First Steps

Monday 10th August

Well not exactly first steps, but sadly and embarrassingly, the first in a while!  But, as it was such a beautiful day, we were inspired to venture outside the saftey of our home and go for a walk.

Rather than just hitting the pavement and walking around the block, Ace suggested Peppertree Park.

Mark walked with me.

And, the boys rode ahead (much better for my ankles that way LOL).

Ace led the way, off the path and down a beaten track along the river.  

Watch Video HERE

Definitely not something I would do in summer!

We crossed the river and climbed up the hill to reach the actual proper walking track.

And, I couldn't resist climbing up the old steps.

Watch Video HERE

And then we walked down again.  Well, not quite - Ace rode down!

Watch Video HERE

We went a little further up the track before turning around and heading home.  

All up we walked for approximately 2kms and were gone for an hour, arriving home just as it got dark.  It was a perfectly timed ending to a wonderful family walking adventure!

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Remote Learning 2.0

Wednesday 5th August

Day 1 of remote learning saw me working with Ace and Mark helping Jazz.

Which kid do you think is more co-operative?

My talented boy happily doing his school work.

Meanwhile...music is NOT one of Aces school subjects - this is called PROCRASTINATION!  Little shit knows that because he's playing guitar I'm going to let things slide!  I so wish he took music as a subject because he's got talent, but he didn't want to 'have to' perform.

A 'its not, not coffee', 'it's hard coffee', is the perfect beverage at the end of the day.  Aka Irish Coffee oh yeah!

Tuesday 11th August

We haven't really been following the school timetable as we have a work pack so can be a little flexible.  

Because of this things have been going okay...

Well, up until today when I lost my shizzle completely at a certain Mr.16!

But, after a break from each other we were able to push past it and just get the work done.  

Have to admit, confiscating that certain someones mobile phone until it was done helped with the achievement!

Yelling, or more to the point screaming, is certainly not a behaviour I am proud of.  I plan to be more mindful of the frustration rising and just say 'stuff it'.  Whilst the work needs to get done, its just not worth the turmoil to push it like I did today.  Not to say it means he/they can be lazy.

Hopefully, like me, he has learnt from todays experience and continues to put head down, bum up and JFDI!

If he invested half the energy he uses complaining about doing the work, into the actual work, he would be finished everything by lunch time!

All jokes aside, having them at home where they are safe, makes losing fists full of hair worth it!

Tomorrows a new day...positive polly pants on!

Wednesday 12th 

We've got this, half way through the day and so far, so good!

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Nether News

When I say nether, I am indeed referring to the nether regions!  Yes, this is a Gynocological update!

On Wednesday 5th August, Mark and I made our way up to the Ballarat Base hospital. 

Whilst not as scary an experience as going to RMH, Covid-19 protocols were in place.  These included being asked a series of questions, temperature check, checkin process at the main desk, and no support people allowed.

This meant Mark had to wait in the foyer, and I was a big girl and went upstairs all on my lonesome.

Notice a mask change?  This is because every time I would smile or laugh, the elastic on the other mask would fly off my ear.  So freaking funny but not safe - so a hospital mask it was!

I didn't have to wait long before I was called in...I was the only one there.

So, here I was thinking that we would just be discussing results, filling in paperwork, and booking follow up appointments for cervical check.  Oh boy was I wrong!  He decided that we may as well do a papsmear, and take a little chunk of my insides then and there!  Wowee!  That was fun NOT!  And so starts the bleeding *sigh*.

After that, we discussed my 'cancer' risk factor based on family history (file sent from the Familial Cancer Centre (FCC)), my previous abnormal findings, and all the problems I've been experiencing.  As per the FCC, it was his recommendation to remove the uterus, cervix, ovaries, and fallopian tubes via laparoscopic surgery.  This is called a Total Hysterectomy with bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. No way I can pronounce that, I have enough saying my name somedays LOL.

Anyway, I agreed, filled in the paperwork and so the admission process is now underway on a category 2, which means within 90 days.  Mind you, with elective surgery on hold due to Covid-19 when it will happen is anyones guess (unless my status changed to urgent (category 1) based on test results).

Another brief area of discussion was the possible need for pharmaceutical menopause relief (hormone replacement therapy).  At this point I enquired about whether he could/would recommend Complementary and Alterative Medicine.  His answer was, "Yes, BUT they don't work"!  Needless to say that I walked out knowing exactly what my focus area would be for any future university assessments.  As I've said in the past, I'm not a one or the other gal.  Both types are beneficial and have their place.  Used together in an integrative way, I believe you get the best of both worlds.

These are the exact words I said on Monday (10th August) when I received a phone call from the hospital.

Why?

Because, they informed me that the tube they used for my pap smear was out of date.  Which means, I need to have it done again! Wahhhh!!

Oh, and just when the bleeding stopped from the wonderful chunk removal, TTOTM started...joy of joys!

In all seriousness though, as much as they are unpleasant...early detection saves lives, so that alone makes it worth it!

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Mixed Emotions

Language warning!

Sometime in July...27th I think!

I have spent so many nights tossing and turning for several hours, so I decided to get up  (its 4.00am) and roll with the punches by acknowledging that which is doing acrobatics in my mind.  I am hoping that the process of writing it down might help to ease the anguish that has built up inside.  I am however, discovering that it is much easier said than done and I am struggling to find the words to clearly explain what I am feeling.  To say 2020 has been one that has had everyone experiencing a myriad of emotions, is a complete and total understatement.  Basically, I'm here, starring out into the abyss totally bewildered!

 

I'll be honest with ya, most of everything I'm thinking and feeling, has to do with Covid-19.  Frustratingly, it consumes/overwhelms me!  That alone, really pisses me off!  I really dislike this fear based reality I am in at the moment, it's not me!  I'm the eternal optimist, the one who believes in staying positive and in raising energy vibrations.  I do have to say though, I do not believe that 'all' of it is just me making a mountain out of a molehill.  Also, I have not lost focus of my many positives, I've just simply become a little um, rigid?!

Okay, here we go...

List of things keeping me awake!

Firstly, I am ANGRY, although pissed off is a more accurate description!  I am pissed off at the lack of compliance I've seen, read about, heard about.   Things like: 

a) people NOT social distancing!  I get its hard to not show affection when by nature we crave human to human contact,  but FFS stop the spread and stay 1.5 metres (or as far as possible) away from those you don't live with. 

I haven't seen my family since last visit as its just too hard not to give them hugs.  Same goes for my friends.  I miss them and its sad, but it is what it is, and it will pass IF people do the right thing!

b) people NOT wearing a mask -  those with medical clearance the exception!  As an asthmatic and claustrobe, I get that they suck; I feel like I'm going to faint when I wear mine.  But, I'm pretty sure a ventilator due to having contracted Covid-19 will suck more, so I wear my mask when I have to.  Basically what I'm saying is, if you don't have a valid reason just shut the fuck up and wear the damn mask!

As for those claiming the mandatory mask rule is taking away their human rights, I can't even find the words!  

Here's an idea, don't want to 'have' to wear a mask, easy fixed, just stay the fuck at home! 

c) people NOT staying at home and instead going out for more than just the four reasons; medical, food, school, work!  

Why in hell would you risk it!  Why put others at risk by 'potentially' spreading germs from place to place!

And worse, it infuriates me that people are so stupid, selfish, or both, that they don't self isolate after being tested, and instead cross suburban lines just to be arrogant c#€@s!  

Additionally, those out there carrying on about the virus not being 'real', also gets my blood boiling.  I mean, how insensitive can they be!  Especially when there are people fucking suffering and dying, from said 'fake' virus!

Secondly, I am sad for the lives lost to this horrible virus, and for those suffering.  Sad for those fighing to save others and suffering as a result. 

I'm also grieving all the missed opportunities; outings, visits with family/friends, the way things were, the simple pleasure of living life to the fullest! 

And then, the anger rises again, because if people just did what is recommended, chances are we would not be seeing, experiencing these devastating consequences.  FFS, just do what you are told!

Thirdly, I'm worried about the virus spreading further to the point of being uncontrollable.  This makes me scared for my family.  I fear them getting sick.  I fear them...I can't say it, it crossing my mind is bad enough!

My Mum is still working at Bunnings, which really stresses me out as so many customers just dont give a shit about others!  I am also feeling sad for Mum given she is by herself.  I know she is missing her grand kids and talking to them via video call just makes that feeling stronger, but as hard as it is, its for the best.  If she ends up stopping work, I might just bring forward her move into the bungalow.  Or maybe, I could just go do a carer visit. 

I'm worried/anxious about my nephew and niece, and my two boys having to go to school.  Remembering, we are both in a regional zone, so kids are technically supposed to be at school.  Personally, I think they should be doing remote learning like Metro kids!  I know its not easy, but its so worth the headache knowing the kids are safe at home!  Theres another thing that gets my goat...people who bitch and whinge about having their kids home!

A reason I believe remote learning should be in place, is because at school there is no social distancing expectations.  Is it any wonder that kids aren't following the guidelines on the weekends and instead posting pictures of themselves huddled together with arms around each other.  Just another thing that has pissed me off,  c'mon, why are parents allowing it FFS!

Monday 3rd August

It is 2.00pm and I am eagerly awaiting Dan Andrews breaking news announcement on TV.  I am hoping that "strict" stage 4 restrictions are put in place for  both Metro and Regional Victorians (or at least Shires with over a certain number of Covid-19 cases; say like 10+).

  

Okay, it is 3.00pm and Dan Andrews (The Premier) has declared Victoria 'A State of Disaster'.  

In a nutshell, other changes which will run for six weeks, until September 13, include:

*  Melbourne: 

From tonight there will be a curfew.  You must be home between 8.00 p.m. - 5.00 a.m.

Only one person from each household allowed out to shop once per day. 

 

Recreational activities are no longer allowed.  There is a one hour limit outdoors.  No more than two people allowed.

No one allowed to travel more than a five km. radius of their home.

  

*  Regional Victoria:

From Midnight, Wednesday 5th, stage three restrictions will be enforced and remote learning will commence. Aka, back to how it was in March!

* Generally:

 

No impact on supermarkets and similar.  Despite this, people have started going crazy and panic buying again.

More restriction details such as business closures will be revealed tomorrow.  Well, technically today as it is now 4.20am  on Monday 3rd.  Yup, still feeling all the 'feels' and as such, I can't sleep!

I am happy with the tougher restrictions BUT...

Personally, I think we should ALL be in lockdown, as when you give an inch, people take a mile and If people don't follow whatever is put in place, then we will continue to be screwed for longer than needed! 

Make it so we cannot leave our homes at all (emergency medical care the exception)!

Want fresh air, step out your front or back door, or open a window.  

Get the defense force to provide food/care boxes - everyone gets the same thing and that way panic buying is no longer a problem.  

As for those who get caught breaking the rules, forget a fine, lock em' up in an old warehouse somewhere...back to bread and water, bed on straw, non covid and covid all together with no medical help provided - I mean it doesn't exist right so they shouldn't care!  Concentration camp style comes to mind, which makes me ashamed of myself, but they just make me so angry!

Whilst the above may be a bit harsh (good reason I'm not Premier), I truly do believe that the tougher restrictions are the only way to eradicate this virus, and for life to get back to some kinda normal again sooner rather than later!  

Saturday 8th August

So far I've pretty much only focused on those things that make me feel not ok!  But despite these, or more to the point as well as these, there has been many moments of gratitude.

During these strange unprecedented times I am grateful for:

- Guilt free time off work to recover

- My kittens

- Time with my precious family of four.

- My husband's hilarious banter

- Social Media 

- Netflix/Stan

- Telehealth/Zoom Meetings

- Online Shopping

- Those doing the right thing

- Talented mask making friends 

- Living in regional Victoria

- Telephone calls/messages

- Medicine (both natural and pharmaceutical)

- Check in messages from friends

- Books, Crafts, shit to keep busy with LOL

The list goes on really!

Read more "Mixed Emotions"