Hello March 2019

March ALREADY, like seriously this year is flying!

Friday 1st March 2019

This week was our contact with Hosanna (we see her every 4 weeks), which ran quite smoothly.  There were a small number of things that she had to be addressed about, but nothing major.  Mind you, it was so hot and we were so buggered that the boys were in their rooms, and I was in mine for most of her stay.

She did mention something interesting though in relation to God though.  Without going into the reason why it was mentioned, it was about her not really wanting to go to church (although 'sometimes' it was okay), because she doesn't feel you need a special place to have a relationship with God.  

I've gotta say that this made me smile, as it is also my belief.  God is everywhere! Not just at church on Sundays!  I also loved the way Mark said 'Hmmm, she really does take after her Mumma huh!'.   Mind you its not even a topic we raised with her, she just decided to share!  

Comes back to that old saying...

Just an addition here though.  In no way am I belittling those who do go to church and I sincerely apologise if it comes across that way.  My gorgeous inlaws go religiously (no pun intended), as do some of my beautiful friends.  I too have even been on occassion and enjoyed it (although there is one church I will never ever return to due to them being very judgemental and hypocritical).  I am even contemplating setting up a Bible Study group here at home that Mark will run, but enough about that, its still just a 'thought'.  

I guess its more that I don't believe anyone should be 'forced' to go AND that those who do go, should walk the talk on a daily, not just in church on Sunday.  Not to say that they have to be 'perfect' examples, but more that they aren't constant hypocritical knob jockeys (oooh so proud of how well I held back there)!

Anyway subject change!

Friday night my bestie Bec popped over.  The next day I sent her this pic and a message asking if she had forgotten something?

Her answer.."I forgot 2 things...to message to say I was home safe, and my bra, you're so cute!".  I love the fact that she remembered she forgot to message and mentioned that before the obvious.  Gosh I love her to pieces, she always makes my heart smile.   Not to say it has always been a rosey friendship, what friendships/relationships ever are, BUT we have stuck by each other and gotten through and for that I feel so ultra blessed!

Oh, and her bra was off because it was bloody hot on Friday and well, you know!

Saturday 2nd March 2019

Morning...

Afternoon...

The boys had their mates over and we went down the pool to cool off.  I never used to like the local pool much, I think it was because I was so self conscious.  F&$k that!  These days bikini and all, I'm in there!  It's always an added bonus when you get to catch up with friends down there too!  Oh and YES I jumped in again and again - Fear be gone!

Photo taken by the gorgeous (inside and out) Lisa :)

Evening...

That night we had 5 teenage boys at home...

Actually most mornings and afternoons we have 5 teenage boys hanging out here, which I think is pretty darn awesome! I love watching the way they interact, whether its egging each other on, stirring one another, or offering encouragment and support. Even on those days where they bicker with each other, there is something truly special in the bonds they have, its more than just being mates, its a brotherhood. One that I hope they keep always!

Sunday 3rd March 2019

Mr Acey accidently turned the aircon from cool to heat and so five teenage boys in a hot house equaled too many pairs of cranky panks, with mind being the biggest of them all SO a trip for the dip it was!

I really didn't want to have to come home, but given it was a school night we had a routine to follow.  At least we felt much more refreshed to tackle the Sunday night getting ready for Monday chores!

Anyway that's it...hope you come back again and read the next blog!

Read more "Hello March 2019"

July 2018

The ups, the downs and inbetweens of month 7 of 12!

3^rd - Well, today was exam day! All I can say is thank goodness I went in with a subject pass as I sure as heck know that today’s grade won't be anywhere near even what I consider "good". Gotta be honest, it sucks as ofcourse I wanted the HD, D or even the C...BUT I am going to have to settle for "good enough" and get used to the P (4). Despite a myriad of reasons as to why I struggled with study this semester bottom line is that it just wasn't a priority and my grades reflect that. Anyway, results not released until the 20th of this month so time to let it go, rest, reset and refocus on kicking butt next semester!  SO…it turns out that I did actually get a Distinction!

4^th – Mr. 13 made me a cuppa for the very first time today BUT didn’t boil the kettle in case he burnt himself and only added the teabag for half a second. Drink it down and smile Mumma bear, drink it down.

July 5th - Up at 5am, at car depot by 6am, on the plane at 7.30am. Tassie here we come!  Up up and away!

Day 1 - Hung out  at Mum and Dads exploring their yard. Very thankful for the huge woodpile – its bloody freezing!

6^th – 7^th – Day 2/3 - Dark and cold outside so relaxation mode well and truly set in.

8^th - Day 4 - While the rest of the family went off to church and then out to visit friends, I spent the day in bed unwell.

9^th - Day 5 - While I spent the day in bed my sweet man went into town with his Mum and the boys hung out at home.

10^th - Day 6 - A quick trip into town to the docs and chemist with Mum and then back home to rest.

11^th - Day 7 - While the girls spent the day lazing around at home watching movies, the boys went off digging for hidden treasures.

12^th - Day 8th - After a freezing cold night we woke to so many beautiful sights and the boys had fun smashing ice. I spent the day rugged up in a blanket resting.

13^th - Day 9 - While Mum and I made the long journey into the Launceston Hospital for the day, the boys went on a fishing trip to Scamander.

14^th - Day 10 - Lazy day at home in front of the fire.

15^th - Day 11 - Church followed by a lunch gathering. Whilst I don't believe that attending church makes you any more Christian than sitting in a garage makes someone a car, it was a lovely experience. I love listening to my husband read scripture and talk about his faith - four years of Bible College has certainly impacted his life and I feel a strong desire to embrace and support that side of him more. What I love most is that despite our differences of belief which often result in debate like conversations, our love still grows strong. 

16^th - Day 12 - We didn't do much today other than enjoy each others company.

17^th - Day 13 – HOME!  Its a bittersweet feeling to be home. Despite me being unwell for most of it (Docs tomorrow) we all really enjoyed our time away. Whilst we didn't get out and about much, our time with Mum and Dad (Nana and Grandad & ofcourse Livi the pooch) was very precious. We are so very blessed to have a home away from home and especially to have a wonderful home to return to.

18^th - After attending my doctors appointment, having an emergency chest xray and emptying the chemist of umteen pharmalogical products in order to help with a severe respiratory infection which the doctor suspects to be pneumonia...I have spent my day in bed. I am so blessed to have netflix and am halfway through season 2 of Anne with and E - oh gosh it brings back many memories - I would love to watch the original again though.  Anyway only a quick update...may you all have a restful night.  P.S.  On top of all this now Mark is under the weather too OMG …SCARY SHIT!

24^th – Jazz has a dislocated finger, which is a possible break…xray tomorrow – bloody scooters!  Of course it goes without saying that we are ultra grateful for it only being a finger *phew*. So with that now being 3 out of the 4 of us needing medical intervention of one sort or another this week, if you see Ace wrapped in cotton wool and bubble wrap you will understand why LOL!

28^th - In honour of our glorious full moon on this magical night. May the light that shines within be focused upon our dreams and not our fears, shedding the veils, dispersing the shadows and manifesting a reality that sees us rise and glow in your wonder.

Todays Gratitude focus is upon the blessing of friendships; knowing that despite each of us navigating our own storms, we are still there for each other shining our lights and holding each other up even from a distance. Pretty darn spesh I think and I love yas all.

"Sometimes one must physically lose sight to know that they can still see in the dark" - Natasha.

30^th - Today we open the gateway and learn to navigate new territory, new terrain, new paths. Whilst fear of the unknown is admittedly a little daunting, there is also an element of excitement and hope that this gateway will provide a deep and enriching lifestyle change that will be most beneficial to our entire family. But first...to ask the questions and learn the answers so that we may put it all into action and gain wisdom. Everything happens for a reason, whatever that may be....have faith that all will be revealed!

Read more "July 2018"

In touch with a power greater than oneself...

"Those who lose dreaming are lost" - Australian Aboriginal Proverb.

"I admit I don't know it all yet.  Learning comes in many forms".

A logical and rational mind is a good thing to have, but we also need to allow ourselves the freedom to contemplate that which is outside of our own rationale; so that we can learn, grow and expand our reality outside of ourselves: to connect with the process of the universe that allows us to weave dreams.

Obviously the first thought that comes into my mind with regards to the above mentioned, is my recent new adventure into the exploration of scriptures in the bible.  Whilst my Mum thinks it will turn me into a "bible basher", I believe that it will expand upon that which I already hold true in my heart and provide a deeper level of spiritual connection. 

But, if I take Marks view of my pagan beliefs and mix it with Mums view of my scripture reading I shall then be an "Overtly sexualised goat slaying pentagram wearing bible basher".

I know that there are other areas within my life that I could talk about how this relates to also but to be honest, now all I have running through my head is.....

An image of myself wearing nothing but a pentagram, dancing with a tribe of other naked sexualised beings, around a raging fire which encases a slaughtered goat tethered to a maypole, chanting psalms from the bible, to the beat of a deer hide drum under the light of the full moon.

Hahahahaha omgoodness its just so funny, I crack myself up. I have completely lost my rational mind right now!

Read more "In touch with a power greater than oneself..."

Opening my mind, my heart, to something new....

Opening my mind

Opening my heart

To something new

Now before I continue I should probably say that the concept of GOD is not totally new to me, I have in the past had several in depth conversations with theology teachers (my ex husband is one of them) about the topic, I believe that Jesus was the very first light worker / healer, I've even attended church and Sunday school, although that was mostly because I loved school and wanted to go every day and well if it was on a Sunday even if it was about religion, I wasn't missing out. In saying all that I also nearly became a Hare Krishna too, Oh the memories - I love it when my Mum tells the stories.

I did however, have more faith in God up until meeting a person who claims to be a Christian and preaches words from the bible and attends church and has so many people believing lies but she is so hypercritical in her actions that my faith has been diminished. I have more of a higher standard of morals in my little toe than she has in her entire so called Christian body and yet I am apparently ungodly because I do not go to church and pretend to be someone I am not. Then again I also don't allow my child to be repeatedly traumatized in the most despicable of ways and yet turns a blind eye to it all - GRRRRR she makes me so mad, it is any wonder I question if the GOD they speak of truly exists?  I guess the fact that I am unforgiving towards her and the ones who hurt a person I love deeply makes me unchristian but that I can deal with.

Anyway, despite that little spat, I do actually hold a belief of my own, although I would describe my belief in God/Goddess as more of a 'Spiritual' belief, drawing bits from my Maori culture, Shamanism, Paganism, Buddhism and other 'new age' areas; for a lack of a much better word as I really do not like the stereo typical stigma connected with it. I also think that if we were to strip back all the dogma associated with religion that we may actually believe in the same thing, although in a different concept of it.

Recently I told my partner that I believed him to be very 'close minded' with regards to delving deeper into what I believe and making a judgment based upon a preconceived notion. This I think is in part due his beliefs being something he grew up with so is an ingrained part of him, also because he studied it at university (in order to question and reaffirm what he believes) but mostly because of his past manipulative and narcissistic partners doing. Actually, when we first starting 'hanging out' together he believed that our difference of opinion in 'our faith' would be a point of no return AND yet here we are, crazily in love and very honest and open with each other and both with differing and yet somewhat the sames views on God. 

As fate (synchronicity) would have it, I stumbled across an awesomely colourful site (HERE is the link for you to check it out yourself) that just so happened to have uploaded a 'Scripture Writing Plan'.

What is a Scripture Writing Plan? Well from what I can gather its a guide to reading passages of the bible - which surprisingly I do actually own as I was given it as a gift from my Dad's neighbor when I was 10 and never felt that I could/should get rid of it; despite only really flicking through the pages and not really being open to reading it....because let's face it, really good stories can be written by anyone right? It's just a glorified fiction novel? Hmmm, Maybe, Maybe not - I am about to find out and put my cynicism to the test - ooh I ran off track again ummm what was I saying? Oh yeah reading passages from the bible, writing them out and reflecting on what they mean to you and in doing so it helps understand and gain a better knowledge and connection / relationship with..., yes you guessed it GOD!

As I called my partner out on his 'close mindedness' I thought hmmm, perhaps he is reflecting something within myself and so in order not to be hypercritical, I have decided to give this scripture thing a go (with his loving support) in order to allow myself to be open to what he believes God to be? In return, he is going to be open to my 'spiritual' interpretation.

I don't know yet whether I will be sharing it here or not, I most probably will though as blogging seems to be keeping me sane and gives me something to do when I have a million thoughts running around in my head. Who knows maybe you will find it interesting, maybe you wont and really it doesn't matter because this is my journey towards knowing God - well the one that is spoken about in the bible anyway.

One of my fav songs - I thought it was appropriate!

Read more "Opening my mind, my heart, to something new...."

Alone Time

August 31

"So you see, imagination needs moodling, - long, inefficient, happy, idling, dawdling and puttering." - Brenda Ueland.

When was the last time you just sat and looked out into a great expanse of nothing and allowed your mind, your body to be still?  Just breathed in and out, completely still in your thoughts and movements?

I used to do this on a regular basis but lately I have been so caught up in the hustle and bustle of dealing with life that I had forgotten my coping strategy, forgotten to allow my self to breathe and to trust in the higher power; be it GOD, Buddha, Brahman, Allah, Great Spirit....whatever your belief - a higher source of power, out there in the universe.

It was nice to be reminded about my alone time today, especially as winter draws to a close - waking from our hibernation state to open up a new season, embracing new growth and new beginnings.

Today I got some really good news. I have been approved for my university funding. YAY right? Well, it was for about 30 minutes and then the feeling of euphoria faded.

Unfortunately, my mind has been racing overtime with what ifs and indecision over which course I really want to do and whether or not to do the course which appears to be the easy way out and yet not the one that ultimately fulfills my hearts desire and it has left me feeling lost and confused and deflated rather than elated.

SO after opening up my book tonight and reading today's meditation I made the choice to take some time out and be still before I make a decision.

I really wanted to just rush in to enrolling into a course and getting started because as you may of read in my previous post, patience is not one of my strong points and I had been impatiently waiting for aaaaggggeeeeessssss to hear the amazingly wonderful news that I was given today; but instead, I decided to take some time to just be still. To stop over analysing everthing! To stop trying to figure it all out! To trust that internally I know the answers and if I don't then I will be guided in the stillness.

This is an awesome song that says it all perfectly!

Read more "Alone Time"