Feeling Overwhelmed...

September 14 - Feeling Overwhelmed 

"Feeling Overwhelmed isn't surprising. Being surprised about it is" - Anne Wilson Schaef

"With life being all that it is, being over whelmed seems like a normal reaction."

Today's meditation topic is about feeling overwhelmed and by golly do I know the feeling of being suffocated by life and everything within it all to well. It feels as though I can't breathe, that I am trapped and there is no escape.

Quite often I will admit that it is of my own doing, usually yet again taking on too much, not saying no to something I didn't want to do or the fact that things aren't as perfectly in order as I wish for them to be.  There are times however when it is due to something out of my control.

Either way, there is always a way out even if it doesn't always seem like it at the time.

How I deal with feeling overwhelmed...

After my mini or colossal meltdown, tantrum or cleaning frenzy (remembering that I am OCD and my internal reflects the external).

I stop!

I breathe!

And then, I step back from it all so that I can get an outside perspective on what is going on, rather than being in the thick of it all.

Then, I analyse it bit by bit, figuring out which things stay and if possible which things go. Whether I need to ask for help or if I can do it on my own; most often than not my pride prevents me from seeking help from others - another thing I need to overcome and not see as a sign of weakness but in fact strength of character.

After that. its a matter of breaking it down into steps and making a plan of attack.

I take another deep breath!

Tell myself I've got this!

Then, I step back in again working step by step to get through it. 

Quite often I will actually repeat the mantra of 'one step at a time' or a positive affirmation like 'I can achieve what I need to do effortlessly' in my head.

And sure enough the feeling passes.

What's overwhelming me at this moment...

Tonight I'm feeling overwhelmed knowing we have a full day of court again tomorrow (custody battle - I will post about it more at a later date) and I really don't want to go but we 'have' to; well we could walk away but we have chosen to fight so really its because of a choice we have made, but still!  It is just so bloody draining and in all honesty seems like a waste of time especially considering the fact that the report we are going to court for the release of tomorrow hasn't even been completed by the clinic yet.  No doubt the other party will also throw yet another spanner in the works because they only ever think of themselves and the perpetrators agenda rather than the well-being of the actual victim in all of this.  I really wish that karma would bite them on the arse's sooner rather than later. I am usually a person who is all love, light and alfalfa but arrrrhhhhhhh even thinking about them makes smoke come out of my ears. 

I'd better end this blog now before I head off in a rant and a direction that I don't have the tactful ability to cover just yet. Maybe I need to work out a way how to let go of how angry and physically sick to my stomach it makes me.  I will never forget and I will never forgive no-matter how many times a day they pray but I do need to let go of the feeling of rage it raises in me, for my.own benefit. 

Anyway, time for me to stop, breathe, step back and work out a plan of attack for how to get through tomorrow.  At least Mark and I have each other for support - for that I am truly thankful.

How do you deal with feeling overwhelmed?