Mixed Emotions

Language warning!

Sometime in July...27th I think!

I have spent so many nights tossing and turning for several hours, so I decided to get up  (its 4.00am) and roll with the punches by acknowledging that which is doing acrobatics in my mind.  I am hoping that the process of writing it down might help to ease the anguish that has built up inside.  I am however, discovering that it is much easier said than done and I am struggling to find the words to clearly explain what I am feeling.  To say 2020 has been one that has had everyone experiencing a myriad of emotions, is a complete and total understatement.  Basically, I'm here, starring out into the abyss totally bewildered!

 

I'll be honest with ya, most of everything I'm thinking and feeling, has to do with Covid-19.  Frustratingly, it consumes/overwhelms me!  That alone, really pisses me off!  I really dislike this fear based reality I am in at the moment, it's not me!  I'm the eternal optimist, the one who believes in staying positive and in raising energy vibrations.  I do have to say though, I do not believe that 'all' of it is just me making a mountain out of a molehill.  Also, I have not lost focus of my many positives, I've just simply become a little um, rigid?!

Okay, here we go...

List of things keeping me awake!

Firstly, I am ANGRY, although pissed off is a more accurate description!  I am pissed off at the lack of compliance I've seen, read about, heard about.   Things like: 

a) people NOT social distancing!  I get its hard to not show affection when by nature we crave human to human contact,  but FFS stop the spread and stay 1.5 metres (or as far as possible) away from those you don't live with. 

I haven't seen my family since last visit as its just too hard not to give them hugs.  Same goes for my friends.  I miss them and its sad, but it is what it is, and it will pass IF people do the right thing!

b) people NOT wearing a mask -  those with medical clearance the exception!  As an asthmatic and claustrobe, I get that they suck; I feel like I'm going to faint when I wear mine.  But, I'm pretty sure a ventilator due to having contracted Covid-19 will suck more, so I wear my mask when I have to.  Basically what I'm saying is, if you don't have a valid reason just shut the fuck up and wear the damn mask!

As for those claiming the mandatory mask rule is taking away their human rights, I can't even find the words!  

Here's an idea, don't want to 'have' to wear a mask, easy fixed, just stay the fuck at home! 

c) people NOT staying at home and instead going out for more than just the four reasons; medical, food, school, work!  

Why in hell would you risk it!  Why put others at risk by 'potentially' spreading germs from place to place!

And worse, it infuriates me that people are so stupid, selfish, or both, that they don't self isolate after being tested, and instead cross suburban lines just to be arrogant c#€@s!  

Additionally, those out there carrying on about the virus not being 'real', also gets my blood boiling.  I mean, how insensitive can they be!  Especially when there are people fucking suffering and dying, from said 'fake' virus!

Secondly, I am sad for the lives lost to this horrible virus, and for those suffering.  Sad for those fighing to save others and suffering as a result. 

I'm also grieving all the missed opportunities; outings, visits with family/friends, the way things were, the simple pleasure of living life to the fullest! 

And then, the anger rises again, because if people just did what is recommended, chances are we would not be seeing, experiencing these devastating consequences.  FFS, just do what you are told!

Thirdly, I'm worried about the virus spreading further to the point of being uncontrollable.  This makes me scared for my family.  I fear them getting sick.  I fear them...I can't say it, it crossing my mind is bad enough!

My Mum is still working at Bunnings, which really stresses me out as so many customers just dont give a shit about others!  I am also feeling sad for Mum given she is by herself.  I know she is missing her grand kids and talking to them via video call just makes that feeling stronger, but as hard as it is, its for the best.  If she ends up stopping work, I might just bring forward her move into the bungalow.  Or maybe, I could just go do a carer visit. 

I'm worried/anxious about my nephew and niece, and my two boys having to go to school.  Remembering, we are both in a regional zone, so kids are technically supposed to be at school.  Personally, I think they should be doing remote learning like Metro kids!  I know its not easy, but its so worth the headache knowing the kids are safe at home!  Theres another thing that gets my goat...people who bitch and whinge about having their kids home!

A reason I believe remote learning should be in place, is because at school there is no social distancing expectations.  Is it any wonder that kids aren't following the guidelines on the weekends and instead posting pictures of themselves huddled together with arms around each other.  Just another thing that has pissed me off,  c'mon, why are parents allowing it FFS!

Monday 3rd August

It is 2.00pm and I am eagerly awaiting Dan Andrews breaking news announcement on TV.  I am hoping that "strict" stage 4 restrictions are put in place for  both Metro and Regional Victorians (or at least Shires with over a certain number of Covid-19 cases; say like 10+).

  

Okay, it is 3.00pm and Dan Andrews (The Premier) has declared Victoria 'A State of Disaster'.  

In a nutshell, other changes which will run for six weeks, until September 13, include:

*  Melbourne: 

From tonight there will be a curfew.  You must be home between 8.00 p.m. - 5.00 a.m.

Only one person from each household allowed out to shop once per day. 

 

Recreational activities are no longer allowed.  There is a one hour limit outdoors.  No more than two people allowed.

No one allowed to travel more than a five km. radius of their home.

  

*  Regional Victoria:

From Midnight, Wednesday 5th, stage three restrictions will be enforced and remote learning will commence. Aka, back to how it was in March!

* Generally:

 

No impact on supermarkets and similar.  Despite this, people have started going crazy and panic buying again.

More restriction details such as business closures will be revealed tomorrow.  Well, technically today as it is now 4.20am  on Monday 3rd.  Yup, still feeling all the 'feels' and as such, I can't sleep!

I am happy with the tougher restrictions BUT...

Personally, I think we should ALL be in lockdown, as when you give an inch, people take a mile and If people don't follow whatever is put in place, then we will continue to be screwed for longer than needed! 

Make it so we cannot leave our homes at all (emergency medical care the exception)!

Want fresh air, step out your front or back door, or open a window.  

Get the defense force to provide food/care boxes - everyone gets the same thing and that way panic buying is no longer a problem.  

As for those who get caught breaking the rules, forget a fine, lock em' up in an old warehouse somewhere...back to bread and water, bed on straw, non covid and covid all together with no medical help provided - I mean it doesn't exist right so they shouldn't care!  Concentration camp style comes to mind, which makes me ashamed of myself, but they just make me so angry!

Whilst the above may be a bit harsh (good reason I'm not Premier), I truly do believe that the tougher restrictions are the only way to eradicate this virus, and for life to get back to some kinda normal again sooner rather than later!  

Saturday 8th August

So far I've pretty much only focused on those things that make me feel not ok!  But despite these, or more to the point as well as these, there has been many moments of gratitude.

During these strange unprecedented times I am grateful for:

- Guilt free time off work to recover

- My kittens

- Time with my precious family of four.

- My husband's hilarious banter

- Social Media 

- Netflix/Stan

- Telehealth/Zoom Meetings

- Online Shopping

- Those doing the right thing

- Talented mask making friends 

- Living in regional Victoria

- Telephone calls/messages

- Medicine (both natural and pharmaceutical)

- Check in messages from friends

- Books, Crafts, shit to keep busy with LOL

The list goes on really!

Read more "Mixed Emotions"

Daily Non-negotiables

Do you have a list of daily non-negotiables? You know, one or more habits that are a must to do without fail? Whilst I have quite a few things on my list, for this blog I want to focus on just one.

My number one daily non-negotiable is… make my bed! 

I find it unbelievable how even if the room itself is not neat, tidy and organised, a made bed changes the whole feel of the room. I also find that there are huge rewards in one simple task; such as, a feeling of accomplishment. Why wouldn't I be a bed making advocate when it brings about such a positive start to ones day. 

From a very early age, I taught my precious boys the importance of bed making, and now its become what I believe is a 'good habit' which takes them no more than a few minutes. 

So, perhaps they do not prop the pillows and place the throw rug 'just so', the way I like, but simply pulling up the covers so that they aren't strewn all over the room is something that makes my heart smile. 

Need more convincing? Okay, heres some more reasons why I'm an advocate of making the bed. 

Reduces anxiety, stress & tension 

Walking into a room and seeing sheets screwed up into a bunch, pillows tossed here and there, and blankets all over the floor, triggers a sense of panic. Making the bed however, reduces the look of mess and clutter, and as such eliminates the feeling of chaos. 

Sense of achievement 

By completing this one simple task, I start my day off with a sense of achievement. Who wouldn't want to start each day on a positive note. 

Produces Productivity 

With an awesome tone set for the day, it motivates one to be productive which opens the door of possibility. 

Cleanliness Godliness

I know I've shared before that my external reflects the internal. Meaning, if my surroundings are cluttered, my mind feels the same. Hence, by taking a few minutes out of my day and making the bed, it cleans the untidiness of my mind. And, it makes the room itself look much neater. 

Cosy Comfort 

And lastly, I love the feeling of pulling back the covers and crawling into a made bed.

Even when we had the single bed in our room for Mark to sleep on during recovery, both beds would get made. Truth be told, Mark would remake the bed for me each time I would get up - just another reason why I love him so. 

And just for comparison heres something that you won't see very often eeekkkk...heart rate racing just looking at it.

Versus something that to me is much more inviting, and reduces the anxiety heart rate. Even with pillows galore!

Oh, another positive about making your bed, for those counting them, is that you get up your steps!

Read more "Daily Non-negotiables "

Half way there...

Here we are, halfway through 2020, and what a bizarre six months it has been.  When this year started, I never would have predicted the 'unprecedented' events that have occurred thus far. 

What about you?

I can't say that it has completely gone in a different direction than I thought, Covid-19 the exception ofcourse.  And on a personal level, I don't believe that its been my worst year ever, I can think of others where rock bottom was surpassed.  On a global level however, there is no denying that the number of deaths from this worldwide pandemic is extremely sad.

With this in mind and since we are at month 7 of 12, I thought it would be a great time to take a quick inventory of my yearly goals and see if there needs to be a change of direction entirely, or just some simple adjustments so to adapt better.

How would I sum up, what has happened to me in 2020, so far?

Admitted to hospital for unexpected reason!  Admitted to hospital for expected reason!  Admitted to hospital unexpectedly!  Admitted to hospital for expected reason!

Then lots of tests, and various trips back and forth to hospital!

What silver linings have I found in the midst of this years craziness?

I have had guilt free time off work/study to rest and recover.  As well as, had lots of connection time with my family.

What I've learned about myself,  others, and life in general this year?

Firstly, and I think everyone would agree, is that life, is un-freaking-predictable!  I mean, I kinda knew it was, but after this year, I really know!  Can you relate?

As for myself and others, I don't really know what to write for this one; maybe that I'm a cynic and "...believe people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honourable or unselfish reasons"(Goggle, 2020).

Oh gosh, thats not very positive hey!  It is however, real!

More seriously, something I've learnt about myself (well more confirmed) is that doing nothing (aka resting, resting, resting) makes me feel lazy; worthless and lacking purpose.  I know its only temporary, and its for the purpose of recovering, but contrary to what my mother would have you believe, I actually do not do 'doing nothing' very well.

What I'm most proud of myself for doing, being, learning or understanding this year?

Funnily enough considering what I wrote above, I think it would have to be surrendering and resting.  Yes, to the point of actually becoming quite lazy, well I feel as though I am anyway!  

In saying that, the house is still clean, kids have been getting fed each day, and bills and paperwork is up-to-date.

What word sums up your 2020 experience?

I think it would definitely have to be - RESILIENCE!  

Although I despise it when people say "oh, you're sick AGAIN"!, I must admitt that sometimes it does indeed feel like its just one 'negative' thing after the other.

But as the quote says, I also have lots of blessings to count.

2020's Goals Revisited

*First and foremost my goal is to address ALL health issues.

-Heal and recover from mastectomy so to be ready physically and mentally for revision surgery.  

-Address Gynocological issues.  

-Get lapband fixed.

*After that, its to resume study, and then look at resuming work (once Covid-19 behind us).  In regard to work I'm thinking that some changes are on the cards.  What they are, or what they look like right now, I'm not sure.

*Given that we are getting the Covid-19 payment each fortnight, which is great considering I lost my income, I'd like to put some money aside!  Saving enough to put into a term deposit would be awesome.

*Managing my pain better so that I can heavily reduce, or better still, eliminate my pain meds and detox my body.  This is especially important so that the medication will be effective after the next operation/s.

To be honest with you, it would also help me get some productivity back in my life, and make study less of a challenge.  

Lately my mind is far too consumed by the ever present thick fog which just lingers there to numb the sensory receptors of my brain so that I do not feel pain or anything else for that matter.  Even the simple task of writing this blog has taken what feels to me an eternity to compose, as the words that form within the suffocated confines of my cranium get muddled as they move to my fingers or even to my lips to be expressed in a manner which makes sense to a those which are not in the same intoxicated state of mind as mine.  

In addition, weariness encompasses every inch of my being, and I find myself lying idol for most of the hours which make the day.  My body once so strong feels frail and fatigued.  

The time in which it has taken just to write these words frustrates me to the point of wanting to throw this device across the room but I would then be alone with no outside stimulus of which this provides, and so instead I just sit here continuing to place babble upon the white space before me sighing loudly to release the heat rising within just like a fire breathing dragon.   Oh the heat, yes that glorious internal combustion which for me, at this moment, just adds salt to the already festering wound.  

But, I digress, so I pause,  contemplating whether I have expressed all that I feel needs conveying, although if truth be told, I've since forgotten the point of my writing.  Self expression I assume!

Read more "Half way there..."

Covid-19 Second Wave

Here we are again!  Well kinda, sorta anyway!

ANSWER:  All projects have glitter! Plus, it will stay in the room for years despite vacuuming 100 times!

From midnight on Wednesday 8th July, metropolitan Melbourne, plus the Mitchell Shire went into stage 3 lockdown for at least the next six weeks.  Meaning, that once again the only reasons that one can leave their house is for food, work, health and care giving.  Students from prep to years 10 were given an extra week.of holidays, with their home schooling set to start again on Monday 13th.

Look, its no surprise really.  

You know how I mentioned the Black Lives Matters (BLM) uproar in early June?!?  Well, in support of that, thousands of people took to the streets to protest, and well, social distancing and masks were pretty much non-existent by the majority.  Do I support BLM, Hell Yes!  Do I agree with a protest during a pandemic?  Fuck No!  But, regardless of what I feel, here we are!

I don't believe that it's the only reason.  I personally think things went back to normal (well the new 'normal' anyway) too soon; visiting, hugging, gyms/classes,.shopping just because, going to movies, out to dinner.  People either became complacent or just don't give a fuck, its as simple as that.

Oh, and this is where I explain the kinda, sorta!  Bacchus Marsh, where we live is classified as a regional suburb and so there is no lockdown for us.

To say I am not happy about this is somewhat of an understatement *DAMN IT*.

I mean, we border Melton which IS a lockdown suburb right!?!.  Our children are expected to go to school as usual!  Mind you, several of our teachers, and even students for that matter come from Melton...I mean c'mon, can you not see the stupidity in that!  

My Mum who lives in Melton cannot come to visit me for even 30 minutes.  But, others from the same suburb can hang with my kids at school all day - MAKES NO SENSE!  Especially considering Mum works with the public and all precautions are taken, but at school they don't have to so social distancing, or wear masks hmmmm!

The boys were supposed to go back to school today.  But, I refuse to send them, at least until cases start drastically reducing.

To further cement my decision, two covid-19 cases have been confirmed in Moorabool in as many days READ HERE!

I will need to message the school at some stage for work for the boys.  Mindyou, at the end of last term I was advised that if I kept them home we would only receive minimal support.  Ridiculous, especially considering both boys and myself are considered high risk because of asthma, and Mark is high risk due to diabetes!  

Now I know it seems as though I am letting fear control me, but if that was the case we wouldn't leave the house at all.  Admittedly the boys only go out for fresh air and exercise, Mark goes down the street for shopping, and I still go to my various medical appointments.

On a plus, us not being locked down means we may still be able to have our next family catch up, although it won't be the same without Mum.

Anyway, I am going to leave it here for now, no doubt I will have more to say about it at a later date.

Read more "Covid-19 Second Wave"

Iso Life

Okay, its playing on my mind and so I need to put a pause on the catch up posts just for a second to get this out there!

I'm talking about the 2020 apocalypse that hit apporoximately 8 weeks ago on March 11th, the pandemic that is the Coronavirus (coVID-19).  As of right now, 4.63 million cases have been confirmed worldwide, with 311K deaths as a result (HERE).

For futuristic readers, or those who have been living under a rock (like is usually the case for moi), here is recap on the corona times; some has been taken from a facebook post, some from government website and some from the top of my head due to personal experience.

Australia was forced into lockdown! 

This meant that schools, restaurants, gyms, beauty salons, retail stores, workplaces and communal outdoor areas across the country were closed.  Thousands of Aussies started working from home and kids started learning from home as nobody was allowed to leave their home except for 4 reasons deemed as ‘essential travel’:  1) shopping for food and/or other essential items. 2) access medical services or provide caregiving – for example, this includes shared parenting obligations or providing care and support to an unwell, disabled, elderly or pregnant friend or relative. 3) attend work or education where you can’t do those things from home. 4) exercise and participate in some recreational activities.

The reduced travel saw petrol prices drop to 98 cents to entice people to fill up.

At the start of the madness, grocery shoppers went into survival mode, bulk purchasing items like toilet paper, sanitary pads, pasta, rice, frozen vegetables, disinfecting supplies, laundry powder and hand hand sanitiser. There were many shelves and isles left bare.   Mark took the folowing videos.

Even today, there are still some sections and shopping items that are hard to find; for us personally its coles laundry sanitiser. 

When it comes to doing the shopping the recommendation is for only one family member to go out so to reduce risk. Online shopping was shutdown for weeks, but thankfully they are now open again. Shopping hours are limited and stores are open early for those with extra needs and who are 60+ due to higher risk. A limited number of people are allowed inside store at one time.

Self-distancing measures were and still are mandatory, this means standing 1.5 meters apart. There is tape on the floors at grocery stores and other stores to ensure this is maintained. In waiting rooms laminated crosses are placed on seats.  People are wearing masks and gloves everywhere they go.

Mark over exhaggerating just a tad.

Non-essential stores and businesses were mandated closed.

Parks, pools, lookouts & entire cities locked up.

Entire sports seasons cancelled including professional sports and the Olympics were postponed until 2021.

Concerts, tours, festivals, entertainment events - cancelled.

Weddings, family celebrations, holiday gatherings - severely reduced in number attendance to 5 guests or cancelled.

Immediate family only able to attend funerals and even then no more than 10 so not everyone can attend.

There were no masses or services as churches are closed.

All school holiday plans, cancelled. No movies, no sleepovers, no friend catchups, no dinner plans. All Easter holiday plans etc. camping trips, cancelled.

Only 2 people allowed together out in public spaces. Rule is: Don't socialize with anyone outside of your home. Children's outdoor play parks and Skate parks are closed.

There is a shortage of masks, gowns, gloves for our front-line workers. And, a shortage of beds and ventilators for the critically ill. Not to mention those actually trained to use them; some nurses are being asked to come out of retirement Manufacturers, distilleries and other businesses switched their lines to help make visors, masks, hand sanitizer and PPE.

Medical appointments being done via telephone or video link. Prescription refills at the click of a button on specific apps. Hospitals heavily reduced visiting hours and then stopped them entirely. Screening done in hospital lobbies before being able to attend appointments.

States and Territory Governments close the border to all non-essential travel. Federal boarders are shut too.

Fines are established for breaking the rules which are legislated acts. $1600 fine in Victoria if caught away from home for a non-essential reason. As such there is barely anyone on the roads.

There are daily updates on new cases and deaths. Not a lot of coverage on recoveries or those sick with the virus. Personally I have never watched the news so much in my life. At one stage we had it on all day!

Unemployment rate is high and there is Government incentives to stay home e.g the Corona Stimulus package. 

The reason for all of this...

To flatten the curve and reduce the spread! Basically, so Australia does not face the same devastation that the United States and United Kingdom have.

And it worked!

Then...as of Tuesday May 12th at 11.59pm, 'some' restrictions were eased. 

You can now:

Have family and friends visit you at home (and as such leave home for the purposes of visiting others) – with up to five visitors being allowed at your home at one time. No sleep overs allowed!

Gatherings of people for the purposes of non-contact sport and recreation in public settings, such as National, State and public parks – with groups of up to ten being allowed to gather.

Small gatherings of up to 10 people at some indoor facilities such as places of worship and community centres – along with those required to run the facilities. The four-square metre rule applies in these settings.

plus more...

AND, I don't mind saying it has sent me into a tail spin!

I like iso life...staying home with my family who I know are safe, and only interacting with the outside world via zoom/social media when it suits, was an easy adjustment for me. So while others were struggling with lockdown mode, I easily settled in to a new 'safe/controlable' normal.  

I will admitt that I do miss catching up with good friends, listening to the banter of the kids hanging out, and would have liked to be able to call on friends/family for support during recovery.

But, now that things are changing 'again' and going back to a previous semi-normal, I am apprehensive about it. Well, more to the point, I have 'return-anxiety' about the unpredictability of what the future holds.  This situation is serious, and I believe/feel/fear the worst is yet to come!  Therefore, for me personally, restrictions have eased too soon! I mean, they still don't have a vaccine (or do they? lets rephrase that, they have not yet released the vaccine for the general public) AND winter hasn't fully set in yet, which means flu season hasn't even started, which means we have not seen the worst of it!  Transitioning back into our old way of life, just feels like a step backward to me. Perhaps it is just fear talking and I am being overly cautious, but I really feel 'unsafe'. 

As mentioned earlier, one of the ways the restrictions have eased is that we are now allowed 'up to 5 visitors in the home at one time'.

Don't get me wrong, I love catching up with my family, with my friends, having the boys hang out with mates, but it also raises so much uncertainty which triggers anxiety; there is so much I cannot control outside of our four walls!  

Despite feeling this way, Saturday 16th May we had visitors, as I know that the interaction would be positive for mental health, not only for the boys but us too (once my anxiety settles).

There were a couple of times my anxiety got the better of me e.g. all 6 (even though it was supposed to be one mate each for starters...I need my NO to be more stern) kids in one small room together so clearly the 1.5 meter rule not being adhered to, and Jazz going for a walk with mates to a local shop that doesn't follow the social distancing / limited number of people rules eeekkk.  

Sending everyone outside (I feel safer outside, thankfuly it was a beautiful day) helped reduce some of my anxiety a little bit, I mean if I could visit with my friends outside (albeit totally on edge and no fun to be around due to feeling too overwhelmed by 'change - too much too soon), then so could they.  

I think part of the anxiety also stems from not feeling 100% yet, and having a limited tolerance for feeling crowded and for noise, as when there was only one mate each I was much more at ease.

As per the social distancing rule, there are also no hugs allowed!  For those who know me, hugs are one of my favourite things so it certainly is not easy, but, it keeps me safe from corona, prevents accidental knockage of my foobs, and thus reduces my anxiety.  If only the kids listened to that part too...gggrrr seriously its like just because there is a slight ease in restrictions they think everything is a-okay, hence why I believe we will see another spike, as its not just the kids!  Mindyou, I get what its like to be a teenager in love and all touchy feely (well within reason ofcourse), so I can't be too hard on them.  

Anyway, my psychologist has a phrase..."name it so you can tame it". So here I am naming it, so that I can tame it and move forward.  I have also started to think of plans I can put into place to help me move forward, because I do need to, you know - move forward!  (You think I may have an issue with 'moving forward' LOL).

Coming into Iso I posted this on instagram...

I am determined to stay out of the shadows of dense vibrational energy; aka FEAR. Instead, I choose not to dwell on that which is heavy, and instead choose to walk in the light and high vibrational frequency of POSITIVITY!

REMEMBER: it quite simply is what it is until it is something else. Worrying about it does not change it, it only robs you of the moment of now.

Breathe! Release! Trust! This too shall pass!

I have to remind myself that where consciousness goes, energy flows...in other words if I have fearful thoughts then I will manifest said thoughts.  I know this, I believe this, but I am struggling to move out of this space right now!

I will get past this, but first I need to show some self compassion as it is okay to feel anxious about this situation, to set boundaries, to take it day by day, to do what works for me!

I also just need to remember to breathe AND focus on the positives rather than allowing fear to control me!

And in saying that, to notice what thoughts and feelings are real and okay, and what is a bit OTT.

As I said though, this situation is serious, especially for those with compromised immunity; asthma, diabetes, autoimmune...all of which my family falls within!  I think I have a right to be a little bit cautious, don't you think!

P.S. School goes back on June 9th and as much as home schooling is exhausting, albeit somewhat rewarding (but still something I believe to be more beneficial for my boys if on a non-set curriculum), I am nervous about sending them. I guess I will deal with that closer. Perhaps I need to just put some strict safety plans/rules/boundaries in place.  The boys arent keen on returning at this stage either.

P.P.S. It dawned on me that another reason for todays anxiety was knowing people were coming and my house was a mess. Why? Because I am freaking fatigued as f^&k, but havent been sleeping due to pain!  

Read more "Iso Life"

Talents, Virtues, Purpose 2019

So I'm a little bit behind on answering the manifesting questions posted by the lovely Sonja on the Mindset Wellness group page (check it out HERE), but better late than never I say. Also, to be completely honest with you, I've been in complete holiday mode.  Mind you they go back tomorrow, so I have had to haul arse and start to get back into some kind of routine...uniform and shoes ready, schedules printed, books ready, sleep/wake pattern slowly re-established.

Anyway, heres a little recap of what we have covered so far!  Click the LINKS to see what I'm talking about, if you haven't been follow OR for a refresher, if you have!

Day 1 - I Released 2018

Day 2 - Making Magik 2019

Day 3 - Finding My Purpose

And now here we are at Day 4 - Talents + Virtues + Purpose!

What are your talents?

Ok so I'm just going to put it out there that I find this question incredibly difficult. I really don't do well speaking myself up. I think its because I really dislike those who are 'egotistical' (you know those that have their heads so far up their own arse they can't see anything or anyone around them) and a question such as this one means tapping into that place. But, as the point of this is stripping back the layers, here goes...I also totally get that there is an element of ego needed in order to succeed in business...I guess there is a fine line though hey, between selling oneself and selling that which you can provide.

*I am a quick learner

*I am musical (sing & play guitar, dabble on other instruments)

*I am empathic and compassionate

*I am creative/artistic

*I am good at organising things whether that be events or clutter

*I am strong willed (some may say stubborn)

*I can express myself in words

*I have a Certificate of Aromatherapy, Nutrition, & Shiatsu and a Mastership of Reiki.

*I have a Diploma of Remedial Massage and am passionate about using my skill to help others.

*I can make a mountain out of a molehill...so I know normally this is a negative saying and yes I do have a tendency to also veer on that side of things, but I think of the saying more in terms of the ability to make a little stretch. For example. Money! Its amazing how one can survive, thrieve (depending upon your interpretation of the word) with minimal income.

What are your values?

Here's just a few off the top of my head.  I am sure that if I took extra time to really ponder and analyse, that I could come up with more.

*I strongly believe that good manners and good moral standards cost nothing and yet get you a long way in life.

*I believe a warm friendly smile, a firm welcoming handshake and an embracing hug are invalable gestures to share.

*I believe that perfection is a state of mind although still something worth striving for.

*I believe that being true to who you really are is a very important life process.

*I believe in keeping it real, in not hiding your emotions, in showing your truth as you see it.

*I believe in being open minded, and in the willingness to learn new things.

*I believe that knowledge is not power, the way that knowledge is applied in order to obtain wisdom is!

*I believe that respect is not given based purely upon age or status, but something that is earnt. This does not mean however, that rudeness is acceptable until that has been achieved.

*I believe in honesty at all costs as the truth always comes out in the end...integrity!

*I believe that everybody makes mistakes but its how you own them and work to amend them that really matters. I believe in second chances.

*I believe that if it serves to protect yourself and those you love, cutting toxic people from your life is of paramount importance.

*I believe that a positive attitude and an optimistic outlook sure beats the alternative of bleakness.

*I believe that you don't always have to agree in order to get along, but you must find a mutual ground where you can agree to disagree.

What is your purpose?

WOW, what a question!

I believe it is sharing my talents with others, to work towards making a positive change in the world.

What are your current career fantasies?

I want to have a career that helps others to feel whole, to feel truly connected to who they are, to be healthy on all levels mind, body and soul.  To be the lighthouse in their lives...corny hey!

How do these align with your values, your talents and your health/wellness intentions?

I believe that for the most part who I am and what I stand for are all in alignment.

As I have mentioned previously though, giving up smoking and getting myself back to that place that radiates health (albeit a sterotypical image) is high on the agenda so that I actually feel as though I am walking the talk!

What are your personal intentions?

I want to live in a way that I would be proud of my boys to follow in the same footsteps...to lead by example!

What are your professional intentions?

To share my knowledge, experiences and wisdom with others, so that it may lead them to realising their truest potentional.

What are your philanthropic intentions?

Hmmm another tricky question...let me see!

*I guess the biggest one is the fact that I am an organ donor. I know that right now that doesn't mean much, but hopefully when my time of this earth comes to end, it will make a huge difference in someones life.

*I plan to donate massage vouchers to local fundraisers. I struggle with this a little as on one hand it is also for personal gain, in the sense that it advertises my business. In saying that however, it is not purely about gaining anything but also giving and supporting.

*I would like to give of my time to a worthwhile cause. When I was on the Relay For Life committee, I felt a real sense of purpose, a part of something worthwhile. I want to feel that again, to feel as though I am helping to make a difference.

*I would like to look at donating blood this year. In the past I haven't been able to due to a blood disorder, but I haven't enquired recently and maybe things have changed...since my tonsillectomy my immunity has improved so maybe it will be possible?!

*I plan to continue to pick up rubbish when I am out and about, rather than just walking past it.

*I plan to repurpose and reduce waste.

Well, thats about all I can think of at this stage, thanks heaps for reading. Be sure to stay tuned xo

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