17th, 18th, 19th January 2019

Thursday 17th January 2019

Woke up feeling semi normal (aka migraine subsided finally and TTOTM almost finished), so I worked for half the day and pottered about for the rest!  

Mark and I also talked about going away...yay or nay? here or there?

Friday 18th January 2019

Today we visited these little cuties so we could celebrate their birthdays. Keana was 6 on the 16th and Kohden will be 3 on the 20th. And, today was their Daddys birthday, but unfortunately he was at work so we didn't get to see him (we did get to see his family though, so that was really nice).  

My heart melts watching the four of them all playing so beautifully together.  For the most part today it was with the playdough, which even the adults found to be quite therapeutic LOL.

It was also a bonus getting to spend some time with my little sister.  Her wise words of wisdom really helped get me out of my 'mood' this week and chatting with her today was also such a blessing.  Bottom line "release expectation" and just take it all "one appointment at a time".  Applys to everything really and not just the PM process!

AGAIN, that night Mark and I talked about going away versus day trips!

Saturday 19th January 2019

MOST of today was spent OVERTHINKING about going away OR not to go away, which meant going around in CIRCLES! 

We all really want to get away, no doubts about that.  But, as my gut doesn't feel right about going off the grid completely this year, (not sure why but my gut is rarely wrong - so that means we listen to it) it means that we need to find a camp spot on the grid, next to a river or watersource, with very little people around (tricky given Australia Day is this weekend).

Oh and NOT Lake Tyers as demanded by Mr. 15 who is in a MOOD yet again!  Gggrrrr, I am not dealing well with these teenage hormone mood swings...attitude plus!  Mind you, after I stopped being a grumpy old adult, and took time to sit and truly listen to him, his only beef with Lake Tyers was that he couldn't swim in the Lake!  With prompting, he did acknowledge that most of that trip was spent in water of some kind, be it a day trip to the beach or the river (aka Bright water park OR Balley Hoolley...oh how we ALL love that place).  

Look, I get it.  It is hard to beat the Wellington and Howqa river camp spots we have been spoilt with the past few years, BUT unless we venture outside of what we know, we won't discover new places!  Athough, as Mr. 15 pointed out..."last year we looked for a new place and they were 'crap' so we ended up in Licola". True! But, doesn't meant you don't keep exploring!

Anyway his attitude, well more my reaction to it, had me on the brink of saying "fuck it, we're staying home...no camping, no day trips, just home!".  But being the stubborn cow I am,  I thought "why the fuck should the rest of us miss out" as quite frankly, he's a kid and will just go wherever the rest of us do...like it or not, and realistically I knew he would like it once we got there.  It's an axiety thing so I totally get it, he likes to be in control and KNOW!  Yes, he is his mothers child...probs why we tend to butt heads a little.

The other thing we had to navigate was TIME!  Normally we like to do at least a week out bush...two preferred.  This year though, we had already had a week of holidays with our beautiful friends, and then I worked a week and had the hospital appointment, and so time was restricted.  Our thoughts were initially, Sunday to Monday which meant home in time for an appointment on Tuesday and to be able to settle back into normal routine before school.  Again however, Mr. 15 decided he didn't want to miss his weekend with Dad!  Never been an issue before but apparently now it is...to be completely honest, I think its more about hanging with Glenn's next door neighbours!  BUT he is their father and as much as he can give me the shits, I still work at ensuring they have a good relationship with him, we have a good relationship with him!   So anyhow that left Sunday to Friday to work with...well really to Thursday.

Then there was the thought of having to sort through the camper and see what was packed, what was needed to be packed blah blah blah!  Normally this would of been well and truly done by now, but well it wasn't...still isn't.

Don't know why but I'm just not feeling it this year...well I am, as I LOVE camping, so much so I could easily pack up and take off for good, but it all just feels like too much hard work right now!  To be honest, I think just 'overthunk' it all and found myself in a state of 'Paralysis by Analysis'!

Eventually, Mark and I just said ENOUGH and we pushed it aside to just take some time out to BREATHE!  

And it worked!!!

We are booked in to the Magdala Motor Lodge in Stawell for 3 nights (plus decided on a day trip for Thursday and/or Friday).  We leave tomorrow (Sunday) and come home on Wednesday.  We chose Stawell as its close to Halls Gap and Marks never been (despite getting to Ararat that day we did a family drive) AND because it was relatively affordable!

So its NOT off the grid, its NOT by a swimable river - although they do have a lake and a canoe that you can use AND a swimming pool, and tennis/basketball court and free WIFI, oh and it obviously is NOT camping! 

To be honest we can't really afford it, but fuck it! I need this time away to reconnect with my family, to reconnect with me, to not be home, to not feel as though I have to just please everyone else (something I still definitely need to work through this year)!

Anyway, we spent the rest of tonight getting shit together to take away...food (after a quick family shopping trip to Coles), board games, clothes, swimmers, scooters, recliner chairs, life jackets, blow up raft, boogie boards, tennis rackets, basketball, laptop, hdmi and usb of movies...the kitchen sink!  Hmmmmm, may as well have sorted the camper (which should really be ready to go as last trip I repacked it afterwards - oh well) LOL!

Well thats it for now, I'm off to tidy the house so its nice to come home to...then I'd better try and get some sleep.  

Hoping to be on the road by 12ish, ideally earlier would be great but meh holiday mode and all...so we will get there when we get there...I said we would check in between 2pm and 3pm.

Praying that this place I booked is as good as it looks on bookings.com.

Stay tuned folks!