September seems like a blur to me and so there isn't a great deal to fill you in on, but let's take a stroll down 'recap' lane together just for the heck of it!
Sunday September 1st
Today was Fathers Day!
Here's a poem I wrote to 'mark' the occasion!
Today is the day we take time to say
To all the Fathers and Father Figures in our lives,
Happy Fathers Day!
Perhaps not by blood, maybe not even male,
But in some shape or another
Your hero status doust prevail
Today is the one, set aside just for you.
A day to be told how much we appreciate All the 'Dad' things you do
You help make us whole, complete in some way
And we hope you know your worth
Not just on this day
But each day of the week, month and year
You are always special
And we hold your love dear.
So, as you know (well assuming you are an avid follower that is) my Dad is no longer physically with me. Anyway, considering that the whole country celebrates their Dad on this one particular day, one would think that I would feel an extreme sense of loss not being able to do the same, right? And yet, I don't! That I fear sounds to be quite harsh, which is certainly not my intention. Let me try to explain. Of course I wish that he was here, that is a given for me every single day of my life, but Fathers Day celebrations just don't weigh as heavily upon me in the same way that days like the anniversary of his passing and my birthday do. Perhaps its because I don't really believe we need a 'special' day to honour someone who deserves to be treated with love and respect on a daily basis! Anyway, I'm not really going anywhere with this, maybe I wrote about it as a way to try and understand it, because it really does leave me feeling a little perplexed! Lets just move on...
The focus of our day was on my sweet man Mark, and also upon the boys Dad Glenn. As we have done in the past, our day was spent together (well a couple of hours of it anyway) as one big blended family. Nothing overly exciting or elaborate just simply time at home enjoying each other company.
Tuesday September 3rd
With two assessments due on the same day, and the due date fast approaching I finally stopped procrastinating and made a start.
Saturday September 7th
We celebrated the 50th birthday of one of our treasured friends!
I have to admit that on numerous occasions throughout the week I had contemplated messaging our apologies, opting instead to stay home and study. But, not wanting to let her down, I juggled life like a crazy clown on speed and managed to complete one of my assessments. Whoo hoo! Mind you, this was achieved 30 minutes before the event start time. Cue mad dash to try and look somewhat presentable and off we went.
Sometime in the early hours of the morning, after several random shots of gut burning goodness, and after releasing my best 80's footloose dance moves, my darling husband helped me staggle (hobble and stagger at the same time...note to self - ankles are still healing!) through the door.
Gotta say, as much as I could have been home working on the next assessment, I really needed that time to just have some "fun".
Tuesday September 10th, 2019
Today, despite the need to study lurking like a dark cloud over my head, I caught up with a dear friend who I haven't seen in years. Her Dad and my Dad were in a band together called "Jedda Country", way back in the late 1970's...more than that they were mates, brothers!
We spent a good chunk of the day reminiscing (yes there were tears but also lots of laughter), and sharing our life stories (so much in common its quite daunting). Then, this afternoon Mum popped over and was blown away by seeing us together. She also shared with us a few stories, which was really special. And we called Desi's Mum, Aunty Robyn and chatted with her too. Something that I found so touching, was that on the day which turned out to be Uncle Dennis' last day, he had gone into Peter Macs hospital and spent the day with my Dad. Ten years later, on what turned out to be my Dads last day, his family decided to randomly visit my Dad. So, in essence, they each spent their last days together! Goosebumps kinda stuff huh!
It is so mind blowing to think that we are now both 10(+) years older than our Dads were when they left this earth, and yet they both live on in our love for them and the gift of music they gave us.
I am so blessed to have shared this moment and look forward to making more memories together really soon..well, once uni settles down anyway! We've got lots of stories to tell through our music...and plan to write together, so today was just the beginning.
Wednesday September 11th 2019 and beyond...
Study day! I will be completely real with ya here, if it wasn't for the fact that I knew I had today free to do study, I would have yet again rescheduled yesterday...so glad I didn't! Mind you, today's study didn't go so well. In fact, neither did the next 3 days to follow and come Saturday night, despite playing my guitar as hard as I could and belting out tunes until my voice broke, I ugly cried myself to sleep. It was obviously the release I needed because on Sunday morning I got up and the haze had lifted. The anxiety however, not so much, and with the pressure of juggling work and a follow up hospital appointment, it only heightened as the week progressed. Ironically enough, the assessment topic was/is about the impact of meditation on the symptoms of anxiety! Long story short, I managed to get it written and finished before due date on Sunday 22nd September, however, it is certainly not to the quality I expect from myself and I am sure that my grade will also reflect that. But, considering that for a good week I had a mental blank, and honestly thought I was not going to be submitting anything at all, thus failing miserably and throwing $2000 in the trash (the approx cost of a single subject), I was beyond caring. Sort of, more like resolved myself to the fact that there was nothing else I could do in the remaining time frame.
Friday September 27th 2019
Today Aces girlfriend of one month, Mia (they became official on the 24th of August) came and spent the day with us. Yes, you read that right, my baby boy has a first proper love. You wanna know something totally mind blowing? Just like my first ever boyfriend (Travis from age 13 to 18), she also lives in Deer Park. Karma perhaps? Anyway, shes a lovely thing (albeit a total tripper) and he is happy and respectful of both her and our boundaries (for now anyways, he is a teenager after all...so there is bound to be some rebelling occur). I also got to chat with and meet her Mum which was good as we appear to be on the same page. The past month hasn't been all smooth sailing for them though, and my boy has faced losing a friendship and the crap that comes with people lashing out when feeling hurt.
Have to say it was all a little hard for me as an adult to navigate let alone have to watch, and try to support him through it. Let me try to explain it all...
So, it started out as a 'crush' between Ace and one of Mia's friends. Anyways Ace and his mate started attending Empire (a church youth group in Sunshine on Friday night; he catches the youth group bus from Melton and back...lets just say there's been lots of pushing me outside of my comfort zone)...oh and yes, you read it right, my boy, attending church of his own freewill...amazing what teenage hormones achieves! So, the four of them became thick as thieves chatting on Instagram messenger every night for hours on end. Anyway, Ace and his crush decided to remain friends, and it turned out that Mia, much to the disappointment of Aces mate who was interested in her, had a crush on Ace. Long story short, Ace told me he liked Mia too, and so I gave my blessing (better that, than them going behind my back). So it became official and Ace ended up enduring weeks on end of bullying from said mate and others who joined in just for the heck of it - unrequited love certainly makes people act in a strange way! By the last day of term I had reached the point of being beyond concerned for Aces mental health, as despite the boys trying to sort it out alone there was no change. So...I called the Mum to see what we as adults could figure out together to try and resolve the issue. Lets just say, that it was very obvious from the call why her son acts the way he does. Mind you, I shouldn't have really been surprised. The bullying did settle down though which is a blessing, mind you, I'm guessing that's only because of me stating that if it didn't I would speak to the police. A drastic measure, yes, but one that I would have surely taken to ensure my child's mental health did not decline further...have you seen the suicide rates due to teenage bullying?
Monday September 30th 2019
Today, Mark finally got to see the urologist.
Mind you, as much as the wheels have been set in motion to get him fixed up, no relief was provided on the spot...frustrating to say the least!
Mark was born with a congenital condition called a urethral stricture...he has had 18 operations to try and fix it but sadly they are only short term solutions.
Anyway, he currently has over a litre of urine trapped in his bladder, which turns acidic and triggers a UTI, which triggers prostatitis. Antibiotics and opiods take the edge off but they are just a bandaid. So, now its just a waiting game. First step will be cystoscopy...but when?
