different in the sense that it isn't a competition against any one else, no fees were paid and no prizes will be won other than reaching my goals.  I am also feeling stronger and am determined not to fall back into negative patterns of self abuse.

One thing that has been playing on my mind though is that its yet ANOTHER challenge and as we all know my track record hasn't exactly been one that has seen me completeing 'all' of them BUT 'No one really fails if they are willing to try again' and so try again I shall!

MY GOALS for the next 12 weeks:

Lose .5 to 1 kg per week (6 - 12kg)

Follow a Healthy Nutrition Plan

Drink at least 1 litre of water per day

Do 5 X Gym/Training Sessions per week 

Get adequate rest (lights out by 11.30pm)

Update Calorie King everyday

Blog Regulary (at least twice a week)

Allow myself a Free Meal each week

Allow myself to enjoy life within reason

No under eating, No overtraining, No binging, No purging.

Celebrate and congratulate myself on the 'wins' (big and small)

Here are the starting stats.  I am so embarrassed to share these and I promise myself that this will be the last time that I ever look this hideous.

You can view my Food Intake HERE. 

Today's Exercise was a 45minute group boxing class which I really struggled with as I am still really sore from Commando Training; but I pushed through and even did squats!!

Read more "Day 1, Week 1 of AIM TO CHANGE Challenge!!"

Sunday 22 May 2011

Despite yesterdays awesome achievement I am now (and have been for a couple of weeks) feeling like a good year blimp and am so uncomfortable in my own skin its not funny.  I am sad and miserable and I don't like feeling this way.  My exercise is relatively under control but I have gone well and truly off the rails with my nutrition  (binge eating like crazy - not even for emotional comfort) and the only person to blame is myself.  I could give you reason after reason as to why I have let myself slip but at the end of the day they don't mean a thing.  It all comes down to the fact that if I don't want to feel this way anymore the only person that can change it is me! 

I have 9 weeks until my sisters engagement party and the dress I brought to wear is a SNUG Size 14 (Diana Ferrari Op Shop Bargain $5.00 Retail Price $179).  I would like it to fit a lot less snuggly so I can go out feeling comfortable and beautiful. 

I have 10 weeks until I get my knee operated on and as I will be out of action for 6-8 weeks it is so important that I get things in check now to make it easier for me to maintain my weight during that time.

Ok despite being determined to make this happen, I have some concerns about falling back into my negative obsessive self destructive patterns.  I DON'T WANT TO OVERTRAIN so that means no Double Sessions and at least 1 rest day.  On a personal note I need to go to Genesis at least 2-3 times per week to make it worthwhile keeping my membership!  I DON'T WANT TO UNDEREAT so that means sticking to my calorie intake and allowing myself a 'treat' (within reason) and having a 'Free Day' once a week without feeling guilty about it!

On top of the concerns I have I am also feeling like everyone will be saying 'Here she goes again' which as much as I know it shouldn't bother me of late even that has gotten the better of me.  For example...My mum called me 'Fat' last week and then came into coles and took the Ice-cream out of my trolley saying that I don't need it.  Marianne has said several times this week that I should be put out to pasture because of my numerous illnesses/injuries.  Glenn keeps giving me crap about having sugar in my tea rather than equal.  I know that these are really trivial and that they don't mean to be nasty (well I hope that to be the case), I just wish they could be supportive without puttng me down to do it.

Anyway another thing I am finding hard is not having a PT session at the Gym as they really help to keep me motivated and push me that little further - especially with resistance training.  Our finances are so stretched at the moment and we just can't afford it.

Well there it is all out of my head which now leaves me free to focus on the bigger picture! 

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I went COMMANDO!!

I trained with the man himself Steve 'Commando' Willis and I survived!!

Despite it being tough and totally challengeing I am so glad that I did it as it was truly an experience of a lifetime and one that I would do again in a heart beat even though today I am in a world of 'ouchness'.

I won't lie, there were times when I questioned what the hell I was thinking and also times when I wanted to throw my hands in the air and quit but I pushed myself hard and gave it everything I had and I am so proud of myself for that.

I have to say that 'Commando Steve' is such a nice guy and a true inspiration.  I was expecting to be yelled at and belittled but he did nothing but raise us up and motivate us to be all that we could be and I don't mind being called a Princess LOL!  Oh and yes, he is totally gorgeous (much better looking than on tele and taller too) and talk about muscle on muscle - oooh la la.

So I met the girls at 10.30am in Maddingly Carpark (after doing a quick dash to the train station for a nervous pee hehehe), and then we hit the road.  We got to HRV Fitness at around 11.30am (Grove Street, Grovedale - Geelong), Registered, got T-shirted up, caught up with Erin our aweomse Genesis Fat Blasting Trainer and then hung around nervously for an hour before the action started.

And boy did it start....we were ordered to make 2 lines of 15 one behind the other and then number ourselves off (this involved yelling out our number), then we hit the pavement and jogged down to the park.

Here the Warm up began which was us jogging in a big cirlce this way, then that way, then sideways, then with high knees, then hitting the deck with head in, then hitting the deck with head out, then more of the same!!  I had barely even managed to hit the deck at one point before he called out jog again LOL!

Next, it was 'deep' Squat time, followed by Push Ups and then yep you guessed it Burpees!  Then we put it all together in the form of Tabata Training.  He corrected my Squat technique once which was no suprise - I didn't push my knees out far enough.  I have to say though that considering my knees are stuffed I was suprised that I managed to get down as low as I did and get back up again LOL.

And just when you thought it was time for drink break think again.....It was rope time!

2 teams of 15 on each rope and 4 exercises.  1.  Bear Crawl on hands and 'feet' walking the rope out in front of us  2.  Push Ups with chest to the rope  3.  Sit Ups staring with the rope at our chest and taking it to our feet (This was my favourite exercise which was also helped by the fact that he gave me the nod of approval when I was yelling out my numbers) 4.  Squat with Shoulder Press, holding the rope at the chest for the squat and then taking it straight up over our head.

Next (still no drink break), it was Sprint and walk, Lunge and Walk, Sprint and walk, Lunge and Walk and then Sprint again.  I was so exhausted by this point and my knees were killing me but I was determined not to give up on the sprints so it was more like a jog until....I was pepped up by him saying 'come on, push harder you can do it' and YES I could! 

Then finally we were allowed a 90 second drink break - so that meant running to the drinks, taking a quick gulp and then running back again.

Ok so now the fun begins...or should I say the torture.

In our 2 teams of 15, we had to put tyres on the rope (5 small, 1 big and 1 massive) and then pull it all to the end of the paddock.  I was at the front of the line with the rope tied around me pulling as hard at I could and trying to keep up a rhythm - when we got closer to our finishing point I decided sing Do wah diddy, I have no idea if anyone sang along but it helped me focus LOL!

Then we had to get the tyres off the rope and carry the tyres and rope 1/4 of the way.  Our team got a penalty of 5 burpees which sucked big time.

But wait theres more...we had to put the tyres all back on again, tie a knot and get down on our butts and pull as hard as we could on the rope to move the tyres and get them back to the starting line.  Because we were pulling on the rope, when the tyres were pulled to the person in front of the line they had to do a 'commando' crawl to the back of the line and then pull again, and so on. 

Once we got back to the starting line we had to stack up the tyres, curl up the rope and then we were done.

90 minutes worth of Commando torture complete.

I got some war wounds....

A bag of goodies....

A my T-shirt signed...

And of course a huge feeling of accomplishment which is worth its weight in gold.

Read more "I went COMMANDO!!"

Sunday 15 May 2011

Well this week has been a bit like dancing the Cha Cha - One step forward and then one step back.  Unfortunately though from Friday onwards there have been more backward steps than forward ones but as the saying goes its never too late to start again (and again and again hmmm).  On a positive - health wise I am feeling much better =).  

I only had 2 at my Yoga Class this morning but I really enjoyed it being more personalised - I love sharing my knowledge with others and helping them on their journey!  The class is being watched though to see if its worth continuing with it or not (from a financial point of view) so hopefully numbers will increase again but the time slot isn't too appealing and its cold - excuses really.

Anyway I don't really have much else to write and I am in chill out Sunday evening mode and so am going to go and put my feet up.  The week ahead holds much of the usual maddness as well as me doing Parent Helper tomorrow - wish me luck with that one!

Oooh there is only 6 more sleeps until I train with the COMMANDO!

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Wednesday May 11, 2011

I am very happy with my effort at Gym today =).  I did 15 minutes of Interval training on the treadmill at a 1% incline and a speed of 12kph (1min sprint /1 min rest).  After that I did 30 minutes of upper body resistance and finished off with a cool down on the bike. 

Todays session also helped me to decide to go ahead with the Commando Training session - I had been worried that my fitness level wasn't high enough but I know that I will kick myself if I don't at least give it a try and besides that I can only give what I can give - hopefully I'm not the unfitest one there :o/

Food wise today it wasn't perfect as we had McDonalds for lunch (I had a caesar wrap, small fries and diet coke) but I am not beating myself up as it was a nice treat and its not as though I pigged out on 'majorly' bad choices.

I had a lapband adjustment today (.5ml put in) and so far I haven't noticed much difference other that the usual feelng of nausea that I get afterwards as well as discomfort from being jabbed.  I am hoping that it will make a difference, although I know that I have to be the one to do all the hard work and I am prepared to do so.

On a personal note I visted my cousin Renee today who gave me all of her beading goodies and so my spark for making beautiful jewellery has been reignited - I can't wait to set up shop again and start selling my creations.

Anyway thats all for now as I need to head in and update Calorie King, even with the McDonalds I am confident that I am still within my calorie and nutritional range.

BACK AGAIN:
Just worked out my calories and I am over by 91 which is a cup of chai, still not kicking myself which is a very big milestone - there is hope for this obsessive old duck yet LOL!

You can view my food diary HERE

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Tuesday 10 May 2011

Well I am happy to report that I am 'up and at em' again and although I am not at back to my usual 'flat out plus some' pace it is still better than nothing.  I will admitt though, that I have gotten frustrated at myself these past 2 days as my fitness level has decreased.  In saying that though, I know that it is only temporary and that once my health is back on track my fitness level will increase again.  The main thing is that I am up and moving and not letting it beat me.  I have also gotten my nutrition back on track which I am really proud of as I was afraid that I wouldn't have enough will power to turn it around. 



Yesterday I went to the podiatrist and she gave me some orthopedic inserts.  I have to wear them in gradually (whilst not exercising) over the next couple of weeks and go back for a review late in June.  Fingers crossed that they will work and take some of the pain in my heels away.

Well that's it from me for now as its time to head off to school! 

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Sunday May 8 2011

Firstly, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to all the special Mums out there and especially to my Mum of whom I would be lost without.  I love you very much. xox

Secondly, I wanted to talk about todays Daily Challenge. 

Stand in front of the mirror and say at least one thing you like about the way you look.

It's a little sad to think that we need to be reminded to do something like this and sadder still to think that a fair amount of us would find it a difficult task to do. I personally find it easier to focus on the negatives, rather than to pay myself a compliment and risk sounding egotistical and vain!

The last time that I 'consciously stopped' and noticed the things I like about myself was back in 1999 when I did a Self Love Mirror exercise. It was such a powerful process for me that it inspired me to write a song. (You can listen to it HERE).

Todays challenge reminded me of the words that I wrote and I have spent time reflecting on it again.

Flowing hair of aurban cascading locks of curls, surrounds your cherub face and sends my mind in swirls. Green eyes that sparkle like oceans of the deep, jewels that are precious but rarely do we keep. Her voice can mesmerise sweetness divine and pure, It echos through the shadows in a world we all endure. Through rose coloured glasses alls not what it seems, What lingers in the darkness belongs only in our dreams. A star for each saviour, A song for every soul, A heart for every lover and an Angel for me.

For me personally beauty really is about whats on the inside, someone could be a perfect 10 and have a cold heart , I on the other hand am happy being a 7.5 with a heart that could warm the nation!

Read more "Sunday May 8 2011"

Friday May 6, 2011

Well there is still no marathon event in sight for me but I do feel a little bit better and I have to admitt that alot of the reason for that is because I was able to get up and move around more today (within reason ofcourse and always with my trusty ventolin inhaler right beside me).  So other than managing to do some of my housework and a small grocery shop, I also instructed a group training session which was the highlight of my entire day - actually make that entire week!  I feel so happy when I am helping people achieve their goals - even when they do complain about what I get them to do hehe!  Admittedly right now I am exhausted and my chest feels like a brick is on top of it, but at least I am smiling (oh and all I did was show them how to do each move - imagine if I did the session oh boy!). 

Tummy, Hips and Thighs with a Cardio Element!

Warm up - 'Grass' Hill Climbs

Powerwalk up (down recovery)

Jog up (down recovery)

Sprint up (down recovery)

Rest

Jog up (down recovery)

Sprint up (down recovery

Rest

Sprint up (down recovery)

Round 1 X 3sets

1. Tight Squats with leg abduction - arms held in front X 10each
2. Run with arms up above head (length of concrete - to sand)

3. Static Lunge with Glute Raise X 10 each leg

4. Brazzillian Crunch (Ext arm plank - bring knee to chest) X 20

Minimal to no rest between sets increasing effort with each set.

REST

Round 2 X 3 sets

1. Burpees X 10 (Got Millisa to do side taps)

2. Sumo Squat, Reverse Lateral Lunge, Kick X 10 each
3. Ext arm plank with alternate arm reach X 10 each

Mininimal to no rest between sets increasing effort with each set.

Round 3

Sumo Squat HOLDS plus Pulses X 3

Stretches.

Todays DAILY CHALLENGE was to send someone that you care about a random message - I sent mine to my Step Dad because I am often slack in staying in touch with him so I wanted to let him know that I think of him often.

Tomorrow I have a compulsory Fitness Instruction workshop to attend which runs from 9.30am - 4.30pm and I have a feeling that I will be extra exhausted afterwards so its feet up and early night for me! xox

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Thursday May 5 2011

I went back to the Doctors again today and suprise suprise I have an infection on my Chest/Lungs which is playing silly buggers with my Asthma - hence the reason walking to the bathroom feels like I have ran a marathon.  Anyway I now have a course of antibiotics and am back on the cortisteriods so I should be up and back to my crazy manic self in no time.  I wish they had of picked it up on Monday when I was there - it would of saved me a week of feeling like poo!

So one of my worries from yesterday did in fact happen and today I cancelled my Gig at the Mothers Day Luncheon.  I really dislike letting people down but the lady was really nice about it as she could clearly hear that I am unwell.

Todays challenge was to vary your stride as you walk - long giant steps to small peepy steps.  Considering my state of health at the moment just putting one foot in front of the other is enough of a challenge and so I decided to achieve my goal by getting the boys involved and turning it into a game.  So on our walk back to the car after school pick up we each took turns coming with with different things to walk like; Dinosaurs, Giants, Fairies (they weren't keen on that one hehe), Giraffes, Mice, Frogs and the list goes on and on. It was alot of fun and they want to play it again tomorrow.  Challenge Complete =)

So how am I going with the emotional eating?  Suprisingly well!  I had a few little easter eggs yesterday (which was a mistake - not good for asthma) and last night for dessert was an Apple Berry Crumble with Cream which was a delicious treat but not something that I could have too often and the days of having seconds have well and truly gone.

Well time for me to lie back down and rest AGAIN, I am so not good at this doing nothing stuff!

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Wedneday May 4 2011

I am propped up in bed wrapped up like an eskimo feeling less than ordinary as my cold has gotten worse and has now hit my lungs - asthma sucks!  Despite this however I am suprisingly doing OK emotionally and have managed to steer clear of binge snacking. 

I joined a new site today called 'Daily Challenge' and my first challenge was 'To write down my worries to free my mind'. 

MY WORRY LIST

*Not being well enough to sing for the Mothers Day Luncheon this Friday

*Not being well enough for my Gym Instruction workshop this Saturday

*GIF Study - I am finding my Modules difficult to complete and stressed because I am behind

*Yoga course - Time to complete it, Driving to Woodend weekly

*Finances

*Not exercising - Weight Gain

*Feeling like a Third wheel of Oooh Aaahs

*Unfit for Commando Workout

*Not enough quality time with boys

 

Whilst I have a few things to iron out most of my worries are really only trivial in comparison to what alot of people go through and to be honest mine are brought on by myself as I take too much on at once. Just call me the Juggling Queen. I often wonder what my life would be like if I choose not to do so much - LOL yeah right, can't see that happening! 

 

Anyway, just wanted to share.  I had better get back to studying because being here isn't getting it done!  I wonder what tomorrow's challenge will be?

Read more "Wedneday May 4 2011"

Monday 2nd May 2011

The past couple of days have been massive (massage course, study, work) and to top it off I now have a cold and feel BLAH! 

I had planned on getting back into training today however I decided that a day of rest was the better choice. 

On a positive note my back has finally decided to cooperate thanks to the wonders of a full body massage - I can't wait for the next workshop so I can be experimented on again LOL!

Not much else to write really,  I am hanging in there emotionally and have mananged to keep the binging to a minimum - haven't been 100% on track but I haven't been disgusted in myself either.

Well thats it for tonight, will update you again soon.

Read more "Monday 2nd May 2011"