Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Day 2, Week 3

I am exhausted on all levels - Mentally, Physically and above all else Emotionally.

Right now I am feeling extremely disgusted in myself because I managed to force feed myself (and believe me it was forced) 1443Calories.  There are so many other things I can say about how that made me feel but right now I am just not in the mood.  I wasn't going to even bother with this blog tonight but here I am!

I went to the physio about my knee today and as we were finishing up she asked me if I had considered trying to loose weight.   I wanted to scream at her, because I had already told her at the beginning of the session that I had the lapband and that I had put on weight due to it stuffing up and that I had been training at the Gym...why ask me questions if you aren't going to listen?  Anyway, So basically she said to just stretch more and that if I lost weight it would get better!!  Big waste of time that was!

OK, I can't be F*#)@ed writing anymore, I am shitty and upset and just want to crawl into a hole and not come out until I am so thin that I can dissappear and then I won't have people judge me for being FAT anymore!! 


3 comments:

  1. STOP IT!!!!
    Just because the stupid physio didn't listen, it doesn't mean you are being judged! It just means that she has a hearing problem!
    You are going to go through these emotions on different levels every day and,because you are so sure that you are horrible and fat, you think that everyone around you is thinking the same. They are not honey.
    You should be so proud that you managed to be kind to your poor body and give it what it needs. Try to focus on the good that you are doing yourself and that you have kept your word.
    You are beautiful, strong and positive. When Tash sets her mind to something, it not only gets done, but it gets done well. You are sooooo doing the right thing. You have made the first step sweet girl. Don't look back now.I love you xoxo

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  2. An exert from an article I found. There are plenty more online sweetie! GOOGLE THE SCIENCE BEHIND THIS!!!!


    OK – so we want to lose weight quicker. Just reduce the daily calories more, right? Wrong! When you reduce your calorie intake too far, your body thinks it is starving and it starts to go into survival mode. So your metabolism shuts down, you are tired and crazy hungry all the time and you may even actually gain weight as your body stores every spare calorie it can find to keep you alive later.

    To a lesser extent, even that 1,500 calorie diet can do the same thing – over time, your body will become accustomed to running on 1,500 calories per day and your weight loss will hit a plateau.

    Here’s the secret of eat more to lose more…

    There is a hormone called Leptin that is responsible for this starvation behaviour. The good news is that it takes about a week to kick in… So, all you do, is you plan for an official “binge” day once per week! This is not a day to gorge yourself, but you CAN indulge in a few extras – especially carbs. Those carbs will jumpstart your metabolism to a higher level, as they are easily converted to glucose. Although you will be sacrificing some of those calories that you saved during the week – the end result will be more energy, better and more sustained weight loss and, the best part, you get to eat some of the things you love once a week so you’ll be better able to avoid cheating!

    Eat more to lose more sounds like a contradiction – but now you know the secret – you’ll find your weight loss MUCH easier to achieve!

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I welcome all messages and comments that are positive and encouraging. If however you do have some criticism please make sure that it is constructive rather than destructive. Much Love, Light and Peace XOXO Tash!